Feeling lost and worn out - a very blank feeling

[Beers]

I’m just feeling lost. Really worn out. Need to get this out of my system, onto the page, not sure why today is the day i type it out, after feeling this way for a long time. Through most of lockdown I just never really stopped to reflect on anything, just put on a brave face and approached everything as some sort of puzzle, like I was expected to just get on with it and make it all work. There were some dark times but I would often just shrug them off, and continue working or doing whatever needed to be done. Now the lockdown is over - but while others are energised and planning exciting adventures like camping, shopping, dining, I’m left with this blank feeling of exhaustion. I actually am surprised by this feeling - i thought i would be amongst the celebrating crowd. Feeling torn between two worlds - I have so much that needs to be done and am running behind on my work, don’t feel like doing anything though - don’t feel like work, don’t feel like play - and only just realised I have wasted several hours in the last few days just staring blankly at the wall and feeling sorry for myself but having no idea why. Have been through much worse than my current situation, in fact the future looks bright and positive, but i just feel so so meh. Anyway just looking for a sign. I know it all sounds a bit vague but I am a private person.

[Mk2692]

Hi Beers,

Thank you for reaching out here and I'm sorry that you are going through a difficult time. It sounded like lockdown was tough for you and you haven't dealt with all the emotions that came with it and now that lockdown is over you feel that you have no excuse to feel sad. It is normal to want to keep yourself busy during the lockdown and a lot of changes happened in over almost two years now. It was quite overwhelming and still is to a degree, and now with everything going back to somewhat a different normal, you still feel more mentally exhausted. Even having things back to normal can be overwhelming, because we don't know what more changes will come, the future is unpredictable. I don't know if you mentioned how you are feeling to family or friends, but I would reach out to them for a cup of coffee and you would be surprised that some people do feel the same. Change is not easy and we all had many changes happen in the past few months. I understand that you are a private person and maybe you might not want to reach out to people around, there is the option of seeing a professional. I think you might find it helpful, you can ask your GP for a referral to a psychologist. A psychologist might help you deal with the emotions you are going through and resolve issues from the past. Hope this helps.

[Beers]

Thanks Mk2692,

This is good advice. Yes I have mentioned my issue to friends, but i didn't really convey to them how deeply it had impacted on me. I am willing to open up a bit more to friends, but for now i think i will see a psychologist.

[geoff]

Hello Beers, being a private person and coming to this site, takes enormous courage and want to thank you.

You may be able to hide how you feel but those of us know exactly what you are trying to do, it's not easy because your mood has to change from one extreme to another, and that's exhausting.

It doesn't matter how well the future may look, if you're not feeling well then you don't have the strength or the want to do anything, but please don't blame yourself as being in lockdown will change your attitude when looking at your current situation, simply because the rules keep on changing all the time, so this is going to affect how we feel and make us uncertain, and will naturally deter you from doing all the things you once loved doing.

You can't sit on these feelings, you may need the help from your doctor, to begin with.

Please Beers if you can get back to us, that would be terrific.

Geoff.

[Beers]

Thanks Geoff, yeah you are right about the changing of moods being exhausting. I do appreciate hearing that I shouldn't blame myself. The lockdown is a huge issue, there is some comfort i can take in that i'm not alone in the feeling. I'll check in with the doctor and see what help he can offer.