Adult bullying

[Justin95]

How do you respond to passive aggressive bullying. It happens a lot to me when I’m out and about. Makes me feel depressed.

[Petal22]

Hi Justin95,

Im so sorry you have experienced this…

In the past when I’ve experienced this I actually turn around and be extra nice to the person being a bully ……. I tell them to have a nice day with a very happy cheery way…

I think the people who are unkind need more kindness…. Maybe we could teach them something?

Their behaviour is a reflection of themselves

[white knight]

Hi Justin

In my view there is 3 options.

• Ignore it. This is the best option the has its problems. They might continue to bully you regardless. It will bottle things up so there is no closure or release.
• Try to reason with the bully. This can take several options. Like joking with them, serious talk, ask them questions, engage in communication
• Retaliate verbally. This can include shouting but leads towards verbal abuse, cut them out of your life, block them from social media. The risk here is they may return the aggression. The benefit might be they realise you are not a soft touch.

Depending on the situation I choose the option that suits the person doing the bullying. Eg My younger sister I'd negotiate, talk calmly to her how I feel. If a stranger was bullying me or a person that cannot defend themselves I'd choose option 3 as I'm a larger man and can appear intimidating. I could do passive aggression like getting in between the bully and the bullied. If I encounter bulling from a teenager I'd ignore it.

Hope that helps.

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello Justin, people who use ' passive aggressive bullying' are waiting for a reaction from the person they're doing this to, that's how they get their strength and enjoyment and may do this in many different ways, like the silent treatment, slamming doors or books in front of you to get your reaction, and once they get this, then it's a win for them.

If they are confronted by doing this, then they use it as being a joke, then laugh making it feel worse but usually do it to people who are unable to say anything back, again gaining some type of control and don't feel as though they need to take responsibility for their actions.

Some of these people may do something when no one is watching them and then claim their innocence and could say they're victimised when confronted by authorities and take no responsibility for their actions and when confronted they may make inappropriate remarks and mumble under their breath, but you don't have to try and appease them, this once again gives them more strength.

Somewhere along the way, they will be the people that will be caught out and their indiscretion will be highlighted.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Baljit]

Hi Justin,

I am sorry that you have experienced this type of behaviour.

You, will not be surprised but this behaviour is quite common in most people’s work and private life’s.

I experienced this type of behaviour at work and the way I handle it was I challenged their poor behaviour in a non-aggressive manner and advised them of how their behaviour had made me feel and on most occasions this has worked .

However, there will be a time where the above approach will not work and I suggest that you just do not give these individuals a reaction and just treat them in a courteous, respectful and professional, hence maintaining your moral values.

All the best…