Feeling empty

[Missberri]

Hi everyone

I just wanted to post as I haven't really been feeling like myself lately. I don't feel like I'm full on depressed, but lately I have just been feeling very empty like just nothing is really making me feel good or happy or excited and I don't know why and I don't know what to do about it.. When I see my friends and meet up with people I just don't feel good how I used to. I used to be super excited, but now I just feel like I don't know what we would do I don't know what to say and I don't enjoy myself. It's starting to make me feel a bit anxious because I feel like I'm boring them and I'm starting to not want to see them at all because I'm scared of ruining my friendships with this attitude i have.. but I'm just genuinely finding it difficult to have fun and find things to talk about with everyone even with my closest friends 😕

I'm also having a bit of trouble with work.. I've been working in a retail job for the past 6 months and it's starting to get very repetitive and i don't feel fulfilled and excited when i go there. I don't get that much time off either so all the time I wanted to spend doing exciting with friends and family during my uni holidays has been instead spent in this boring empty store which I know is a part of working but I'm getting tired of trying to make plans with people to do things i actually enjoy and then being told no you have to stay here to do this 3 hour shift because no one else is available. A lot of my close friends have moved away in the past few months and it just would be nice to be able to see them while I have the time before things get too busy and crazy with uni again..

Anyway I really just don't know why I'm feeling this way I'm used to feeling pretty happy and having a lot of fun and I feel like I'm just filled with negativity and negative emotions right now.. I just wish I wasn't feeling this way and wish I knew what to do about it..

Thanks in advance if anyone has any advice or stories they can relate or anything it is much appreciated!! :):)

[romantic_thi3f]

Hey Missberri,

Thanks for your post.

You mentioned that you don't feel "full-on depressed" but depression never has to be "full-on" for us to experience it. Often instead it comes in ebbs and waves; somedays are better than others.

I can definitely relate to what you've described; having struggled with depression for years I do know the feeling of struggling to find joy in things and feeling like I'm boring everyone. It's a bitter pill to swallow when we can't find joy in what we used to but it doesn't mean it's impossible. Often we just have to work a bit harder on trying to find things to help.

Is there anyone that's supporting you through this or anyone that you've talked to about how you feel? If your friends are supportive it might be helpful that they know so that they can be there for you. Good friends will love you for you; not for what you do or what you talk about. A psychologist can also be helpful in having someone to talk to; especially in helping to challenge the thoughts of 'I'm boring them' or that you're ruining your friendship. I strongly feel that if a friend cannot hold space for how you're feeling he/she is not a good friend. How we talk to ourselves is also so important in the way we feel.

You also mentioned your retail job; is this something that's open to change; like applying for a new job elsewhere, going up within the company or changing your responsibilities?

Another thing worth mentioning is what else consumes your time between retail and catching up with friends. For me and my depression, these were the little things that mattered and made an impact. Small things like what we eat, sleep, what shows/movies we watch, apps on the phone, our living space - if you can, try to be mindful of all the little things that fill up your day and how much joy you're actually getting from them. You may not be able to change your job right now; but you can certainly control a lot of other things in your life.

Hope this helps 🙂

[Missberri]

Thanks a lot for your post it's very helpful! 🙂

I think you're right I really need to have more small things to fill up my time while im on holidays 😕 at the moment I've been going to the gym and just watching shows or playing video games at home, sometimes seeing my friends too but it's all becoming kind of the same stuff every day and not anything exciting. I haven't really opened up to my friends too much about how I'm feeling.. i find it so difficult to because I don't want to bring them down with my depressing stories -.- i know they would listen i just find it difficult to open up in that way.. lol! But yeah you're right I need to work on things I can control right now I guess and not let myself be in this slump.. hopefully things can start getting better

Thanks again for your help!!

[happyannie]

Hi

Today Im feeling very depressed and I cant seem to control it and how it makes me feel. Im sorry to hear that you are having a tough time and not quite knowing what to do about it. I used to work in retail for many years and I found it very mundane and would often find myself staring into space, ignoring people and I just wasnt interested in my work.

I know longer work, as I dont leave the house anymore, I only leave the house to go to the Doctors and thats getting really difficult for me.

I hope that you can find someone to talk to and discuss your issues, I find talking to my therapist helps me alot.

Ive just joined the forum a couple of weeks ago wow what an amazing forum, I havent done alot of posts but there is information everywhere.

Just remember you are not alone

Take care

Annie

[BballJ]

Hi Missberri,

I think more planning would be a good thing, plan things for after your shifts if possible, try and see the friends between the hours you aren't working. Once uni finishes and you have a full time job in a field you enjoy, you'll find going to work is fun again, part time jobs are tough because you generally do them for the money and rarely for the love of the workplace, not to say no one enjoys their part time job but it may not be as mentally stimulating as you'd like, nothing wrong with that. I learnt a lot during my younger years about time management and inbetween working and gym for example and seeing friends.

It is also hard to open to friends about these sorts of feelings, is there a close friend you can cause having someone to talk to and understand you is good, these forums as you may have seen are great for getting things off your mind and having like minded people give you advice, which I've seen you got a bit of it above.

My best for you,

Jay

[geoff]

hi Missberri, yes depression doesn't have to full on the whole time never the less it still restricts what you want to do, and at first your friends may want to listen to you, but that's about as far as it goes, because most times they just want to leave you alone, as they don't know what to say orhow to respond to you, so that's why they go away.
There is a reason why you are feeling like this, although you may not have any idea, and that's the worst part, so you need to go to your doctor and get a referral to see a psychologist.
The longer you hold back the worse it will come.
What I would do is write down how you are feeling and what has been causing you trouble so that your doctor will understand what you are saying, and I would also take this document with you when you see the psycholigist. Geoff.