Feeling Depressed and needin to Vent

[Chloekat84]

Hello Everyone. Ive written on this site before. I have BPD and Dysthymia and feeling very emotional and depressed. I went to a emergency refuge clinic as I wasn't coping with anything at home and I had time to think and reflect about myself and didn't need to worry about my daughter as my folks were looking after her for a week while I was there. Then when I came out my grandma came to stay with me for 3 weeks as she heard I wasn't that well so she travelled all the way from Darwin. She leaves tomorrow evening and I feel very upset about it and know that im going to be completely on my own since I was in the clinic. To make things worse my sister is upset with me as she thinks shes not welcome here because one day she wanted to come over and said I was busy so she just said she'd see my dad and now she thinks im only going to want her company when my grandma leaves. Shes currently pregnant and very emotional so I think that may have something to do with it. Im upset about all of this and don't know what to do as ill be all alone and no one to talk to. :'( :'(

[Phoenix76]

Hi Chloe,

It is perfectly normal to be upset and anxious about being on your own after not feeling very well and then having lots of support around you. I am sure most people feel very vulnerable when its time to stand on your own again, but have faith in yourself! You have had some respite and now you just need to remember to just take baby steps in the way you look at everything you do and before you know it, you will be back in the flow.

Did you get any tips for when you got back home? If not why not look it up on the net for some tips or speak with a counselor 🙂

It sounds like you and your sister are both emotional and vulnerable at the moment, just let her know you love her and sorry that you may have caused offence, as it was not your intention... it sounds like you have family support, keep that in mind, but remember 1 day at a time... at one point I was coping 1 minute at a time... then that grew to 5 mins, then 30mins etc until I felt more confident and even now when I am anxious and overwhelmed I got back to 'baby steps' and forget the big picture for now and just focus on a few minutes at a time, or one task at a time...

I hope you receive the help you seek, good luck! 

Phoenix 🙂

[Chloekat84]

Hello Phoenix and thanx for the reply. The people at respite told me the same thing. To have in myself and to take it one day at a time etc. I know I will be ok but maybe not as good as when I had my grandma staying here. Its going to be hard keeping up with all the housework without her here as she helped a lot. And know its all on me. Ive told my sister im here if she needs me so she knows where I am if she needs me so its up to her now. Thanx for the advice.