Feeling alone

[NQR__]

How to take the step in getting professional help? I know I need to, and have needed to for a long time. 
However I feel like I am too emotional to even begin to talk to someone. I imagine that conversation, the things I would need to verbalise and I am a mess just thinking about doing that. The things I feel are too much. 
but I live every day feeling like I’m an apple, healthy looking on the outside but rotting on the inside where no one can see. I don’t remember what it feels like to not live constantly in my head, anticipating conversations and what people think of me, being in a continuous state of justification, people pleasing…over analysing. It never stops. I fantasise when driving on the highway about what it would be like to pull down hard on the steering wheel and flip my car. I feel like I’m going crazy and I’m losing myself. A moment of normal conversation on the phone to being in tears seconds after hanging up. And I don’t even know why. I want to make sense of it and I want it all to stop. But how, when it feels to much to face? 

[WishyBee]

I live like this most days myself. Perhaps it might help to write one of worries/ justifications/ over analysis on this forum. You could try online chat help to start, it wouldn’t matter how emotional you were while typing. 

[ABC01]

Hello,

Your GP can be a great place to start and try to seek/discuss a Medicare Mental Health Plan. It may connect you to Psychologists or counselling.

Your GP would not be intrusive but ask a standard test to hand the results to a professional to help you. Mental Health Plans do cost money from some GP’s. GP’s may know Psychologists to connect you to.

And then it is at your pace with a treating professional.

Treating professionals don’t push, they don’t judge, they are there to support you.If you cry, fine. If you have an emotional outburst,fine. They have seen and treated a range of people and are used to things not going in a rigid order. In fact they maybe able to help,discuss and even identify why you needed to cry. And then be able to help you figure out on a daily basis how to balance things a bit easier.

It takes courage to try. Small steps count. So count this as one small step you have already taken.

I wish you bravery in your journey,even if you need a long running start.

ABC01