DEPRESSION WORSENING

[Guest_77866763]

I have Bipolar & Borderline Personality Disorder for 35 years & had drug addiction for 40 years. I’m on many medications. I’ve taken multiple overdoses in my life with over 120 Public Psychiatric Admissions which makes me aggressive - I hate Psych Units. I had to quit Cannabis fully 6 months ago due to developing ’Hyperemesis’. Although I’m on medication I still get manic & depressive periods that usually pass after a few weeks. Although I’m a loner with no friends, I’ve been feeling very lonely. I’ve been stable for 4 years but 2 months ago developed depression without a trigger, which is just getting worse. Apart from feeling down & unmotivated, I feel irritable with headaches & tension. Last week I took too much medication and went to Mental Health Services yesterday for help. They rang my daughter today & told her about the overdose, they had no right to divulge my private & confidential information to her especially when I told them I didn’t want her to know. I was so angry I rang them & abused them & threatened to punch the person in the face if I found out who told her & then I hung up on them. I wouldn’t do this in reality but regret yelling the threat at them & hanging up because I really do need their services to avoid ending up in hospital again. I don’t know what to do to get out of this state I’m in.

[Sophie_M]

Hello,

Thank you so much for sharing your story with our community. 

We can see you have experienced an inordinate amount of pain over time, and we can't imagine how overwhelming this has all been for you. Psychiatric admission and recurring mental health challenges can be very distressing, so feeling hurt, confused, and frustrated right now is completely understandable. 

It is evident how resilient you are given how many times you have reached out and asked for support throughout these challenges, which is no small feat. We get the sense that more community and connection would go a long way for you here, so we hope our forums are able to offer a space for you to be held in your experience. 

We understand divulging your personal information feels hard right now, but when you are ready, we would suggest connecting with as many of your current supports as possible, so that you can address this recent bout of depression and anger you are going through - especially so you can feel good about asking for help from the mental health services you have started to access!

This could be as simple as calling one trusted person and telling them how you feel or asking them to help you make the call to mental health services (so you don’t have to do it all on your own).

You may also find contacting our support service directly is helpful or you can contact SANE for free peer support/community guidance and 1-1 counselling:

SANE Australia

Wishing you a safe week, we are always here if you need to talk.

Warm regards, 
Sophie M.