Feeling alone and helpless

[corbeau]

Hi everyone. This is my first post here. I'm not sure what is wrong with me, but all I know is that I am not right. I have had a couple of sessions with a counsellor who suggested I may have dysthymia but she wasn't able to diagnose it, in addition to that I saw her while I was feeling okay so it masked a lot of what I feel most times. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist next week regarding issues with controlling my moods. I have some of the symptoms of a personality disorder, whether or not the psych will agree in that, I just want some help.  I also have a persistent feeling of lowness, of unhappiness. I have never been a cheery, happy person and it's not something I can just snap out of. I just came back from an overseas holiday of a lifetime and I had some mental issues while on it, however I mostly felt content. However upon return I have hit a wall. I feel as if my life has no future, I have no friends, no prospects, my relationship with my boyfriend sucks. I find myself thinking about suicide, I don't think I would do it but just thinking about it seems to feel right. Basically, I feel as if I will never be happy, never have anything to be alive for, never have anyone. I look at my family and wonder when I will have what they have and realise maybe I'm just not meant to have anything. I don't see a future and I am tired of feeling so sad inside, I just want to feel happy and have a chance to be a normal person, and I wonder why my brain won't let me. I have no one in real life that I feel I can talk to about this so I guess I am desperate for a place to vent these feelings and wishes.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.
 

[Lambie]

I hear you and feel for you - try and hang in there- I have been lost for weeks and have just endured a horrific experience in a mental ward in a hospital - this makes me think I want to get better. Keep reaching out, someone somewhere will help - my dr has arranged for me to see her everyday this week. Keep breathing and taking each hour. That is what I am doing and remember you are not alone! 

[TheSteve]

Hi Corbeau,

Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through, and that you feel you are in a tricky situation with no solution in sight. A few things I've learned over the years either having experienced such feelings, or helping others that are, is that there is ALWAYS a solution There is always a path, often multiple paths, to feeling better. Nothing is set in stone, including the way you feel right now or the way you've felt over time. It is really important to acknowledge this as a truth, and thus as a guiding light in all that you do.

Action is the best path here, and you are already taking certain actions by visiting mental health professionals. Good start. I would also suggest the following:

- Get a physical checkup from your GP. Just taking a physical stock-take can be helpful, as it will either identify certain issues, or show you to be in clean health. In this case, you know to look elsewhere.

- Get checked for food and seasonal allergies. This is very important, certain foods and environmental factors (pollen, pollution etc.) can have a huge impact on our mental state. Because these are often hidden causes, we attribute the cause elsewhere and often look for reasons to justify the way we feel, when in fact, it could be something external that we simply need to eliminate or balance.

- Exercise. Get regular exercise, but don't push yourself too hard. Just start out at your level and work on it weekly, it is important to be healthy in order to feel healthy.

- Eat a healthy diet. Good brain foods like healthy fats (fish, avocado, walnuts, coconut etc.) and lean meats/proteins (chicken, eggs etc.), vegetables and fruits. A healthy diet eliminates another possible cause for feeling down (eliminate processed sugars and gluten where possible)

-Stick with the counseling. Keep a reliable support group around you, including professionals.

- Practice "mindfulness". Look it up via Google or Bing. There is much to learn that will help you on this subject.

- Learn to laugh and smile at least 30 - 60mins a day. Make it a habit to force yourself to do this daily. This has positive effects on us both mentally and physically. Trust me on this one!

- If you are in a bad relationship, change it.

Leave no stone unturned, this is the way to recover from what you are going through. Good luck and come back to talk to us anytime if we can help.

Steve

[Neil_1]

Dear Corbeau

Welcome to Beyond Blue and it’s great that you’ve had a couple of responses already to your post.

To be honest, there’s not a lot more that I can add to either Lambie’s or Steve’s responses to you.  Great support offered and some awesome tips and advice as well.

And from one sufferer to another, I know it’s so hard when we’re feeling down and low that you can’t find the energy or enthusiasm to try and partake in activities that we enjoy, but this is another good option to try and explore.  Most everybody has interests or hobbies in their life – and you don’t have to write them back to us;  but just think about them and see which one you’d really most like to try and do again – and see if you’re able to give it a go?   Something fitness related, or going to the movies, perhaps even shopping, reading, etc – you get the gist and just see if there’s one thing that raises your interest;  even for just a little while.

Also, we’re always here, so if there’s other things you’d like to unload about or if you have other questions (about anything), then it’d be awesome to hear back from you.

Kind regards

Neil

[geoff]

dear Corbeau, thanks for reaching out to us.

I do hope that you can come back and check on your comment, because the suggestions by all concerned have been great.

I am not qualified in making a decision, however to me by having dysthymia which is classified as a mild depression, doesn't take away the fact that it's still depression you are suffering from, so I'm not sure where the cut off is from mild to medium, the point is that you have depression.

I only say this because you say 'you hit a wall' as well as the thought of suicide so your feeling is much more than mild, but your psychiatrist will diagnose you after you start talking to him/her, and as hard as it is to reveal your very private thoughts I hope that it goes well for you.

We all want to help you as much as we can, and please don't be frightened by any of us, because all of us have been to hell and back several times. Geoff.

[corbeau]

Thank you everyone for your replies, I really appreciate the advice and kind words.

I am feeling better, as in not feeling suicidal, but still feeling like my general mood is flatlining. This is how I generally feel everyday which made the counsellor suspect dysthymia. I am trying to eat healthier and be more social, but it just left me feeling like I am awkward and not fun to be around and too different.

I have an appointment with the psychiatrist tomorrow and my great fear is that he says there is nothing wrong with me and I'm just a bad person/moody person. That will be a blow.

Thanks again for your replies.