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Falling into the pit again

Taz2u
Community Member
Hello everyone. I have had depression for most of my life and take antidepressants regularly. I've been feeling pretty low lately and teary, yet I'm finding it difficult to say anything to my husband. I have 3 children- 2 grown up and one about to go to College next year, as well as a stepson, 2 daughter-in-laws and 3 grandkids.I spend most of the week alone at home with my dog. I feel very lonely and don't have any siblings or parents nearby. I am finding it hard to get dressed in the mornings and get little satisfaction from most things. I attend church regularly, yet  feel like I have few good friends. My mum was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer and already suffers from Alzheimers. I went over to give my support recently and found myself having to be the strong one for everyone else. I'm tired and wonder who is there for me when I'm in need. My sister didn't support me very much when I was fragile and this is very annoying, even though I know she has a lot on her plate at home too. I cried for the first time last week, shortly after going to bed...I couldn't talk about what i was feeling because it was overwhelming. My husband asked me what was wrong, hugged me then went back to sleep. He never asked me anything after that. His mum is old and has been depressed from chronic pain.She stayed with us last week and I had primary care of her. I feel guilty because I really didn't need someone else to care for, and I didn't feel I was being cared for either. My husband wants to bring her for another week at Christmas. I feel very alone and very tired. I've felt down before, but sometimes it feels like nothing changes. I terrified to stop taking meds, as I can find myself in this black hole even when I take them diligently
3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Taz2u,  welcome

I think you have a simple case of taking on to much in your life - so many to care for, so much going on. Gee how do you relax let alone care for all these people?

The last thing I'd want you to do is go off you medicine. Please read my new post under depression called "depression- the ship without a rudder". Read up on the many threads here that will give you more knowledge.

You husband doesnt mean to be neglectful. Sometimes we need to sit down and talk. Arrange it, coffee under a tree. Not expect him to remember 10 seconds of being half awake. Be kind, informative and direct. It works better.

Sometimes when we are down we expect more from others. Your sister is a good example. She has like you said " a lot on her plate". Give her the benefit of the doubt. Again be direct, face to face, heart to heart. As we get older our siblings become more important.

Take care

Tony WK


Thank you WK. I will try to talk to my husband again.

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear Taz, what Tony has said is good advice, but I too want to reinforce that it's important not to stop taking your medication, and can I say, and this may sound to be silly, but as you feel these med's aren't working, there maybe a small % working, not that you feel so, but it seems as though they need to be reviewed by your doctor.

When you talk to your husband you could also raise the issue of looking after his mother over xmas simply because of how you feel.

Siblings are always busy at home, especially if they have young children, but a phone call doesn't take a great effort, however maybe the horse has bolted with her, because if she's not receptive, then unfortunately she won't be much help.

Your workload is intensive, but it is strange that when the grown up kids, like yourself, are around a parent who has terminal cancer, sometimes the person who is suffering from depression seems to find another level, another grade a bit higher and then take control, but this doesn't seem to be happening for you.

I hope that your husband is able to understand how you are feeling, but from he did to you in bed, hug you and then go back to sleep, I have my doubts, I really hope that I am wrong.

Have you been to see your GP yet, and if not then it would be a good idea.

Have a read of Tony's post, and please we would love to hear back from you. L Geoff. x