Extended & frequent periods where I just feel very little

[TommyOliver]

Hi all, this is my first post here so hope this can find the right people.

I have never really been very open with my feelings so I felt explaining how I’m feeling through here would be a good first step.

For the past year and a half (possibly longer but I struggle with dates these days) I have been getting long periods of time where I almost have no succinct feelings, like I just go through the motions but there’s nothing really happening in my mind.

In these periods I feel little happiness or joy, don’t get nervous or anxious about anything anymore basically. Even when something bad happens I don’t feel disappointment or sadness, which bugs me even more.

I don’t even remember the last time I felt truly and unequivocally happy about my life. 

There’s nothing really bad happening my life, in fact I’ve got a lot of things going for me at the moment but it doesn’t change how I feel.

Another thing I’ve noticed is my drive to pursue relationships, even when I can tell a girl is interested, is basically gone. I could meet the most extraordinary person and have lots of fun, but they wouldn’t cross my mind again unless I forced it. I don’t think I’ve had any form of crush on anyone for a long time.

One more thing that’s been plaguing me is just how tired I am all the fucking time, like tired all throughout the day even with a good sleep schedule, diet, and amount of exercise. I don’t know if this is part of whatever I have but it’s another concerning thing for sure.

I really hope someone can point me in the right direction, I’m just so sick of feeling this way, I just wanna feel like I did 5 years ago when I was genuinely happy.

[Sophie_M]

Hey TommyOliver,

First of all - Welcome!

Thank you for your openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others who understand what you’re going through. We can hear how difficult things have been for a while now. We are so glad that you have been able to write it all out, which is not an easy thing to do.

The numbness that you are describing can be a really awful feeling - but one that is not uncommon. Many members or our community will be able to relate to a lot of what you’ve been going through and be able to share some of the wisdoms that have helped them.

Another option is to book in an appointment with your GP to talk about what has been happening. There’s some advice on the Beyond Blue website to help you prepare for this, and have a really productive convers... if you are interested 🙂

In the meantime, if at any point you want to talk through what you’re feeling, we’d highly recommend calling the Beyond Blue Support Line on 1300 22 4636. The counsellors there are super kind and supportive, they’re understanding and can be good to talk to when things are tough. You can also reach them via Online Chat.  Thanks again for sharing. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else, too.

Kind regards, 
Sophie M 

[therising]

Hi TommyOliver

You sound so incredibly frustrated and disappointed which is completely understandable. Personally, I'm a gal who's a real feeler of emotion and when I'm not feeling it, for one reason or another, it's something that holds the potential to become depressing for me. I have to manage my energy levels for the sake of my mental health.

Something that I've come to discover over the years is...there can be a bit of a triad factor involved in how I feel. The 3 factors involve mind, body and what's natural or what some might call 'spirit'. To be highly spirited, able to experience a team spirit (intense connection with others) or even have a spirit of adventure points to the spirit factor being a natural thing most of us experience. If one of those aspects (mind/body/spirit) is off, it can throw the other 2 out. To offer an example...

If I have just enough energy in me to keep my body basically functioning, I'm going to feel that lack and pretty much nothing else. I could win a billion in lotto or meet the greatest most inspiring sage in the world but if I experience a depressing level of energy dysfunction like that which can be experienced with a severe B12 deficiency or serious sleep apnea (2 things I've experienced in the past), mentally I might also be impacted which will feel and appear as a lack of interest. Spirit wise I'm just not going to feel the feeling of inspiration in any way shape or form. If energy in motion or e-motion is lacking in the way of physical, mental and/or soulful, this is something we can definitely feel on the whole.

Blood tests are typically the easiest thing to see to first when it comes to some energy culprits. Getting a feel for what or who might be draining you might be something else to consider. An unusual thing to consider is - are you on the verge of going 'next level'. Kinda like basic excitement used to work pretty well but now you're on the verge of becoming someone who loves extreme excitement, like with extreme sports for example? Could it be a basic life, which used to generate a lot of happiness, just doesn't cut it anymore? How to come to life in new ways is definitely a massive challenge.