Exhausted

[ReeBecca]

I feel like I don't want to do life anymore. I just feel like I've had enough of myself and I just don't want to do it anymore. From the outside I have an amazing life..I am incredibly lucky and I know I am. I have a wonderful husband who seems to still adore me and 2 beautiful children. So why do I still feel like this? Why am I still going through the same thing over and over again? I have tried so many things...Im on medication which helps, I've tried therapy, exercise, eating better..I've even tried exploring my spirituality. What else can I do? I still wake up wanting to go right back to sleep again. I just long for the moment at the end of the day when I can climb into bed and fall asleep. I started a new job about a month ago and leading up to it it was so excited and motivated. I thought Finally I am back working full time since having the children, I will be busy and have a purpose and will feel like a contributing person of society. But to be honest, my job just requires me to sit at my desk all day with really very little to do I am embarrassed to say. I feel so useless..I feel out of place and it makes for a very long and drawn out day. I am struggling with the mundane routine that is getting up, rushing around like crazy trying to get myself and the kids ready before leaving the house, I am always running 10-20 minutes late..drive to school with arguing kids in the back. Drop them off. go to work. do not very much for 7 hours. pick the kids up. bath the kids. cook dinner. clean up. make sure there is clean clothes and lunches for tomorrow. go to bed finally. Alarm goes off and we do it all again until the weekend. then its cleaning the house. washing groceries and we're pretty much back to the beginning. In reality its all so normal and pretty perfect really, I knoe its not as bad as what it feels like at the time and if thats all I have to complain about..how lucky am I?! Why cant I learn to enjoy life for what it is. What is wrong with me? I am so consumed with my own self loathing and I cant snap out of it. I find it hard to be around people and can't even hold a proper conversation.

[Ewok]

Hi ReeBecca

I just recently stumbled across Energy Medicine by Donna Reed at a house sit I recently did. I was there for 4 weeks and practiced the tools on the CD every day. I have more energy now and can handle stress do much better. Like you I was going through the day to day stuff but not really engaged. My meridian lines weren't flowing right and actually many other of my lines needed work as well. It's made such a difference in my life.

After the first time of doing the exercises I had a smile on my face and I felt "high". I now incorporate it into my (mostly) daily yoga exercises.

Kinesiology is also something that has worked for me in the past. I'm not one for medication.

[Lollie45]

Oh ReeBecca,

know exactly what you're saying. It's hard. I actually find it harder now my kids are older because they don't rely on me so much. When they were younger it gave me focus and I only thought about them and their needs. A mistake. We always need to make time for our own needs. Time out for ourselves. I am a bit of a recluse too, don't go out of my way to be social but when I have to I have a good time but come home feeling empty. Hence why I'd rather just stay home.

don't give up. I'm having a bad time of it at the moment too but have already felt a bit better by just expressing myself on here and knowing that I'm not the only one who feels like I do.

[ReeBecca]

Thank you both for replying 🙂

Ewok thanks for that. I will have a look and see if I can find the Audio book of Energy Medicie. It is worth a try and I like listening to things like that.

Lollie I have to admit I actually do feel a bit better as well getting things off my chest on here and reading other posts 🙂

[Ewok]

Yeah this is the first time I've been brave enough to use something like this site! It's nice to get things out and to know you're not alone. The best part is the sharing, particulatly if others have had similar experiences.

I'm so glad I stumbled on it.

[Ewok]

Sorry I gave you the wrong name for the Energy Medicine... it was Donna Eden. My apologies.

[Little_K]

Hi ReeBecca,

how are you doing today?

i could have written this myself, add in an extra child and this is me. Everyday, week seem the same. As perfect as your life looks to the outsiders looking in, and even to you there is that little piece of you that can't be completely happy ( that's how it is with me)

not sure if it will help but I found that realising it's okay to be selfish sometimes and do something you want to do is OK! Even if it's sitting with a cuppa and a biscuit Whike the dirty washing lays on the floor and the dishes soak in the sink for another hour. You can't always be there for everyone else and not for yourself.

[Bailey13]

Hi ReeBecca,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you! If there is then there's something wrong with me, because you've pretty much described exactly how I feel (although throw in my husband's affair just to really make me feel good about myself).

I think as Mum's we get so consumed by everyone else's needs that we forget to take care of ourselves and for some reason we feel so guilty when we do that we give up trying. Sounds to me like you might be bored and need some time to focus on what interests and empowers you. Art, music, volunteering, sport, sewing/craft, online/tafe course?? Something with no pressure to earn money or entertain the kids, something to look forward to every week or whenever, something fulfilling just for you just because you want to and you deserve it.

If you're on facebook follow Constance Hall, she puts a funny spin on the trials and tribulations of being a woman and inspires you to embrace who you are without guilt or apology. She has just released a book if you like reading, which is what I'm currently treating myself to 🙂

Take care!