Don’t know what to do next - lifeline call

[DannyG]

Hi everyone i’d appreciate any advice on what to do. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was having panic attacks at work and was prescribed sedatives to help manage these. My GP has since stopped these as he says I can’t take them long term. So now my panic attacks are back. I’m afraid that I will be fired if I can’t stop them, but without the medication I can’t control the panic. I phoned life line crisis support today and I did not find them helpful. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do? Thank you.

[Tay100]

Hi DannyG

I'm sorry to hear that your panic attacks are back- that must be extra stressful for you, especially at work. It's good that you reached out, and it can be disappointing when we don't get the clarity we need. You could try the Beyond Blue Support Service provides advice and support via telephone 24/7 (just call 1300 22 4636), and the daily web chat (between 3pm–12am) and email (with a response provided within 24 hours). For more details, see this link https://www.beyondblue.org.au/about-us/contact-us.

You can use thread to keep us updated, if that is something you'd like too- how does that sound?

Tay100

[Sophie_M]

Hey DannyG,

Thanks for reaching out to the forums and keeping our community updated on how you've been going. We're so sorry to hear that you're experiencing panic attacks again, and feeling concerned about stopping your usual medication. We're glad to hear that you tried reaching out for some extra support, even if you didn't find it as helpful as you had hoped. We think it's really strong of you and so important that you have been so proactive in recognising you need some help and seeking it.

We always urge people like yourself not to be put off by one or even a couple of negative experiences, as counsellors with different skill sets, and even particular personalities, can meet your needs and expectations in different ways. We really do hope you continue to reach out, and if you haven't already, you might also like to talk these feelings through with the friendly counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636 who are also available to provide support and advice 24/7. Please do feel free to use these services as often as you need to talk through what's on your mind when it's feeling like too much to cope with.

Please also feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgemental space.

[DannyG]

Hi Tay100 thank you for replying:) I feel very lost and alone. I want to do something to help stop my panic but I don’t know what to do? I went to a psychiatrist and they suggested that I quit my job. That would stop the panic attacks but then I would have no income, wouldn’t be able to pay rent or bills so I think that would be more stressful! I have not had positive experiences before with employers and mental health and today I got an email from HR asking to see me. They didn’t say what it was about so I’m worried about that. I’ve been crying at work lately and I think my co-workers May have reported me to HR? I’d really like to keep posting here and reaching out for help.

[DannyG]

Hi Sophie_M thanks for taking the time to reply. I’d really like to keep posting here, I feel so alone and I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Rarra]

Hey Danny, have you asked your doctor about other medications? Maybe there is something else out there that that you could trial that could help you put some distance between you and the attacks. I've had only two attacks, and they were very jarring for me, so you must be exhausted.

Try not to panic about your HR meeting, I often cause myself all sorts of stress worrying about meetings I think will end badly for me. Even in my own workplace I will feel very small and insignificant sometimes, and occasionally have a little cry in the bathroom, but if I'm ever feeling like my depression is a little too heavy, I will take a couple of days off focusing on myself and allowing myself to feel, uninhibited. Maybe you could take some days off to focus on your health?

[DannyG]

Hi Rarra thanks so much for your post. I’ve asked my dr for alternative medications and I’ve tried a couple but I don’t feel any different when I take these? I really felt your comment about feeling small and insignificant and having to go and cry in the bathroom - that’s what happens to me also ! I’d love to take time off for my mental health I think it would really help. But I’m afraid that if I do that, then I will be giving my work place a reason to fire me. I don’t want them to say ‘ah this person is not coping, look at them taking time off, let’s get rid of them and get some one who can work every day’. I know that workplaces are not meant to fire people for mental health issues but in the real world it happens all the time - it’s happened to me before and it was one of the most awful experiences I have ever had.

[Rarra]

Sometimes medication is not the way. Do you ever practice mindfulness? Or breathing exercises? Maybe they could help calm you when you are feeling an attack coming on. I'm quite terrible at getting myself into a meditative state when it all gets too much because my thoughts just get out of control but I try to wake up in the morning and repeat one basic thing to myself to set my mind up for the day...

We cannot control other peoples reactions to us. We can only control our own responses.

In saying that, I understand that depression and anxiety can make us feel like we are not in control of our emotions. But if I keep this thought in focus throughout my day, it dulls the overthinking a little, stops me tearing myself down, and encourages me to move on from small things a lot quicker. My biggest trigger for an emotional downturn is unexpected negative interactions with people, which is often what makes me feel so small and insignificant, but I realise its the way I talk to myself after the event that is most destructive.

I think if you have to go to work, you should try and get yourself in the right headspace beforehand to be fair to yourself. Its absolutely soul crushing to sit in a negative mindset all day in a place you don't want to be. Again, in saying this I know how hard it can be when you feel not in control, and I think pressuring yourself to be confident and positive can be exhausting, but to try and train yourself to be okay about people and events around you out of your control, and give yourself a break, is realistic.

I understand workplaces are not always beneficial to our mental health, and I'm sorry they have made you feel unsupported. Perhaps if you are feeling up to it, you could apply for some other jobs you think you might enjoy? Maybe even just having a look around to see whats out there, I know it feels like this is a tough year for that kind of thing but you might find something that will suit you better and make you feel more comfortable about going to work. Although I'm sure you are a valuable member of your workplace without knowing it, it doesn't seem like a place you are comfortable with.

[Tay100]

Hi DannyG

You are more than welcome to keep posting, we are here to listen and help and provide general support to you along the journey. Could you seek a second opinion about what the psychiatrist said about your job? How did the meeting with HR go? We could help navigate you to some advocacy resources if you need.

Sending kindness,

Tay100

[DannyG]

Hi Tay thank you for asking - appointment with HR was a bit of a disaster. They want me to sign a form giving consent to access my medical records? This seems like a red flag to me? I asked my union rep what I should do, they advised me not to sign it. But then my boss was upset with me that I didn’t want to sign? Started crying at my desk again. So very scared of losing my job, not sure how to proceed.