Does talking about depression actually help?

[emd2]

I'm reaching out because I have been depressed for a long time and haven't been able to make changes to get out of it. My depression stems from financial pressures and the toll that is putting on my family. The financial situation is getting worse and I'm wanting to change my thinking to help change how I approach my work and make it more successful. I feel like by keeping focusing on the negative I can't see a way out. I have little so motivation do what's necessary even though I have things I could do to help. My thinking is very clouded with the stress of it so finding it very hard to make good decisions. My husband has lost his patience with the way I'm thinking and wants me to get help. I can't afford to go to a therapist right now. I tried earlier in the year but felt it was a waste of time. I guess I want to know if it's possible to fix depression and how long it takes, I don't have years. What are some good strategies to change to more positive thinking that people have tried when the problem they are facing seems beyond fixing?

[Soberlicious96]

Dear emd2,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and well done for reaching out.

You said, in one part of your post "even though I have things I could do to help" which says to me that you have at least some sort of awareness that change is most certainly possible and that it can come from within, yeah? That you do in fact want to change the way you think, just not with a therapist, yeah?

Well, I'd like to tell you a little about my own thinking style 'back then' compared to now, and what helped me, and in fact still helps me, to think more positively. When I say 'back then' I am referring to my drinking days - hence the username of 'Soberlicious'! Anyway, I used to often think that my life would never improve, I would be broke forever, and become a lonely, sad old lady. But when I got sober, people said to me that if I wanted to get well, I would have to learn to 'reset' my mind. Every time I went to the negative, I was reminded to do a few things to help turn my thinking around.

1) Make a Gratitude list. Take note of what I DID or DO have, rather than what I didn't. And remembering that as long as I have food in my tum, clothes on my back, and shelter to reside in, is a fine start.

2) Replace every 'what if' thought, with a 'what IS' thought. In other words, there is no point panicking about a fire, if there is no sign of smoke, heat or fuel.

3) You may or may not want to know about this next one; but Patience is the key. A change of habit can be achieved in a relatively short space of time, and can be maintained long term if it is practiced daily. If you do want to change your thinking, then the H O W (Honesty, Open-mindedness and Willingness) of it is how it's done. Or at least, that's what I was taught anyway.

4) It was suggested that I put down my 'self-beating' stick. In other words, there was no point to beating myself up today for the things that I did yesterday. Because today, and every day from here on in, was (and still is) an opportunity to be a better person than I was yesterday. Plus, the fact that I was no longer doing the things that made me hate myself in the first place, meant that I was already on my way to becoming well again.

Anyway, I don't know if that helps or not. I do hope it helps a little?

In the meantime, you can keep coming back here as much and as often as you like. Take care. I'll be thinking of you. xo