Hello Amyyyyyy & welcome here.
It's not easy to step out of the 'comfort zone', even one that doesn't feel comfortable. As you say, you are used to feeling sad. It's what you know. So, when you have a day or week of feeling happy, it feels weird, it's confusing & you don't know how to accept it.
I'd like you ask yourself what is scary about being happy. On your own, if you like, or post here - that's okay, too, I'd like you to begin to answer the question: what is so scary about being happy? Why is my happiness so fearful? What's going to happen if I'm happy for a while? Write whatever comes to mind. No-one will judge you here, & on your own, no-one even needs to know what you write. If you struggle to start writing, just sit a bit, eyes closed maybe, & listen for the small voice inside, & when you hear something, write what you hear.
Then, you can ask yourself, what happens if I let myself feel afraid? Can I sit & feel afraid?
Also, when you feel happy, what will happen if you let yourself feel happy?
This may take some effort, but I'm sure, with some practice, you will begin to enjoy feeling happy sometimes. I'm not saying you'll never feel afraid, or will feel happy all the time - no-one feels happy ALL the the time.
& don't forget, when you feel happy, share the feeling with others. Smiles are easy to share. You can even practice that in a mirror.
I hope this helps you. Please feel free to talk here again.
Hugzies
mmMekitty
