Does anyone else have trouble verbalising their feelings?

[Draconhart]

I'm suffering from depression and anxiety. But I have trouble expressing how or what I feel. I can't even write it down. Does anyone else experience this? Any suggestions on how to get past it? Thanks

[Chris_B]

Hi Draconhart, I do experience depression and anxiety, but usually it's difficult to shut me up 🙂 .

However, there is a type of therapy known as Interactive Drawing Therapy (IDT) that is used for treatment of depression and anxiety: http://interactivedrawingtherapy.com/

If you've previously been shy about seeing a counsellor or psychologist because you don't think you can express your feelings in words, then finding a therapist who uses this form of therapy might be a good place to start.

Anyone else have ideas?

best
CB

__________________________________________________________________
Online Community Manager

[Pixie15]

Hi Draconhart,

I suffer some anxiety and have the potential to spiral into depression. I have recently undertaken CBT to help sort out some coping tools. When I started the therapy I was really out of touch with my emotions. I was asked "How are you feeling today?" and my response "Good thank you" which is my standard answer but the mind was a total blank. It was very excruciating. Luckily for me I had a chart of facial expressions in my possession from a course I had undertaken previously. Seeing the expressions helped me to connect with what I was feeling more. You might find something like that helpful. Best wishes, Mulberry.

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Draconhart,

I am guilty of having good communication but I think there is a way for shy or insecure sufferers like yourself to get around this.

Basically, you have to promote the verbalisation with a physical activity.   For ex in  the movie "Dead Poets Society" with Robin Williams as an English Teacher he does some bizarre things to promote expression.   The one I really love is where each student recites ONE phrase from Shakespeare (the lesson is on the game fields) and then kicks the soccer ball into the goal with a lot of force.  It's a 90's movie and there is a bit of mental health coverage with one of the class members.

If you  haven't got a soccer ball just try walking around your yard or street.   There's a natural rhythm you get into called the Iambic Pentameter as your body is fully involved in this release and sway of moving.  Once you get the full 1, 2 (left, right)  happening smoothly it is relatively easy to say something within the walking pattern.  Even if it's just swearing.   There is less fear to talk as your mind is working hard on the walking.  And you know how to walk - it's been done a million times.  Eventually your will find that chatting whilst strolling is good too.  The mind seems to be free and easy in this situation.  There is no cramped corner.  Great thinkers often walk to get their ideas out.

Even in the more recent movie "The Kings Speech" there is a total block when the King (Colin Firth) has to learn to speak fluently (when he takes the Crown) and he is impeded by a bad stutter too.   One of the break through things the speech therapist (Geoffrey Rush) does is to make the King do a speech whilst wearing headphones linked to classical music.  His brain is given more ability with the masking music and later on, when he plays this record of the speech (after swearing and escaping the class because he thinks he is useless and nothing will help), he is surprised to hear a perfect speech with none of his usual stutter.   The brain can do anything when you give it a chance.

The other explaination might be that you currently feel nothing so saying nothing makes perfect sense.  Try an experiment.  Drop a can of beans on your left foot.   See if you verbal skills allow you a short "Ow !".   It's not possible to remain un-communicative - even your body language tells a very clear story.

Your thread is 6 sentences.   You expressed how you felt in 6 sentences.   The skill you demonstrated in this short thread is the same skill in writing a thread with 60 sentences or 600.    I've read some of your other posts and you have good ability to reason and express yourself.  Maybe you fear being laughed at.  Whatever it is you can probably talk to someone eventually.  We all have a story to tell.

Timing is important too - maybe you're just not ready yet.  Still brewing.

Adios, David.

[geoff]

dear Draconhart, yes that's real problem, as it's much easier to write down comments here, as there is no pressure, but once you are facing your psych. we become tongue-tired.

Like when I saw my new psychologist last week, the first thing he said to me was 'how can I help you', well that's a million dollar question, where the hell do you start, OCD, divorce, suicide attempts, depression, social anxiety and the list goes on.

So what happened was I jumped from one topic to another, because what I had just said reminded me of something else, so he was trying to take notes, not short hand either, so I felt as though he was going to throw all his notes in the air, then start pulling his hair out and leave the room screaming, 'where's my shrink'.

How about by just writing a word or two down, rather than the whole story, these words will then prompt you into an exclamation of what's been happening.

Another thought is to record your own conversation and then take this in to the session. Geoff.

[David123]

For me not knowing what I felt was a symptom of codependancy. One simple definition of this was all of my value was tied up in my relationships.  So when the relationship was threatened, so was I.  When the relationship died, I felt like dying.  As to what to do there are books and web articles and your pyscologist could help you if they agree with this diagnosis.  Key issue is building self esteem.

 I am doing much better now, gradually building self esteem and in a new relationship.

- David

[Nakka]

I think that many people will be able to relate, including myself, I am yet to open up to anyone whatsoever. this site is my own personal form of taking and its the best thing I have ever found.

I cannot open up to anyone and have never been able too ever since I remember, something Ideveloped iin childhood. I have a giant wall and because if this I struggle understanding "emotions" "feelings" they confuse and frustrate me, be that my own or someone elses.

Ithink about talking to people, but I will always down play it if I do. Simple questions such as "are you okay or how are you" will always be "yeah im fine thanks" or "whats wrong? " is a snappy "nothing! Im sweet as"

Talking to someone personally makes me feel weak and guilty... its strange... However this site is helping me learn to retrain myself and is a great help and step. II'm sure if you continue on here you will recieve the benefits also.

Just realised im bleeting on, so ill leave it at that.

But here for you too talk too, as are all these other amazing people commenting. 

Best of luck,

Nakka

[oneblackdog]

G'day D

I often become blank and frozen over when trying to express myself, which of course builds more emotion that can't get out....and so the spiral goes. I am often able to talk/express myself while doing something physical (fortunately my job is physical, and solitary so no-one hears the screaming), but go blank again when sitting in a chair at the doctors or in-front of the computer, or with the wife...

Many years ago, when I was a high school teacher, I came across the wisdom that this inability to talk/think/express was a male thing and could be helped with movement, particularly walking (I'm not fit enough to run, but it probably helps too. I want to try swimming for the full body workout but imagine the talking wouldn't flow).

It was also pointed out to me that I have a lot of Aspergers traits, including being easily overloaded emotionally which results in the brain just shutting down, while the agitation builds; again the release is movement, and time, time to process (a lot more time than my wife thinks is really needed....)

I want to writing while moving but are not calm enough yet, may be I could just speak into a recorder and transcribe later? How about you try it for me...LOL

OBD