Depression Relapse

[JustMeOverHere]

Hello everyone,

I have been dealing with depression since I was 11 or younger. I have severe anxiety, severe emetophobia, depression, and im an unstable and stressed first year uni student. But in all seriousness, I have maintained my strong persona and will for the better of my family as I am the only out of 3 kids that suffers bad mental illness and they are unsure of how to help or are uncomfortable about the subject and don't understand. I live away from home at my uni campus but travel home every 2 weeks as I get majorly home sick within a day. My friends don't really understand me either and tend to just say "yeah that sucks" to everything. I was great for a while during last term but began a relapse and i was praying it was not a full relapse but with the way I feel more recently, I knowit's here for a while. I just really want someone out there to say they know how I feel and that they understand that I need to cry 20 times a day, embarrassingly enough in public sometimes as it's too hard to keep together. I can't begin to think of suicide as my parents have spent all this effort on me and my mum's having a hard enough time with her family side that losing a child especially to mental illness would not be fair. So here I am, perservering, just trying to stay sane enough to survive enough to live.

Thanks for reading

[Zeal]

Hi, and welcome to the forum,

You have been dealing with depression for a long period - that's tough. Have you seen a professional in the past about your mental health? It concerns me that you feel as though you need to keep your worries inside you so that your family are not involved. I'm glad you value your family and their wellbeing. However, it is certainly okay to ask for help and talk to family about your situation. In my family of four, it is only me who suffers from mental illness. It took quite some time for my Dad to somewhat understand me. My Mum has been the most support over the years.

I am 23 by the way, I'm in my final semester of undergrad study, and still live at home. I was diagnosed with OCD at 13, had mild depression in my early teens and an atypical eating disorder at 19 (tough on my family, but that was unavoidable). I have also had an intense phobia of vomit since primary school. Even though emetophobia is the proper term, I have never used it. This phobia is so frustrating, and I'm sorry to hear you also suffer from it.

Living away from home while dealing with comorbid mental illnesses must be incredibly challenging for you. It is really important that you seek professional help for the mental illnesses you are suffering from. You deserve to have support. Seeing your doctor (GP) is important. They can refer you to someone who will give you personalised help. You could visit your university counselling service too, as this should be free or low-cost for students.

I can relate to your severe anxiety and the fear and frustration of emetophobia. You are definitely not alone. Others here on the forum will also be able to relate to you, whether a little or a lot. While seeing your GP is essential, you can also get emotional support at any time of day or night from ringing helplines. Beyondblue can be reached on 1300 22 4636 and Lifeline on 13 11 14.

I hope something I've said has been helpful 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[1618_hkm]

Hi there 🙂

Great work on perservering! You're on the right path by reminding yourself of your Mum. Even thought she may misunderstand, you might find that she is already helping you - subconsciously. She sounds like an important person in your life, and definitely someone worth sticking around for.

To be honest, I share some of your experiences. I get anxious at times, depressed too. An important thing to try to achieve is kicking little goals. Tiny ones, even. Something to divert your focus momentarily, perhaps something creative. The trick will be making them rapidly or immediately achievable.

I know how you feel, and I get the crying thing. Having people understand the views, thoughts, or concerns of one who has depression or anxiety is incredibly tough. And it really is frustrating at how those without them disregard, intentionally or otherwise, an attempt to reach out and seek comfort.

Congratulations on opening up, and your first post. Two goals worthy of being proud of. Keep kicking those goals - you're not alone, and your definitely important.

[JustMeOverHere]

Thank you for your reply it's nice to know i'm not alone. I have been to therapy previously but found that they knew little about what depression actually felt like and could therefore, not help me much. I'm on medication but have recently switched (last week) to a new one as my last was becoming uneffective as I had been on it for a while.

[gibby3794]

Thankyou for posting, you are deffinately not alone in the needing to cry 20 times a day, at the moment i am the same the last 2 weeks i have been breaking down and crying at work, in the car at home, basically any time i cant hold it back any longer, im sorry i dont have any advice but i cant give advice for others when i cant help myself yet, but atleast you know your not alone