Does it ever go away

helpsince07 · ‎20-09-2016

Ive been depressed for almost 10 years now and its just so debilitating and exhausting. Some days and even weeks i'll feel good then it'll just hit me like a freight train I wont eat, I wont leave bed, I somehow manage to get up for work because its my only distraction.
Part of me wants to get help but I wouldnt know what to say or where to start and feel like id just be wasting their time with my sob stories.
My partner tells me I should see someone and to just snap out of it but its never that easy is it, and I feel that it puts such a strain on our relationship and I have to try and force myself to be happy sometimes, but most of the time I just wanna lay down in bed and cry until I fall asleep. Even now I feel awful typing this feeling like im wasting your time but this is the first time ive ever written my thoughts down and what comes to mind, thankfully ive never been suicidal but just over the feeling of darkness and misery that I feel all the time....:(

Zeal · ‎20-09-2016

Hi helpsince07,

Welcome to the forum!

You are definitely not wasting our time at all. This forum is here for people to seek support and ask questions. Getting professional help from your doctor (GP) is very important. Your partner was wise to suggest getting help. However, it is unhelpful when people say things like 'snap out of it', as depression is an illness, and not a passing state of mind or attitude.

Reading the fact sheets on this site about depression would be advisable for your partner. Resources relevant for both you and your partner are on the blue menu bar under The facts, depression. Your partner may also benefit from reading the first link under Supporting someone.

The sooner you seek help from your GP, the better

Remember that you can call beyondblue's 24/7 helpline as well on 1300 22 4636. It doesn't have to be an emergency - you can talk about how you're feeling generally or for information on mental health.

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

SM

Chris87 · ‎20-09-2016

Helpsince07, you didn't give too much information in your thread. From your post it is obvious you aren't in the best frame of mind. So what are the problems? Now, that sounds quite blunt and oversimplified, but really it isn't. You didn't give much of a history, which is extremely important in figuring out why you are depressed. You said ten years? What happened ten years ago? There is also a cause to your depression. You say it hits you like a freight train. This is very important. If it hits you that quick then it is most likely something acute in origin, what I mean is, a trigger. You mentioned 'Sob stories,' so I automatically think something you didn't want to happen has happened, possibly several times? These could be causes for your depression, but I am only assuming because you didn't provide much of a history. A key thing here is that you said you lie in bed and cry yourself to sleep. What are you crying about? Some people say they lay in bed crying because they are sick of being depressed. But the depression doesn't just come from thin air. Are you anxious about anything? Personally my depression came from intense anxiety about certain things. I believe most things come from fear. Ask yourself, 'What am I afraid of?' You know those things that you don't tell people or you don't even want to acknowledge in yourself, they are the things you need to come to terms with. Telling someone on an open forum may be helpful, it may not. I was always scared of how people perceived me, a lot of other things too, but that was a big one.

Morgz · ‎07-10-2016

Hello, first of all I want to let you know that you're so brave for your post! And you aren't wasting anyone's time, there is always time. Australians have always been told get over it, snap out of it just get on with it- it's not helpful obviously and creates the overwhelming guilt that feeds the darkness that is depression.

does depression ever end or go away? I had depression for 4 years and was suicidal every day. It was a battle- and I conceded. I didn't get help until it was almost too late- I regret that. I wish I got help a lot earlier, I tried reaching out to my boyfriend at the time and he also said get on with it and told me to stop being woe is me and told me I was an attention seeker, I think that hurt the most that the first time I reached out I was rejected and told I was a pessimist. Our relationship ended over it- and I'm glad because when I needed help and asked for it it wasnt given, so I asked a professional- I swallowed my pride and got help and I feel as though I'm like free, it's gone, the guilt, the embarrassment the weight wasn't all on me it was shifted off and it was the start of something better and hopeful.

i recognised the bad thought triggers and to literally flush them out with good thoughts, even little things like looking in the mirror and telling yourself you're beautiful or that you have great eyes and play it up and believe it, re training your mind to be positive was a great help. You have to knowledge the darkness for the light to come in.

There maybe always darkness but there will also be light, and as stupid and cliche as it is it's the truth.

dont stay strong, don't just have hope, when it's to much to hold onto shift it off and get help, getting help is the only happy ending. Also Talk about it even to yourself infront of a mirror get what you want out, say it out loud to your dog/cat, i hope my reply helps you or anyone that reads.

geoff · ‎07-10-2016

hello, to answer your question first of all is that once you have depression it's always still with you, and in saying that it doesn't mean that you can't enjoy your life, but there is a possibility of having relapses, which can occur a number of times depending on your situation.
There is a big difference between your b/friend saying that you should see someone to then saying 'to snap out of it' because the first one means that he is caring for you, while the latter only means that he's sick of seeing you this way, but the latter one would make you feel as though he doesn't want you any more to be like this, so of course it's making you confused.
There is only a certain period of time where you can pretend to make yourself happy, because then it becomes so tiring, and that's when you guard is dropped and you don't care any more.
Please remember that you are not wasting our time, that's what this site is for, so never feel that way, and before you go and see a psychologist write down on a piece of paper what and why you are feeling this way,this will make the first appointment much easier for you, but from I can see is that your b/friend is not going to be much help to you at the moment, because any type of sarcasm to you being depressed is not going to help you, it will only make you go deeper and deeper into a cave where you won't want to come out of.
I don't know how strong your relationship is, but you need support, 10 years is far too long to have to suffer by yourself, and you now you have to realise that unless you get help starting with your doctor then your journey will continue on being depressed.
We don't want that to happen because we have been through it ourselves and know that it is pure punishment, so we really hope to hear back from you. Geoff.