Depression or just lazy?

[charliec]

hi there just wanting some advice.

In January I stopped taking my anti depressants, due to not having a job and couldn't afford the script. I think I've felt fine since I stopped them, lost 10kg even! (without exercise, just from stopping the tablets) However, lately I've been feeling so very unmotivated to do anything at all. I'm not sure if it's laziness or depression. My husband and I are moving interstate in 3 weeks, and seriously I cant get the motivation to do any of the cleaning that needs to be done, let alone the rest of the packing. We're visiting family for a week around xmas, so we've only got 2 weeks to finish it all.

I've been feeling pretty stressed about the move, we're moving because there's no work here for me, (my husband is on disability pension) and when we get to QLD, we're staying with my mum, until we can find a place to rent. Once we find a place to rent, we have to buy things to get us through, as we can't afford to get removalists to deliver our stuff. (it's going to be in storage in SA) I just want to lay in bed and forget the world! I've even stopped contacting friends (via text/phone - as I know no one here), I just don't have the energy. I sleep till lunch time, can't get to sleep till early hours of the morning usually.

Depression? or just lazy

[melanieh]

Hi Charliec

We get into this thing!!!  and it becomes a part of us!!!   like a bad habit...  basically one has to drrrraaaaaggggg oneself out of the house everyday and I mean everyday... and get moving...   it will stimulate your body and brain into gear mode...   don't forget the deep breaths to get rid of the horrible feelings coming and going....    Yes I know you won't feel like it but its the only way   I'm not into antidepressants I retrained my brain into thinking different to what it wanted me to do...  I got onto some multivitamins also B12 B6  also an iron tonic...   yeah sometimes our bodies are just worn out tired just like when we have a traumatic incident in our life so a lot of us slip into depression quickly without even realizing it...

You will find you will slip but get up get moving and keep moving on...   each day little by little you will get better believe me and then everything else will get better

The black dog hit me with a thud but I had to get up and get better we owe it to ourselves 

xoxo

[JessF]

Hello charlie, you have a lot on your plate at the moment! It does sound like things might be getting on top of you a bit, but that is no wonder. I think we have to remember sometimes that when things get stressful, it's actually quite normal to feel stressed and overwhelmed.

It sounds like as well as the financial stresses, you're feeling disconnected because you don't have friends where you are. Perhaps rather than looking at how you're feeling as this big overwhelming lump of a thing called 'depression' (its not laziness!), then break it down into the individual things that are causing you stress right now and start thinking about what you can do to work through them.  How does that sound?

[Neil_1]

Hi Charlie

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for providing your post.

Firstly let me say that I don’t think you’re lazy.  You were on anti-depressants before – I’m taking a wild guess here, but I’m guessing because you were diagnosed with depression.  Sorry, me just being a bit silly.   I would say that through this year things would have been building up again for you – with all the issues that you’ve got coming up – building and building and now I think it’s got to the stage where it’s getting just so hard to face it all.

Moving house is a very stressful occasion even when we’re doing “ok”.  But you’re not just moving house, you’re moving state – and though you’ll be staying with your Mum, you still aren’t moving to a new place of your own.  Plus you’ve got all the other issues of trying to find work, trying to find somewhere to live and so much more – and I’ll only briefly touch on what’s happening almost this time next week.

Is your husband able to dig in big time in the next little while and give you as much assistance as possible??   Still two weeks to go for packing and cleaning – is it possible to break it down bit by bit, so it doesn’t appear to daunting?   Even less than room by room – but say, wardrobe by wardrobe;  or bookcase by bookcase;   and just target those for a little while;  bit by bit;  wrapping plates and glasses in paper, etc.  Bit by bit – but have a plan to have regular breaks – out of the house if you can.

I haven’t mentioned getting back to your GP – as if you’re not in a job, the finances would be tight.

Just some suggestions – but please write back again and I hope others come here to give you other suggestions.

Neil

[Zeal]

Hi Charlie,

What you have described is definitely not laziness; you are overwhelmed and stressed by all these changes in your life. I had mild depression during my teen years, and know how difficult it can be to have motivation. As I had a lot less responsibility during the time I was depressed, I can appreciate how difficult your situation is: you have a husband to care for, a new job to start interstate, packing and cleaning to do, followed by moving to Qld. Don't feel guilty about not being more proactive about moving. I would be overwhelmed by all those changes too, and I don't have depression anymore.  

Going off your antidepressants could be having quite an effect on you, especially if you stopped taking them abruptly without your doctor's advice. When I skipped my antidepressant medication for one day by accident, I felt anxious for days afterwards. I recommend talking to a doctor about your depression, and asking if medication is essential. If medication is highly recommended, then try spending less in another area of your life in order to pay for your antidepressants. For instance, because alcohol can negatively affect how antidepressants work in your body, try reducing, or even better, not spending money on alcohol. If like me you don't drink alcohol, then this advice is useless! I'm sure you get the idea though. Sorry if this sounds blatantly obvious, but sometimes it can be hard for an individual to see things that others can.

Good luck with moving to Queensland! It is great that you can stay with your Mum for a while; that will be a great help 🙂

[Magyarok]

Hello Charliec,

It's definitely not laziness you have alot going on in your life at the moment with some major stressors which appear to have overwhelmed you.  So laziness - no Overwhelmed - more likely!

I can appreciate what you are going through because i am going through something very similar.  When we have so much to deal with it is easy to feel overwhelmed and we feel helpless as to what to do and where to start and this leads to procrastination, leading to feelings of guilt and depression and lack of motivation which leads back to feeling overwhelmed and it goes around like a cycle.

Have you spoken to your husband about your concerns?  Are there others you can talk to for support and to provide help?

I know its difficult but maybe try and break things down into more manageable pieces and see how you get on - don't look at the picture as a whole.  Thinking of you and wishing you the best.  Sorry i can't offer more

Kind Regards

Dave 

[charliec]

wow thank you all for your kind words of support.

I have bitten the bullet and have made a doctors appt for Friday. I just realised today that now that I have a health care card (I didn't have one in Jan) I can get medication for $6, so I'm not worried about having to afford $6. (the price I paid without the health care card was $36)

My husband is my rock. We've only been married since October, but he is very supportive.

I will try to take things one thing at a time.

I stress a lot and do get anxious.

We've had a bit of a stressful year - planning a wedding for one! And me not coping living here. But luckily we worked through it, I was ready to get in my car back in June and drive back home to QLD.

I just hope I can find a job once we get to QLD, find a place, hope that my husband will like living there, hope we won't struggle financially etc

[Neil_1]

Hi Charlie

Thank you so much for your latest reply;  and great news to hear about your health care card.  I really hope that your doctor’s appointment is very helpful and beneficial for you.

Also, congratulations on your very recent marriage.  J

I guess in the meantime, you can be possibly sussing out the jobs market in Queensland, so you’ve got a bit of an idea of what’s going on – the internet can be a wonderful tool.

And above all else, if you have any other issues or things you’d like to raise – you know we’re always here.

Please take care;

Neil

[Magyarok]

Hi Charlie,

That's great that you have booked an appointment with your doctor, i hope that goes well and good to hear about your health care card.

What you have gone through recently would be stressful for anyone regardless of their susceptibility to depression and/or anxiety. 

Also congratulations on your recent marriage - that's awesome!  That's great that he is supportive.  Continue to keep your lines of communication open with him and remember to break things down into more manageable sizes and take one thing at a time.

What line of work are you in?  I wish you and your hubby the very best for QLD.

Take care

Dave 🙂