Depression is getting worse.

[Cait333]

I'm not sure what happened but my depression and anxiety have never been this bad and I don't see it getting any better. I honestly feel I am beyond all help and just want it to end now. Every time I reach out for help I'm met with "don't worry, things will get better" and "have you tried taking up a hobby?" like... seriously? I feel like my world is coming to an end and the best advice I get is to take up knitting? I never feel like what I am going through is treated as an adult situation, rather I get professionals and others talking to me about my mental illness like I'm a five-year-old. I did have one doctor who after I repeatedly told him that I was miserable, put me on anti-depressants but he moved away and the area that I live in to pretty remote so when I got a new doctor, she wasn't keen on me continuing with the medication but to be honest the medication or the amount that I was on made little difference anyway. I am constantly being handed around to different teams of mental health/community workers, doctors, counselors, therapists, like I'm just being handed off to different people saying "here, she's your problem now" This is hell.

[Petal22]

Hi Cait333,

Im so sorry you haven’t been able to have one health professional to help you……. With yours self living in a small remote area I understand you wouldn’t have a range of health professionals is there a chance that you could make an appointment to in a city to see someone for a diagnosis….. that’s great that you have asked to see a psychiatrist will you be seeing a psychiatrist soon?

Im so sorry to hear of your physical symptoms this must be so hard…….

I was reading your reply to theresing in regards to your cleaning and why you do this………. I also had things I felt I had to do or someone close to me would die………. This was incredibly exhausting… I was stuck in a vicious OCD cycle…….. I would have these intrusive thoughts then I would have incredibly severe anxiety to go with the intrusive thoughts I would perform the compulsion eg…. Checking things, mentally saying things I would do this to bring my anxiety down………. It would come down but not for long the cycle would start again………. I was always in a heightened anxiety state… I’d have panic attacks and just not feel myself….

I did metacognitive therapy at a clinic that specialised in OCD….. we were taught how to recognise what our cycle was and when we were getting caught up in it and then how to disengage from it……… this took practice but once you master it it’s life changing your anxiety dramatically drops because you aren’t getting further into the vicious OCD cycle…..

A phyciatrist can diagnose this disorder……. When you see one please mention the thoughts you are having and why you feel you have to clean eg…. Some one will die if you don’t………

This disorder is very treatable……. And you can recover from it……

Thankyou so much for your kind words for my recovery 😊

please ask me any questions and I’m here to chat to you…

[therising]

Hi Cait

If there's one thing I wish they'd cover a heck of a lot more in mental health it's imagination. This topic gets nowhere near enough attention. How does it work? Where does it come from? What's it there for/what purpose does it serve? What triggers it? How does it influence our perspective/reality, our chemistry and our life in general?

When I speak of imagination, I'm not talking about the kind of imagination that triggers a child's mind. The type I'm talking about is serious life altering stuff. I'll pick 2 significant people in history so you know where I'm coming from. The 1st involves a brilliant and inspiring man whose sense of wonder and imagination changed the world in positive ways. Martin Luther King Jr was a man who imagined a world where African American's sat anywhere they liked on a bus, not down the back. He imagined a time where they would be swimming in public pools with white people, something they could not do at the time. He imagined the kind of equal rights and liberation that fed the souls of those who'd suffered through oppression for centuries. What he imagined, he expressed through his 'I had a dream' speech which inspired millions. Some called him crazy yet we see the results of his imagination today. For him, what he imagined was so clear, so vivid, he could not dismiss it and was therefor driven by it.

The other I speak of imagined horrific things. He imagined a world where he ruled and no one else. He imagined what it would take to annihilate millions of people in a short period of time, in the most effective way. He imagined an army of people who would bring his vision to life. And if he had trouble imagining what it would take to bring his vision to life, he employed others to help him imagine. From one man's imagination (Adolf Hitler), there was incredible unspeakable levels of suffering.

The imagery that plays out in our heads can be incredibly powerful in so many ways. Often, I've asked myself why the power of such imagery or imagination is not more deeply addressed. The personal sufferance it causes can be overwhelming. I understand your compulsion to clean. I wish I had the ability to help you change what you imagine so you would feel free to choose what comes to mind for you.