Depression and feeling tired, no one seems to understand

[Marcus78]

Hi everyone,

   So I will try to be as brief as possible. I am suffering from depression. I have felt this way for the last 15 years. I never really addressed it until 3 years ago after a very mentally abusive relationship. I guess that was the catalyst. I have seen a psychologist and a psychotherapist and I am on an anti-depressant. I still have bad days but I have come a long way in the last 3 years.

I find it very hard to control my sleeping patterns. For instance, yesterday I was in bed at 12am, turned my alarm off whilst half a sleep, slept through the other 3 alarms I have set, and wake up 16hrs later. Other nights I may only sleep for 4-5hrs. No matter what, I feel tired. I lack energy during the day, and I find it hard to even get the energy to exercise. I have read that depression may cause tiredness. And my psychologist says the same. People seem to think that I am just making an excuse for being so tired, and that it is my lifestyle which is causing the issue. But I think it is the depression myself. I am not trying to make an excuse. But it is what it is. Is it normal for people to think like this? It makes it so much harder at times.

[White_Rose]

Hello Marcus

Welcome to Beyond Blue.

Yes it is often the case that people with depression feel constantly tired. I think there are several reasons.

1. It gets to be a habit to sleep to avoid the pain and discomfort of depression.

2. The medication you are taking can contribute to your tiredness. It would be worthwhile discussing this with your prescribing doctor.

3. Depression itself is exhausting. It uses up so much of your emotional energy which is reflected in your lack of physical energy.

Physical activity can actual help to re-energise you and also help in managing your depression. Exercise releases hormones into the body and brain and help to counteract the depression. It would be great if we could exercise our way out of depression but it is not that good.

But if you could summon up the motivation to go for a 20 minute walk each day you would find it hugely beneficial. Well any exercise would do really . Even sitting outside in your garden with a book and/or cuppa has a good effect on you (and of course is less work).

It's unfortunate that other people make these kinds of judgements about you when they clearly have no idea what or how depression does. And there's not a lot you can do about that. It really is not worthwhile getting into a whole heap of discussions on the subject because this wasting your own emotional energy. Try, if you can, to ignore these folk.

Not sure what you mean by your lifestyle. Perhaps you could be a little more explicit?

I would love to talk more with you and I hope you reply.

Mary

[Marcus78]

Hi Mary,

  Thank you for the kind words. In terms of lifestyle, I am a social gamer. I play with friends 3 or 4 times a week, and I find it really good for helping with depression. We often just talk online half of the time. These are people I know in real life as well. I play until around 11pm, then go to bed and read a book or listen to music. Then try to sleep.

I do try to get out and about for 1 or 2 days a week with friends. I only work the weekends at the moment, as I can only cope with 2 days. At the moment I am lifting weights, but I can only handle 1 or 2 sessions a week. I am not trying to be the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, so it is not a heavy routine. I may have to try walking as an alternative. I have put on some weight as eating can sometimes be a coping mechanism, especially McDonald's.

 Mostly family and some friends don't seem to understand my tiredness. My family is the main culprit here, and even though my family has a history of depression, I thought they would understand. I am not even trying to complain, rather trying to tell them what is what. But I often get told that it is my lifestyle of sleeping in and going to bed late that is causing my issues.  But the thing is, I am like this even when I work 5 days a week. I was often late or calling in ill in the past. I did try going off my medication for 2 months (with my doctor's advice of course) to see if this was causing my sleeping problem, but it really did not change anything. I did have to go back on them though to help me control all of the negative thoughts.

 I am in a much better frame of mind due to seeking help. But you do get the occasional bad days. Even then during my good days I am still trying to keep control of the thoughts. Everything from my place in life, to my ex girlfriend, to whether I think I am worth anything. I can over come this most times, but yeah it does seem to drain me.

[geoff]

dear Marcus, welcome to the site and thanks for posting your comment.

Well Mary has explained it very well, but can I add to her comments just as a PS (post script) is that we tend to think in a deep way, if this makes any sense, which also makes us tired.

I'm not quiet sure that stopping your medication for a couple of months was a good idea, not that I'm qualified to say, maybe he/she could have cut down the dose, because personally I would prefer taking the medication if it is working and being tired, rather than not taking it and being depressed. Geoff.

[Marcus78]

Hi Geoff,

 Thank you for your input, it all helps. I did have to go back onto the medication to help cope. I do tend to think a fair bit. Constantly questioning everything and sorting it out.

[Beltane]

Yep, the tiredness is an extremely common symptoms of depression- infact i beliee its one of the symptoms used to diagnose it- that and "low mood" are the two big diagnosis points.

I used to be like you- i could sleep for 16-18 hours a day and still be half-asleep/ too tired to do anything. i used to find it physically exhausting to even go to the shops 2 minutes down the road- sometimes even a SHOWER was too hard, i'd just skip it.

i find its a combination of many things- the RIGHT medication (there is more than one of course, and if the one you're on isn't helping than speak to your GP about another one), therapy and learning coping skills/ new behaviours, lifestyle changes. for example, i found i got into a "rut"- every day was just me sleeping as much as possible, playing WoW and talking on Vent whenever i was awake. i lived on microwave meals and noodles as i was too tired to cook, and was only able to work part time (in a job i hated).

The medication really took the edge off- it regulated the sleep better, so i'd get a really nice 8-9 hours then wake up refreshed and energetic enough to actually do stuff. it does take awhile to build yourself back up- you wont go from no energy to heaps in one day. but once a med starts to work, everything is just the little bit easier, you're just that little bit less tired and less unhappy. So thats when you have the energy to do the rest of the stuff- the therapy, the lifestyle changes, the healthy exercise (also get some sunlight each day- very important).

Each day i slowly got my energy back and now i'm probably more energetic than most people- i can get a lot of stuff done and i can multitask really well. i'm now studying my dream course for my dream job, i have enough energy to do crossfit everyday!, i quit playing WoW (just because i have so many fun things in the real world to do, i didnt have time for it- but you can still make time for it if its important to you). i cook healthy meals each day, clean the house and do the chores, do volunteer work (am still trying to find a job), do lots of errands, and have lots of fun hobbies- now it seems like theres not enough hours in the day to do everything i want to do! infact i had to learn to slow down a little bit as i was starting to get exhausted from doing TOO much- now i'm better at making time to just relax and do nothing.

 so yeah, seek out a good therapist, and ask your doctor again to review your medication. a different med might fix your energy and mood!

[Beltane]

also remember different meds work different ways- i dont know if youve only just tried one, but generally if the one you're on isnt making a noticeable positive different after 6-8 weeks on it, you really need to get the GP to review it. Once med might make you feel only slightly better and make you feel really tired, but another med will fix your sleep up, fix your eating up, and give you more energy to do stuff- while also making your mood heaps better.

trust me, i know, i've been through 6 antidepressants, and they all made the original symptoms (tiredness, anxiety etc) WAY worse- like unbearably worse. but dont be scared by that- i have a genetic liver problem so i get reactions most people wont get. most likely you'll be just fine. there is a med that works quite well for me- from the night i started taking it it was amazing. sorted everything right out. the only reason i'm not on it now as becaise i have another mental health issues (anxiety etc) that it wasnt controling- but chances are i'll go back on it and then add a second medication in for the anxiety.