Depression and close family overseas - anyone else in the same situation?

KC12 · ‎11-08-2020

Hi all,

I have been depressed from some years now and I have been struggling to find my place here in Australia. I moved here for love as my husband is Australian. He knows how I am feeling and although we speak about it a lot he can't really empathise as all his family and friends are 1 hour away and mine are 30 hours on a plane...

Due to the travel restrictions and my PR status, I am not able to leave the country which I thought it was okay during the worst times but seeing all the information about being trapped here until next year,2 years or waiting for the vaccine(?) is making my anxiety go wild. My close family(parents and sister) are overseas and not knowing when I can see them is really affecting me. I really struggle to keep my worry under control and it doesn't help all the news about it. My home country and family got hit really bad, and Australia's number is nothing comparing to what Europe went through but they were never stripped from their right to leave their country.

Sorry for the rant, just want to see if anyone else is in the same situation and it would be helpful to hear how are they coping.

Thanks

PhoebeWings · ‎24-08-2020

Hi Quince,

Im so sorry for the incredibly difficult situation you are in - yes, our circumstances are kind of similar - but reversed.

As I wrote before in previous post, I know so many are in utterly nightmarish situations re work, finances, relationships etc, because of the impact of Covid in lives.

This thread has been really good timing for me, as I’ve been slowly sinking over the past few weeks.

I’ve been enjoying doing a little creative work recently, but I do need to readjust my inner world, as I feel like I’m losing ‘me’ as time seems to have become almost static in my personal world.

I’m definitely depressed, but I can rally round in spurts of activity.
The danger for me is slowing to the point of having no motivation at all - and I’ve been close to that regularly recently.

I’d say a lot of folk are feeling the same way.

As they say “This too will pass”.

Something needs to change, definitely.

lunastone · ‎25-08-2020

This thread seems to have taken off since i last checked.

@Randomx, your words resonant so much about what i thought now. I also thought the NZ early response was great and then Aus to follow. 6 months onward. I could see that it is just not practical and the fact that every state is aiming/competing for a big fat zero is even more unrealistic. I could only hope that WA doesn't pop up a single case because i know that our politicians wont' hesitate to lock us all up like what they are doing in Vic. I have to be very careful of what i say to my friends here in australia because they are very much praising the effort of our govt "keeping us safe". Can they think out of the box now than closing the borders? Even with the vaccine, we would have the problem of people who don't want to vax. So far, reporting has shown that the antibody isn't lifelong. Thus, we eventually need to live with the virus even with the vax. who knows, perhaps we are lucky that they will find one that last a lifetime.... Yes, what's the issue if people volunteer to quarantine? Quarantine would have put most people off of traveling internationally anyway.

@Finnchicks: To be honest, the thought of not being able to travel domestically is unthinkable even self quarantine. i feel sorry for those being separated from the family within australia!

@Tangney: i see that you are talking about famous people. Yes, that's indeed unfair. I thought there was good news when trade minister announced trial charter flight and 2 weeks quarantine to get international students into south australia. Perhaps my work place could do that too for trainees. Think out of the box solution. My friends who work for the Uni have seen financial burden. Hrs cut, redundant etc. They told me that the uni isn't eligible for job keeper. These don't seem to get on the news but daily report about WA could recover faster because we close the borders (both domestic and international). Of course, this makes Australians angry as some have been trying to come back without any success. The cap of incoming international arrival has messed that up. And people have the mind set that Australians and WA residents have plenty of time to come back! I don't' think we are the majority as I know too many who don't want WA border to open at all. Local economy seems to be doing fine for most (not to me).

lunastone · ‎25-08-2020

@Tangney: about avoiding the news. Yes, it doesnt work for anyone. It works for me. I avoided the news for 5 days knowing there won't be anything new. Well, now i back on checking. It got me angry and sad again.

lunastone · ‎25-08-2020

@Tangney: sorry, hit submit too fast. The opposite is also the case. I have a colleague, whose mom has been stuck here since December last year. She stayed put back in March thinking this would be over in a few months. But no end in sight here. There are no flights out to her country directly from WA. Her mom just wants to leave but also worries about not being able to see her daughter here in Australia for who knows how long. in the end, i heard that they are paying a high price to fly via sydney which is a long detour to Asia.

KC12 · ‎03-09-2020

Last week it has been a year since the last time I saw my parents and only sister. Receiving the news this afternoon of another extension of the travel ban is has just become too much. I am in Melbourne and there's absolutely nothing to look forward to. I am devastated. I know a lot of people won't understand but the rest of the world is carrying on despite the thousands and thousands of deaths... we have done our part, trust the people and let us live.

Just wanted to vent because it's hard to speak to anyone about this.

Sophie_M · ‎03-09-2020

Hey KC12,

We're so sorry to hear how much pain you're in right now, and that it has been over a year since you've been able to see your loved ones. We empathise with how tough it can be to cope during these uncertain times, but please know that support is always available, and our caring community is here to offer as much advice, support and conversation as you need.

If you feel up to it, we'd really recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. This website will be regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348, or you can also reach out through webchat here: https://cmwssonline.beyondblue.org.au/

Our wonderful friends at Lifeline are also available to you 24/7 on 13 11 14 to talk through these feelings during your most overwhelming moments.

We hope you keep checking in and let us know how you are going, whenever you feel up to it- we're all here to help you through this.

Ggrand · ‎03-09-2020

Hello Dear KC12..

Im deeply sorry that an extension has been added to travelling...I can hear your hurt, pain and loneliness in missing your parent...A year is such a long time..aI haven’t seen my children/grandchildren now for over a year..and it does break our hearts....

There is so much to look forward to KC...You’re keeping your parents safe and out of harms way with the COVID pandemic...and when this is all over with you will be able to visit your parents and give them the biggest hug ever...Do you phone them and chat to them?..I know it’s not the same but hearing their voices would be so beautiful...

This will end KC..We have scientists and Doctors all over the world working on a vaccine..and they won’t stop until they find one..We need to believe that this won’t take much longer...

The best thing in the world to know is that you’re parents are their waiting for you when this is over...You will all come together again again..but for now KC please know that you’re keeping them safe...Please try to be strong for yourself and your parents..

Talk here anytime..we are all here for you..

Grandy..

Tangney · ‎03-09-2020

Hello KC12. I'm feeling for you very much right now. I, too, was distressed to hear about the extension of the travel ban, although I was expecting it as Australia moves slowly compared with the rest of the world on most issues and with state borders continuing to be closed, I wasn't surprised that the international border closure was extended. It's my understanding that the international border can't be opened until state borders open so that people can move freely around the country. I am hoping that the state borders will open soon, which will be the stepping stone needed to open up internationally. I, too, feel trapped here, even though I've lived here my whole life. I look for hope in the daily news, where I see more public figures are starting to speak out against these closures. I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope you're ok and that you can speak to your family soon.

KC12 · ‎03-09-2020

Thanks for your response and I appreciate your compassion. I just need to say that neither myself nor my parents think I am keeping them safe because I am away from them; they are in their sixties and in fact my mother is a frontline worker and had the COVID at the start of the pandemic during the start of their lockdown. She recovered and has been able to keep working and carrying on because life can't stop. She is suffering greatly because she doesn't know when she will see her daughter again.

Their lockdown didn't even allow to go for walks and in fact, my father spent it alone, 60 days on his own, only going out once a week for groceries. He is also suffering because of this. Not everyone sees things the same way and not everyone feels the same fear. If I had the chance to see them I would do that anytime and I would quarantine, pay for quarantine and whatever is needed. Probably the only people who understand are those in the same situation, who live day by day with the fear that something could happen to their loved ones and they would not be able to see them again. Life happens, COVID or not, people get sick, etc.

I apologise if it doesn't make any sense, I just needed to let it out.

Tangney · ‎03-09-2020

KC12. I completely agree with you, 100 percent. The response to this virus is worse than the virus and is causing much hardship. I understand what you say when you feel that staying away from people doesn't keep them safe. It is actually detrimental to their wellbeing. I hope you're ok.