Depressed Male

[Jman01]

So where do I start...
I am a 42 year old male and I had been on medication for a number of years and recently my gp referred me to a psychiatrist, as my moods were still up and down and my temper short.. The psychiatrist during the first session decided that I didn't need medication and believed the short tempers and anger were a result of me being on a medication I didn't require...
I had been on this medication for the past 10 years and I had obviously forgotten what it was like to not take anything.. I went through the tapering of the medication and then through weeks of withdrawal symptoms I could barely function.

Once the side effects subsidered I initially felt ok but a few weeks of not being on anything I developed a huge knot feeling in my stomach from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed, it was their if I woke up at night even. My moods flattered and and I break down in tears often.. I am trying to exercise more, read positive quotes, spend time with my family but I am trying to think more positive but it usually gets shot down pretty quickly usually by me.
I haven't notice a results and can't find enjoyment out of anything or look forward to anything.

I had my first session with a psychologist last week tho this first session I don't walk away with anything and now it's another 2 wweeks before I can go again.. At the same time I'm worried and thinking is this the right person for me am I going to get anything out of it? Or am I wasting my time and in 1 month I'm no closer to getting out and then have to start all over again..

I'm very lost as I don't know if I should find a different psychiatrist and talk to them while I see a psychologist... Go back on medication, tho certainly not my first choice after what I went through getting off it.

Anyhow if someone has some magical advice it would be appreciated..

[monkey_magic]

Hi Jman01,

I'm a magical monkey so I'll try my best to give U advice.

It's funny how different psychiatrists have totally opposite views. I've got the mindset of your psychiatrist but all the ones I've seen, there have been many, have been more about staying medicated.

Are you able to sustain your life unmedicated now that you've gone to the effort of withdrawing? I love that you are now engaging in more positive things.

I truely believe we are in control of our moods, anger/ temper etc.

Medication doesn't solve all of our problems, neither do professionals. If u didn't click with the first psychologist U could always try a second...third one etc...

I'm concerned that you don't find enjoyment out of anything or look forward to anything. Was this a different story on the medication? Can you remember what you were like before ever being medicated and have u made progress?

I suppose you have to weigh everything up and come up with what's best for you.

If you'd like to talk some more we are here for you!

[Jman01]

I feel really tense, worry at and stressed over such little things that never bothered me before. I feel like I have lost some confidencein my work and can sit typing the same email most of the day as my constration isn't there either.
Another difficult thing I am finding is the extensive wait times to get in to see a psychiatrist 2 - 3 months on average with some I am recommended to go and see full until January..
I am trying to cope without medication but with a lack of professional support and guidance it's really hard!

[therising]

Hi Jman01

I feel for you so very much as you face the challenge of navigating the way forward.

I shall warn you that I do wonder a lot, so I'm inclined to ask a lot of questions. I hope some of those questions get you wondering a bit too.

• Do you know who you naturally are? Do you know what you're naturally sensitive to/intolerant of? Could involve people's thoughtless/foolish behaviour, a dysfunctional mental health care system that contains depressing time gaps between appointments, challenging thoughts that enter your head, people who vibe low when they could be raising you. I could go on but you get the gist
• I'm wondering whether past medication has left you with a chemical/dietary imbalance. I think of my 15yo son when I say his lack of focus was becoming so concerning to the point where we're now seeing a dietician. The dietician has him on a high protein diet, explaining how a significant protein deficiency can impact cognitive ability. When our diet is out of wack, this can also impact our gut microbiome, in turn impacting our moods. A fascinating field of study, if you're up for an eye opening mind altering education, is 'Mood and Food'. Deakin University is top in this field of study that links gut health with emotion and brain health
• I'm wondering whether the same old things no longer excite you, the way they used to. Physical emotion is a fascinating topic. Most people see emotion as mind related. When you consider it as a mind/body thing, emotion takes on a whole new meaning. Imagining emotion to be 'energy in motion', we can be sometimes led to question 'Why aren't I feeling the vibe (my cells vibrating)?' What does peace feel like in my body? What does excitement feel like in my body? What does stress feel like? In other words, emotions are literal feelings. Various things can leave us feeling nothing or numb. An exhausted nervous system may make it difficult to feel life. A lack of energy, supplied through the right diet, hydration, solar power (vitamin D), restorative sleep etc can also leave us feeling somewhat 'flat'. Such things charge us up. If you can imagine being like a human battery, how often are you in (a state of) charge?

Personally, I love wondering about how we naturally work. It's an obsession I developed after having come out of more than a decade in depression.

I'm wondering whether your body needs a bit of re calibrating after years of meds. Maybe it's worth considering seeing a good dietician in between psyche visits.

🙂