Depressed and lonely

[Meg81]

Hi , my name is meg

Ever since December last year I had a major fight with my husband and it ended up with me being diagnosed with acute diverticulitis and ending up in hospital. I have two beautiful children 7 and 10 months and I love them to bits . Now ever since that episode in December I have been in hospital Nearly every month except may with stomach issues . I've seen countless doctors , seeing a gastrololengist , nothing seems to be sticking out majorly but I feel these pains and they are sooo painful at times . I'm so upset because I've hardly been able to raise my son who had to go to daycare when he was 7 months and being in hospital away from my family is so hard. My husband is doing nearly everything on his own working full time while looking after the kids while I've been in hospital . He has been amazing in this regard . But he doesn't seem to want to give me so much support anymore and it's hard . We used to have such a close relationship and I so miss that he is like my best friend but he hardly talks to me and says that I'm a shell of a person I once was . Given I'm on anti depessant and anti anxiety and have been through basic hell of course I'm going to be different. I've even contemplated suicide . I'm just so unhappy and I just want to find myself again and be back to the fun loving pain free girl I used to be . My husband says I need to figure this all out on my own but it's hard . I need support and I need some help please . I'm just so miserable . I have friends who are so lovely but I don't want to burden them. I also want to be the best wife and mother to my kids . I want to be me again. Plus I think I have PND after having my son. And covid hasn't helped much at all. I couldn't get to share the joy and excitement of being pregnant and some close friends and fam still haven't met him. I'm also stuck in a rut and need help getting out

Thankyou any feedback would be wonderful

[Sophie_M]

Hi Meg81,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for support, you also never know who will read this post and feel less alone in their own experiences. Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice and conversation as you need.

We are so sorry to hear that you have been going through so much recently. Between the pain, hospital visits, medication and raising a family, we understand that this must be so overwhelming and exhausting for you. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[Amanda2000]

Hi Meg,

All sounds very familiar to me! I've been struggling through the same issues myself. I also have 2 children (both teenagers now) and a husband who gets things done but cannot give me the emotional support that I would like.

In my opinion, acceptance is the solution to our negative feelings. Accept that some things in life are out of our control and we cannot change them.

I think we need to accept that the decision to become a mother is literally life-changing and we can never go back to being the carefree girl that we used to be.

Re husband, I've learnt to shift my focus onto the things that he does well to fill-in my gaps and let go of his weaknesses.

Is this any help to you?

[Petal22]

Hi Meg81,

Wellcome to our forums!

You are one strong mum…… and you don’t have to work this out on your own…….. we are all here on this forum to help and support you….

So sorry you have been through so much…….. it must be a difficult time for you………

I understand anxiety I had severe anxiety OCD….. it was a very difficult time for me while I was in the grips of it, I felt like I was living in an internal hell…….. it was horrible……. I have now recovered from this condition thanks to the professional help I received…….. I remember when I was going through this condition I just wanted to be the person I once was…… but do you know what I actually came out of this condition a more stronger, wiser version of myself…….. I grew through what I went through…….. just when I thought my life was ending I was actually getting a new beginning….

You will get back to being a mum to your children……. I understand you being upset but you need to get yourself well again……. And you will…..

im sorry your husband hasn’t been there for you emotionally……… I hope he try’s to understand what you are going through……. We can only hope that our loved ones try to support us with no judgment……..

Im sorry that you think you may have PND I understand that’s a difficult condition…….. have you seeked professional help for PND? If you haven’t I highly recommend that you have a chat to your gp about the way you are feeling…….. so they can offer you some support……. Have you joined a mother’s group or play group? I understand it’s hard with COVID……..

im here to chat to you 😊

[The_Bro]

Gidday Meg

I am The Bro and new to this forum. Let me say your post impressed me to bits. You are pretty brave to come out and document how you feel. It must suck to have such horrible long term conditions.

Have you been watching the Olympics? There's a quote I'd like to share with you:

'I'm not OK yet but I will be' - That was Genevieve Gregson a couple of days ago after she snapped har achilles tendon in the 3000m metre steeplechase within sight of the finish line. After over ten years of training all her hopes and dreams came tumbling down in an instant. And it was her birthday too!

Yet here she is, recognising that it's OK to feel very sad and depressed about her injury that will take her out of action for a year, with the Commonwealth Games only a year away. Yet together with her husband, she is already setting a plan in place to recover and hopefully race again after surgery on both achilles.

Your kids sound wonderful, what an asset to have. Sounds like your husband is a great guy, who is struggling with your condition and not sure what to do?

Have you considered support groups - chatting with others who may be in similar situations to you? a lot of communities have these either in real life or on line. Maybe your husband could attend with you? My daughter had severe PND and found a local support group that basically saved her sanity - she was so grateful for support from the group.

Meg I do hope this has been just a little bit helpful. You have heaps to have a happy life for - kids, husband and a condition that will pass with time.

I am happy to chat at any time - please stay positive!

Bye for now. The Bro