Dealing with depression and anxiety

[clownartist]

I am new to this forum.I trying to deal with depression and anxiety which I have suffered from approx last two years.I have been through a bitter separation a marriage of 20 years or so. My teenage children have almost abadoned me and have very little support.My work has suffered .I am really struggling to deal with moving forward have to sell the property find new home and job.I have completely lost my mojo

[white knight]

Hi CA, welcome.

I've been in that situation 21 years ago. I understand.

Most friends wont understand so your joining here will fill a void.

Firstly, as I found out, kids even teens are resilient and it isnt your fault your marriage dissolved. Give kids time to adjust, leave the door open, allow acceptance to develop. Tough as that is.

The single thing that benefitted me was destractoon by being busy. After 3 months living in a caravan park in a 10ft van I spotted an acre of land in a nearby country town and bought it. Every single moment was spent clearing scrub, a fire, a pot of soup etc.

I then built my own home by my own hands.

If I had not kept busy my idle and depressed mind would have dwelled on the past and also the ptesent conflicts.

Ive got some threads listed below I started. Even if you just read the first post they'll make lots of sense

Use google

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Topic: depression, a ship on the high seas- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: the timing of motivation- beyondblue

Topic: depression and sensitivity, a connection? - beyondblue

Topic: how I eliminated anxiety- beyondblue

Feel free to reply. There are thousands of threafs here and a great bunch of people to connect with.

Tony WK

[clownartist]

Hi WH, sounds like you have been through tough times.I have found it very difficult I thought I was doing everything right if you know what I mean!!I am so disappointed in my so called friends .How did you get the inspiration to keep going I feel exhausted I agree about keeping busy just got to get out of bed!!I am so embarrassed about my condition probably why I have turned into a hermit I keep expecting a miracle will happen and that is not going to occur Thanks for your threads I am keen to read them and admire you resilence John CA

[clownartist]

Just trying to relax had my hot bath listening to the Boss singing about how tired and bored he is with himself from Dancing in the Dark ,another sufferer of depression it doesnt discriminate JohnCA

[CMF]

Hi John CA and welcome,

i am so sorry to hear what you have been through. Separations are difficult enough without the bitterness. I'm sad to hear about your kids also. How old are they may i ask? Have you seen your GP or a counselor?

B complex vitamins are good and i take fish oils as well, helps clear the fog.

Moving forward is always hard when we feel so low. I spoke with my real estate agent today as i always think of selling. Have you spoken with one as they should be able to help you find something if/when you sell, even if it is a rental in between.

Take care

cmf

[clownartist]

Hi CMF

Thankyou for the warm welcome and for WK welcome.My children are 16 years old my daughter and my son is 20 years old ,he is quite independent,I am more concerned for my daughter she is quite sensitive but probably resilient.Yes I do take vit b not fishoil gives me indigestation!!I see my GP he is very concerned really nice guy he put me on anti depressants they did not agree with me at all.I have been to two counsellors it is very hard to find someone who fits your mould.Organising appraisals this week for agent not looking to be a tenant again .Such is life.Whats your situation?I am 55 years old and am surprised how unsettling I am finding this whole process Thank you for concern John

[CMF]

Hi John,

i am divorced, we split in 2009, 2 children boy 15 girl 13. He was very amicable during the split, trying to keep me on side in case I tried to 'get more'. I really just wanted to get away from him. We still bicker, he just talks over everyone and has no respect for anyone else's lives. He has now cut our son out, told him he is not welcome in his house as they do nit get along. I have a 4 yo too. That relationship failed for many reasons. Her dad is around when it suits him, can be verbally abusive to me but has her best interests at heart. My 13 yo daughter is also very sensitive but resilient. I think we need to be aware that they show resilience but when it all gets too much the break down.

It is unsettling, it takes time find 'you' again. May I ask why your children have abandoned you? Has your ex wife moved out if the family home?

[white knight]

Hi CA

Just because you mentioned hermit

Topic: so you want to be a hermit?- beyondblue

Moderation is bliss.

Thanks CMF, lots of relevant questions there.

Tony WK

[clownartist]

Hi CMF,

My ex wife left our farm 3.5 years ago in a mutual agreement.I run a small business on the farm and she had no interest in being on a farm she is a town girl.My children have not really abadoned me the oldest is at uni only contacts when he wants something.Typical adolescent I suppose,my daughter finds me difficult my ex says i discuss too many adult things with her.I agree I do that sometimes but only because I have been through such a difficult period with my ex, work and finances.I have been very supportive with her paying private school fees having parties on the farm for her friends etc.I have tried my best she is now living my ex fulltime I am extremely disappointed about that .I know she will come back at some time .It just very hurtful

[clownartist]

Hi Tony WK,

thank you for your posting hermit one very poignant.I have to say I am very impressed with the whole Beyondblue website and help .Mental health is so under estimated in our society it is such a shame.We have this obsession about things like the road toll, mental health takes far more lives.Thank you again CA