Comparing myself to others..

[NextStage]

I suffer with anxiety and depression. I took a massive gamble and left my job in the Australian Public Service after roughly 14 years, to support my husband's career opportunity in Bangkok, Thailand. It was supposed to be a fresh start and a new life. However, after traveling to and from Thailand over 3 years and giving life in a different country a 'red hot go', I found I missed my family, friends and lifestyle in Australia (including working) so in November 22 I relocated back to Oz. Most of my friends are employed/employed in public service and I feel a bit inadequate as I am on the job hunt and feel like I am not getting anywhere. When getting up the nerve to discuss with my closest friends and husband that I am feeling raw, anxious, self-conscious and panicky about my situation, I'm getting the responses that its the Christmas season and everyone is yet to come back from holidays so not to get too sensitive about things. Were just about broke now with only 1 wage and Australian prices. I try to keep positive but I feel so disconnected with everything around me, like I am treading water but everyone is full steam ahead and everyday I feel a little bit more like I am dipping below the waterline and my hope is dropping. I am on antidepression medication already (long term). Half of me feels like I should talk to someone professionally for some support but the other half of me keeps thinking its too soon and I'm being silly. I just want to get back to normal, feel normal and be valued.

[geoff]

Hello NextStage, it's not easy suddenly picking up everything and then moving overseas, simply because you have to leave your friends, family and move into a country you aren't sure of whether or not you will like, so it's quite understandable.

It is not too soon to talk to someone, because your life has made a dramatic change and not coping with what's happened.

The antidepressants (AD's) may need to be reviewed by your doctor as sometimes as we change they aren't appropriate for us any more, especially being on them for a long time, your life changes and so do your circumstances.

Your doctor can offer you a 'mental health plan', which entitles you to 20 Medicare paid sessions to see a psych, so at least this a start for you, because over the next few months there will be many questions you will be unsure of and some you won't have answers for, so it's best to talk these through with a psych, just make sure you like the psych and if not chose another one.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[NextStage]

Hi Geoff,

Thanks for you response. I have had a mental health-plan in the past and went through 2 Psych's before finding success with a third. I often find that I really want to discuss with my GP that perhaps another type of anti-depressant may be helpful to me but by the time I get to an appointment (often 5-6 weeks later) that there has been a change in my situation and I don't feel 'that' bad anymore, continue on until the next downward slope occurs and the process occurs all over again...

Again, thank you for your response

[therising]

Hi NextStage

You're far braver than me. Not sure I could move to a different country if my husband asked me to. A tough move. You're a legend!

Being a 52yo gal and being a major 'sensitive' or 'feeler', sensing a lack of money definitely has a feel to it. I wonder whether you're a caretaker, someone who takes care of things so everything works out. When you're a caretaker/manager of everything working out, others tend to say to you 'It'll be right. Don't worry'. In their eyes things always work out. Through your eyes they work out because you make them work out. You're a problem solver. When your husband faced the problem of how to work overseas without disrupting your relationship, you solved the problem, you went with him. He no longer had a problem. When it came to the job, you resigned. Problem solved. I imagine you solve far more problems than you give yourself credit for.

'You're being too sensitive' is definitely a trigger. First question I'm triggered to ask is 'What am I sensing/feeling?'. A lack of financial resource? Dismissiveness, when it comes to my feelings? A lack of a solid and inspiring plan? A lack of time or structure? Is the lack I'm sensing based on a serious lack of input from others? Is their lack of input depressing or anxiety inducing?

Getting people to sense how we feel is not so hard. To trigger someone to feel that horrible energy in motion (emotion) called 'stress' is rather easy. Imagine saying to people 'I've decided to take this year off work. Others are going to have to fund this lifestyle where I work full time in learning strategies to manage and master anxiety and depression'. Watch those around you become emotional as they either angrily or anxiously tell you in so many ways 'You can't do that!'. You could be sassy and say to them 'It'll be right'. Let them feel that comment 😁

If you're sensing what comes to mind as being good advice, 'You need to speak with someone, for guidance and support', trust what comes to mind.

[geoff]

Hello NextStage, there might be a change in your situation and that may temporarily make you feel better, that's totally understandable, but when this situation 'becomes useful' then you fall back to how you were so don't be confused by different circumstances in relation to how you are feeling.

Geoff.

Life Member.