Hi Brokenandbruised. How uncanny. I am in the exact same position as you. I suffered from depression through my life, the worst 2 points was in my teens and a few years ago. I did several major lifestyle change from the lowest point of my depression and gradually everything got better. For the past few years I feel happy to say I felt the least depress in my life.
Recently it came back again. Perhaps last night I was feeling as distraught as you. But I remember if I had survived the last major low all on my own, I can certainly do it again. For starters it is great you recognise that it is coming back and you are seeking help.
I was going through this forum for some helpful tips and I found the following quite useful:
When you find yourself thinking very negative thoughts, go through these 3 steps:
- What am I doing/thinking?
- Do I really want to be doing/thinking this?
- If the answer is no? Let's do/think something else.
The other I found useful was this:
Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily
Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses
Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing
Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them
Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel
Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day
Forgive me, I have no understanding of your physical illness I hope it does not restrict your activities too much. Like everyone else who had gone through depression, the most dreaded comments from our friends/family is that they think we are doing this to ourselves/ we don't want to be better. It is understandable why you feel so upset with your bf, but before you put more energy into changing his mind, use that same energy to focus on yourself first.
Take care and be well.
