Bouncing back- how do you do it?

[white knight]

Most of us here dont live stable lives in terms of our mental health. Ups and downs can come from many sources, the most common one is depression, be it the illness itself as an origin or other health issues that lead to it.

Whatever the reason we fall and many of us fall heavily. We get tired of this dropping into the abyss because that feeling generates a "oh no, not again" feeling and along that path is the dreaded almost unrealistic thought of not being able to crawl out of it. Of course we do and within a few days, months, years for some we respond and recover. While we are on this high we feel we wont drop again and of course we do and that cycle seems to never end. That's the sad part- it never ends.

Positive thinking, something I've believed in for 50 years now actually has very little impact during the down times, in fact you could be adding to your depression trying to motivate yourself and fail to do so. So, I wait until I get those tingles that cause me to smile a little and I know its time to motivate, go for longer walks and smell the roses.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-motivation/td-p/149708

But everyone's different, what works for one might not for another. Hence I need your help. What tactics work for you that bring you out of a bout of depression? Or what  helps delay your mood if you can feel it coming on? Do you rush to do the food shopping because you are falling into that cycle so you dont have to shop when you are depressed?

What is your control methods to help you battle this terrible illness of depression?

TonyWK

[therising]

Hi everyone and thanks so much for such great insight. I always appreciate tips and strategies that are going to open my mind.

Eagle Ray, 100% agree with the laughter strategy. Wasn't until covid lockdowns here in Melbourne that I came to fully realise how therapeutic laughter can be. It's when my kids and I developed our ability to speak absolute nonsense, having each other in fits of laughter at times. I wouldn't have managed too well without this strategy. I think Melbourne's 245 non consecutive days in lockdown brought out the comedian in me. Actually, I've managed to find a common thread running through the cycles over the years. When I cycle into depression, typically a new facet of me is on the verge of coming to life. The question can be 'What is it that's champing at the bit to come to life?'. Whether it's the adventurer in us begging to come back to life through a depressing lack of adventure, our intolerant sense of self who's on the verge of getting the people pleaser in us to take more of a back seat in life, the comedian in us that will provide a sense of comic relief amongst the pain or some other facet, I've found one of the most powerful facets is the wonderer. It's the part that doesn't declare 'I'm so broken', instead it leads us to wonder 'Why am I suffering so much?'. Then the quest begins, to find out why we're suffering as well as how we can manage the sufferance in ways that are going to serve us.

[Eagle Ray]

Hi therising,

 I think that question of “Why am I suffering so much?” is so important. Often people get a diagnosis of depression and are left with amorphous feelings but no real insight into what is happening. If you can gradually piece together the mystery of what’s behind it, you can start to find constructive ways of addressing it. Sometimes it is multifaceted and needs to be come at from a few angles. I think treating it as a mystery to solve can help alleviate some of the suffering as well, like it becomes a quest as I know you’ve mentioned elsewhere. I love your idea of the inner sage whom you can go and ask questions to. About 18-19 years ago I was having wise old man dreams. In one of those dreams he was really emaciated, showing how I had been neglecting his wisdom. In another dream he guided me to the decision to become an education assistant which I followed through with in my waking life and it turned out to be a really good decision for me at that time in my life. I was going through significant depression as well as a lot of physical pain around the time of these dreams. So it is like we have inner resources that can manifest to help us in times of depression and difficulty.

[white knight]

So sorry rx, auto spelling error, it was supposed to be "unmedicated". Whatever way sufferers medicate eg diet, more physical exertion or other is ok but I was trying to express that without anything can be an issue. Certainly didn't mean uneducated 

I wouldn't intend to hurt. I should have proof read it

TonyWK 

[randomxx]

Ah thanks very much Tony that's nice to hear , it didn't sound like you so l wasn't too bothered, didn't even think of the silly spell checkers though.

All the best

rx

[therising]

Hi Eagle Ray

I love how much you related to your dreams and how they shed light on your path while leading you in the direction that served you best. I think we humans are amazing when it comes to all the incredible ways in which we work. We can definitely be a mystery with a kind of longing to be solved (through greater self understanding).

At times I consider life to be a bit of a treasure hunt. Occasionally we'll find gold nuggets or moments that bring us great excitement and joy, at times there'll be gems of a multifaceted nature (such as those parts of us that serve us) and little pearls of wisdom we feel as much needed revelations. Can be hard to locate such treasures in the dark but it doesn't mean they're not there waiting for us to discover them. Don't know, maybe that's what we're meant to be doing, saying to our self I'll search for a nugget this week, a gem next week and somewhere throughout the month ahead I'll search for a pearl or two. While I tend to forget some of my amazing finds, I think there's a need to keep a log of them (a journal of some type).

[white knight]

The Rising

"Treasure hunt."  Several years ago, I was burnt out. Due to mania I'd lived 3 lives in one, so it seemed so in a way, there was no more treasure, a been there done that...

I was wrong, along came the James Webb Telescope that has filled me with amazement and Netflix mainly documentaries and newly discovered marine species at great depths. 

TonyWK 

[therising]

Hi Tony

I suppose there are so many things that can shift our focus away from the treasures in life. When such things become depressing or anxiety inducing it definitely doesn't help matters. That kind of stuff just fixes our gaze even more intensely, away from the treasures.

Whether it involves a view to something truly amazing, documentaries that fill us with wonder and awe, simple things that we can feel exciting us and inspiring us and bringing us to life, I think a lot of us would agree we've heard our self say in one way or another 'I thought the kid in me was long gone'. But there he/she is, brought back to life and grateful to us for having refocused.

[Eagle Ray]

Hello All,

Yes, I love the idea of a treasure hunt. I love wildlife photography and I never know what I'm going to see when I go out. Sometimes I don't see much at all and then I'm almost back to my car and a beautiful bird appears, a bandicoot starts feeding on the track, a snake slithers across it or kangaroos jump past. All these things have happened to me on my most recent walks and just across the road from me too. I feel every animal I see is a blessing. I don't have to get photos, just seeing them is enough. If I do manage to get the extra bonus of a nice photo, I can revisit that memory again and again afterwards. There are actually incredible treasures everywhere in so many ways. It is what keeps me tethered to life.

Those marine creatures from the depths are incredible. They are otherworldly looking, simply because they are not quite like anything we knew existed before. The earth still holds many secrets as does the universe. The wonder from that in itself is an awe-inspiring thing. I agree that re-connecting with the kid in us is a special thing to do. I love being around kids because of their wonder and fascination at things.

May we all connect with worlds of wonder,

ER

[white knight]

Hi everyone

Over the last few months I've had a 82yo mate face cancer. Two days ago we towed our caravan to his town 3.5 hours away and visited. He's lost 20kg and unlikely to reach xmas.

On our way home it was quite emotional watching his wife, married for 62 years, get emotional and us trying to be strong and supporting.

I realised this morning that I'm pulling myself together and wondered how, well, its all got to do with returning to our living routine, grab breakfast, sit on our verandah and watch the native birds feeding the seed on our bird feeder and drinking from the bird bath. Do some shopping and all these things have distracted me in a home base that I feel secure in. But what about those people that dont feel their abode is home? they dont feel secure- ever? and dont get pleasure in feeding birds or have fur babies? like our mini foxies that we love so dearly.

Life already a daily struggle for us, I cant imagine if it was more of a struggle, well financially I can as I struggled for so many decades then in 1996 and 2020 I built two houses that reaped financial reward and debt freedom, so I can think how hard it would be at 68yo and having a mortgage etc. That would bring me down heavily and constantly. While gratitude is a very good bit of medicine it doesnt mean struggles go away. Famous rich people like Howard Hughes still struggled regardless of his wealth.

So getting lifted, bouncing back can be a daily or weekly event.

He appeared half the man in bulk and might

stooped over and half his height

but to face his fate he not hesitate

double the courage and triple the fight...

TonyWK

[randomxx]

Hi there Tony and sorry to hear about the friend.

l think about others a lot to atm , especially in these crazy times and mad housing situations , and for people to have somewhere to call and feel home.

My ex and l travelled and moved a lot over 10 yrs , we often lived in a tent between stops sometimes for mths , but it was a choice and part of what we were doing and wanted while we were young.

But when we'd did decide to stop it was a helluva lot easier to start up a new base somewhere, find a house to call home temporally than what people are going through now, really sad stuff.

But hell yeah , many of the actors and musicians have many problems even with what you'd think with their wealth , impossible, a lot of them actually go broke later on to.

But l also couldn't even imagine not being able to walk outside or go down the street or beach or shopping, living la la land many of them have all kinds of MH problems to. Give me the real world any day.

rx