FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Being Bi Polar

Lizzy1
Community Member
Hi all, this is my first posting on a forum. I am Bipolar, have been all my life, well, since I can remember anyway. I was always diagnosed as depressed, and I guess that was because of some traumatic events that happened in my life, and obviously I wouldn't come out of that unscathed. I always felt that it was more than that, ( being depressed, or suffering from PTSD), but I couldn't explain it. As I got older and with my symptoms becoming more serious and varied, I sought councilling and was described various medications to stabilize my moods. But nothing helped. I would swing between feeling what I would consider "normal", and deep, deep depression, which I could not understand, as everything was okay in my life. To cut a long story short, and to not go into too much, I was resently diagnosed. Bipolar. Well thanks. Even though it gives me a reason to understand my longstanding behaviours and feelings, and how I've never felt "normal", I now have to realise that this is my life. That nothing apart from medication, can help me. Where was the help I needed all those years ago, before I lost my children, my family and my friends?? How could I have expected everyone else to understand why I was like I was, when I never could understand it myself? I am now nearly 57, in my second marriage, which is being destroyed by this horrible disorder, and I'm really sick of it.
7 Replies 7

kanga_brumby
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Firstly Lizzy a great big welcome To Beyond Blue Forums. A safe place to bring your problems to. Their are people in here better able to help you in here than me. But now you have been diagnosed and getting treatment. Be kind to yourself. In time things should level out and improve for you in time> give yourself heaps of time. You will notice an improvement. Mean time try meeting a few of us in The Beyond Blue virtual Caff and make some friends in there.

Peter

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Welcome Lizzy to the forum,

This is a caring , friendly and the supportive place. I am glad you posted and pleased to meet you.

I was diagnosed over 40 years and am a few years older than you. I am on my 3rd major relationship.

There is a thread you may like called this bipolar life and you would be welcome to have a look.

Even though I was diagnosed as a teenager I was in denial for many years as there was not much information or understanding back then. One of my children has real issues with her upbringing. I have never felt I was any good at relationships.

I can relate to your frustration. Apart from medication I find I need to look after myself and be vigilant if there is a change in moods.

You are not alone. It can feel like an uphill journey at times . Do you find your highs or lows to be the bigger problem.?

I used to think it was my highs until I realised how they were destructive .

Feel free to post. I have never felt like I fitted in either.

Quirky

Hi Peter, how are you? Thank you so much for your kind words. I am a bit overwhelmed by the support and kind words, so thank you

Hello Quirky, how are you? Thank you for your response and kind words. My lows are definitely a big problem, and unfortunately my highs are causing alot of friction as well. My spending gets out of control. Also I tend to start alot of projects that never get finished,or even looked at. I wanted to play guitar, so bought 3 , amps, books ,dvds etc, but never picked up a guitar. I enrolled in an online university wanting to study criminal psychology, but never opened a book. Joined an online ministery, I can't stop accumulating crosses, put a Bible beside my bed, and that was it. I have been crying everyday since my diagnosis, knowing that this disorder is lifelong, and that not just, ( the word "just" is not meant to minimise a depressive state, as depression is a serious condition) but knowing that even by removing myself from a bad or dad situation, will not help my bipolar. I don't want this, as nobody does, and I feel that the rest of my life is going to be very lonely. I have no choice in my wanting to be by myself. Thank you and I hope you are well

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Lizzy,

It must be a big shock for you and you maybe need to give yourself time to get used to the idea. I have had over 40 years of getting used to the idea and sometimes I have days I just want to be label free!!

I can relate to starting then not finishing things. When I was younger I changed my degree so many times that I withdrew from more courses than I passed!!

For me and this took ages to acknowledge that if my highs were no so high my lows were not so low. I had to cut up credit cards, and even now I ask someone I trust before I make a big purchase.

Everyone is different and I realise you feel overwhelmed now, but is possible to live with bipolar. I spent much of my life being angry with it, fighting it, now I try to accept it is what it is.

There are many supportive people here and on This bipolar thread , who have been through similar things to you. There are a few people who have been recently diagnosed too.

Thanks for replying.

Quirky

Thanks again Quirky,

Your words are a help. I cannot talk about my lows just yet.

Hoping to talk soon.

Take care

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Lizzy,

Just letting you know I am thinking of you, no need to post until you feel ok.

This is hard processing all the information but you harken a few steps down reached out.

Others will read your posts and be able to relate even though they may not be able to post. Your words will help them.

Take care

Quirky