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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Anne_Autumn Hello pre-midlife crisis!
  • replies: 3

Hi, New member, first post (so pls be kind & apologies for rambling!) I am married woman with a successful career an turn 35 on Monday. I am also the queen of the mask- IE no one knows the struggles behind this perfectly crafted facade and according ... View more

Hi, New member, first post (so pls be kind & apologies for rambling!) I am married woman with a successful career an turn 35 on Monday. I am also the queen of the mask- IE no one knows the struggles behind this perfectly crafted facade and according to my counsellor I have having a mid life crisis of sorts- or as I like to call it a "pre- midlife crisis". I was originally diagnosed with depression and GAD a bit over 12 months ago.The depression crept up on me as I was dealing with relationship issues to the point where I was unable to work or barely leave the house. The diagnosis was almost a relief- as if having a name made this a beast I could identify and then beat (I come from a health background so a label was useful for me). I tried therapy very briefly but had not found the right therapist and I spiraled- I didn't go back. I opted for exercise & trying to deal on my own & was able to pull myself out of the initial crisis, with a probably unhealthy dose of denial and wine. I denied my GP's suggestion of an antidepressant- I didn't need meds! Fast forward 12 months and I hit breaking point. The straw that broke the proverbial camels back was a work scenario and my response to it was not healthy, I literally did not have the capacity to overcome what should have been a straight up difficult conversation- I cried, drank, reeled for a weekend and barely made it to work on Monday. It was then I realised I needed help. I made an appointment with a counsellor and the ensuing 6 weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster thats on a constant downward spiral. I am learning a lot about myself, and how I got here, I also finally filled the script for those antidepressants- and after 2 weeks feel like the numbing cloud over my head is lifting slightly. But I have a way to go- my therapist suggested I take a leave of absence to deal with my mental health, and spend some time truly analysing my life, goals, values, relationships... But this terrifies me- I feel like I might burn everything I have worked so hard for down and have to start again, I also know this could be exactly what I need. Keen to hear from others who have worked through similar times, did you take time off, go to a treatment facility, holiday solo? If this sounds familiar or resonates in some way I would love to hear from you X

inais Feeling off
  • replies: 1

First post so hello everyone. And pre warning that I'm not great at explaining things. At 32 I've just begun my second fresh start in 6 years. I took myself 2k km from my friends and family with a partner, then when things failed in that relationship... View more

First post so hello everyone. And pre warning that I'm not great at explaining things. At 32 I've just begun my second fresh start in 6 years. I took myself 2k km from my friends and family with a partner, then when things failed in that relationship, I persisted 2 years til now after saving some money and really trying to rebuild myself. Rebuilding included Drs, Phsyciatrists, meds, exercise ect. For those two years I was unhappy. And potentially very lonely. So much so that even now I fly solo and so use to my own company as I never had any support network. I have so many issues banked up, that I didn't know about until my whole routine was changed in coming here. Naturally, I'm a stress head. I've also since Xmas last year not been on meds as the ones that seemed to work I grew somewhat immune to after 14months. Anyways, that's a bit of my history. There's much more detail in a lot of blanks. But it seems that I rebuilt nothing until this new move. My point of this thread. After reading these pages for a few weeks, not really knowing how or what to say, or if I should even bother. Is that I'm feeling very off, or done, or exhausted. I have no ties. Technically I'm free as, and a lot of people say they wish they were in my shoes. But they don't know my insides and what goes on there. So here I am. Fresh start. I've gone backwards. Crying when I cook a meal again, scared to go to the shops, having panic attacks when I see work uniforms and how I'm unemployed - yet way too not together to be able to even sit an interview. I refuse to centre link. I came here by choice after leaving a job. Ive never really had beliefs in how society is run. I've lost my motivation, even to enjoy little things. My attention span is short, restless, even sitting here writing this make me want to delete it and just not even bother cause it takes time. I tried opening up a few times. But I just seem to get categorized and it frustrates me. I guess my question is. What do I do now? I'm honestly exhausted from the last rebuild which feels like it was a waste. I feel purposeless and a waste myself with no energy to rise again. Not how I wanted my fresh start to begin at all. Thank you for sitting through that. I really appreciate anyone listening.

ewart Does there have to be a 'life event" reason for depression
  • replies: 5

The battle I continue to have is that there appears to be no rhyme nor reason for my mental descent into this involuntary melancholy. Yesterday, for no explicable reason, I felt in control of my emotions and went about my day just feeling "normal". I... View more

The battle I continue to have is that there appears to be no rhyme nor reason for my mental descent into this involuntary melancholy. Yesterday, for no explicable reason, I felt in control of my emotions and went about my day just feeling "normal". It is such as great feeling when the weight has gone and yet today, right now, and for no reason that I understand, the elephant has returned and sits squarely on my chest and he won't budge. I read everyone's own experience with this "thing" and there appears to be a reason for most people in terms of their journey with this debilitating madness. I can't find a reason, well a conscious one at least. Family and friends need to find a reason and constantly tell me why I must be feeling the way I do. It frustrates the hell out of me because they're wrong but they need to hang their hat on something. Is it possible that there is no reason for this solo journey of torment.

DB1986 Was feeling good but quickly taken away from me
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm a first time poster. 2015 was when I first encountered serious depression.. I had a relationship break up, moved states and had a very sick father.. so I could almost "justify" why I felt so bad.. It took me about six months but I eventua... View more

Hi all, I'm a first time poster. 2015 was when I first encountered serious depression.. I had a relationship break up, moved states and had a very sick father.. so I could almost "justify" why I felt so bad.. It took me about six months but I eventually got myself out.. but the antidepressants I was put on never game me vitality, they just helped me function day to day. Fast forward until the end of Jan 2018, and I had another relationship breakdown... this was the catalyst for me to spiral into a major depression (which i'm still in) - although a catalyst, I know it wasn't just this.. I think ever since my last episode in 2015 i've always been right on the edge, but that break up came as a huge shock and pushed me over the edge. Since 2015, I was on multiple types of medications, fast foward until now and I have a new (but amazing psychiatrist) who genuinely cares and wants to help.. Initially he put me on something different to try and help me get out of the spin but I had a terrible reaction and went into Akathisia.. So for the last month i've been on two seperate and different medications again. What i'm struggling to understand is last week I felt so good, like I was getting back to my old self.. and then I woke up on Sunday and had completely returned to that numb feeling of just wanting to die (i'm not suicidal, life just seems pointless). I've told my psychiatrist and he said he's seen it before when peoples mooods go up really quickly that they can come crashing back, and he attributes a lot of it to coming off the other medication about a month ago... So my question is: 1) wouldn't the AD's have already been out of my system? 2) How can I go down so quickly? 3) Am i just on the wrong drugs? Sorry for the essay.. I have a very supportive network but none of them experience depression so can't really understand it.

Maggie_Mae Are you ok?? Why don't people actually listen to response
  • replies: 9

I've been a little lost of late, struggling a little, trying to build up the courage to actually go to a GP and talk about possibly having depression. After weeks and weeks of back and fourth in my head pros and cons. Today a friend asked me if I was... View more

I've been a little lost of late, struggling a little, trying to build up the courage to actually go to a GP and talk about possibly having depression. After weeks and weeks of back and fourth in my head pros and cons. Today a friend asked me if I was okay? That I seemed quieter than normal. my first and normal response was to say "yeah fine just a bit tired" but today I rhought NO I am going to be brave say no I am not okay. As I start d to responded: no not really my 'friend' had already moved on to tell me about how she had been having a bad day. i felt like she had kicked me in the gut. Why ask if you don't care enough to at least listen to response. Dont by me wrong I am happy to help her out and listen to her bad day(as she put it) but it got me thinking how do you know when to tell someone NO YOUR NOT OKAY. Because ig they don't listen to you it sure makes you feel worse than you did before.

MyThoughts Feeling down at my new job and not getting better
  • replies: 4

Hello, I'm new here and this is my first post, and I feel I need to get this off my chest. I'm a fresh uni graduate and have just started my first full time job in media and I'm now three months in. This isn't a job I wanted but it was the only place... View more

Hello, I'm new here and this is my first post, and I feel I need to get this off my chest. I'm a fresh uni graduate and have just started my first full time job in media and I'm now three months in. This isn't a job I wanted but it was the only place that offered me something, and being a desperate graduate, I took what I could get. Although it's not what I wanted, I figured it would be a foot in the door and I can gain some professional experience, and who knows, maybe it might exceed my expectations. Even though I kept an open mind, this job has been more of a disaster than I thought. Ever since my first day, I have felt like an invader on the team that I work. Although most people are friendly and occasionally chatty with me, I get a very strong vibe that I'm unwelcome. This has been documented numerous times where everyone has gone out in a group to lunch and I didn't receive an invite. Other times I have been invited and I'd say I'll quickly go toilet, and they've all walked off and left me behind and I can't find them. And other times I have gone to sit with them at lunch and the mood very quickly drops and everyone stops talking. Even the other night after work, everyone went out for drinks afterwards and I had no idea. It wasn't until I bumped into them in the lift and another person I didn't know asked me to join, but a few people on my team didn't even acknowledge I was even there. The girl I report directly to is extremely patronising and has gone behind my back to say things to my manager that she could pull me up on herself and simply say, "please inform me next time", for example.Her patronising and condescending emails to me often have my manager and director CC'd in them so she appears like she's being a leader, but it leaves me feeling awful about myself and makes me doubt myself and my worth. I was really hoping that considering this isn't a job I was genuinely seeking that the people I work with would make it feel worth it. But everyday I feel miserable, and even on weekends I am constantly thinking about work and it's already taking a toll on my mental health. I stress too much, I always feel down, and I dread waking up every morning. But I'm worried quitting would look bad on me, considering the advertising & media industry in Australia is tiny and everyone knows everyone. Any advice on what to do would be massively appreciated. Thank you!

white knight Bipolar downers
  • replies: 1

I have depression down times, constant depression in the form of Dysthymia and bipolar down periods. They are all distinctly different. Depression when it hits can make me tired but that is more like what my wife feels and she hits the bed. For me it... View more

I have depression down times, constant depression in the form of Dysthymia and bipolar down periods. They are all distinctly different. Depression when it hits can make me tired but that is more like what my wife feels and she hits the bed. For me it’s a time when I feel suppressed, emotional, foggy head and no motivation. Dysthymia is a depression that is forever present. Thankfully my positive mind over rides that most times and it is easier to live with. But bipolar down times are the most difficult of all. It’s like living on a cliff edge with your feet trying to push you away from that edge only one day something or someone gives you a push. Over you go. That person is called “life”. One example. We had visitors yesterday. Before they came we cleaned up the house, packed away stuff and even cleaned the car. All was set for a bbq in out entertainment area. We were all seated and my lovely niece commented “there’s a spider web up there”. Boom! The bipolar mood struck. Sensitivity on a global scale! With my bipolar mood it hits like a slap in the face, I can never reply during such a time, I have a desperate need to run away and on this occasion I slipped into my bedroom for a while, deep breaths. In years gone by it would be a case of crying my eyes out but I’m 62 now and I’ve learned a little about how to face the challenge of returning to the group as if nothing happened…after about an hour. It is important to let you know that this bipolar reaction is unavoidable. It’s something we have to live with. I’m on Ad’s (small amount) and mood stabilisers that have a great daily stabilizing effect for me. But its these downers through the slightest trigger that sets me off. To suggest finding courage to return to the fold is an understatement, its taken me many years of changing my mindset of allowing the bipolar to take a firm grip to reversing that trend and returning to normal life and family. So my method/routine is to do this- Remove yourself calmly from the group Take deep breaths Find distraction (I get on a forum) Go for a short walk Accept that it isn’t the other persons fault Rejoin the group with a joke or humour You might have your own routine. Can you share it? Have I described the bipolar downer accurately? Tony WK

cfalz I’m so numb that I lash out at those around me just to feel something
  • replies: 4

I’m struggling to cope with this feeling of complete hollowness. I’ve had this deep sadness in me for years and it just won’t go away. I used to be able to cry, but I can’t even do that anymore. I’m so so tired and I just want to sleep to stop thinki... View more

I’m struggling to cope with this feeling of complete hollowness. I’ve had this deep sadness in me for years and it just won’t go away. I used to be able to cry, but I can’t even do that anymore. I’m so so tired and I just want to sleep to stop thinking. I’m so numb that the only thing I can feel other than this unmoving sadness is when I’m lashing out at others. I snap and say terrible things to those around me just so I can feel something. I hate myself for it and I just want to stop it all. I just want it to stop. I hate myself for doing this but I just can’t stop I don’t want to do this anymore. Please

Raven666 Loneliness and Self Loathing
  • replies: 4

I keep feeling like everyone has left me. Like I'm all alone in this pathetic useless world. I can't stop feeling so much contempt and hatred, anger and rage at this fascist of a society. I feel like i'm sick in the head. Like there's something wrong... View more

I keep feeling like everyone has left me. Like I'm all alone in this pathetic useless world. I can't stop feeling so much contempt and hatred, anger and rage at this fascist of a society. I feel like i'm sick in the head. Like there's something wrong with me. Some poison in my system that's changing me. Damaging me. My intellect sets me apart from others, I'm not easily fooled. I know all the Psychology and Reverse Psychology that people use against one another and how everything is all me me me and no one gives a damn about us. About what we want and feel. I keep feeling as if my own flesh and blood family has abandoned me. Like no one has my back. No one to turn to and no one to lean on. I feel all alone as I fall into a deep black abyss that no one can pull me out of let alone understand it. People mouth adages and courtesies and pleasantries at each other never meaning anything what they say. They just want to talk about themselves or take your money and don't care about the damage they're doing. I am so sick of this place and so sick of myself. So much hatred, rage, loathing is poison.... Normal 0 false false false EN-AU JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Gilip Having a bad bad day
  • replies: 7

I feel buried under sadness and unable to surface for air, feel I can’t breathe how I hate sadness inside and long for the joy I used to feel most of the time. What happened to trigger this low day, who knows!!!

I feel buried under sadness and unable to surface for air, feel I can’t breathe how I hate sadness inside and long for the joy I used to feel most of the time. What happened to trigger this low day, who knows!!!