Beating the Depressive Demon!

[Guest_21]

Hi All,

Well I've finally taken the first step to "fixing my broken mind" and making my life work this time around for I want a life free of negative thoughts and despair. Currently I am in a progress of medication, counseling, eating well, getting sleep and doing positive thought practices. Have found a site called pinterest which I find rewarding for things that I like doing, check it out. This illness is such a destructive mechanism in our brains and I would not wish it upon anyone for that matter!!! Family is so important when we are in these times of decline but I believe that we can make change for the better if we choose to fight it rather than let it fight us!!! I have changed some things in my life so far for the good with just retraining my thinking process and find it does work with constant day to day positive thinking. A lot of my depression has come from long term unemployment, financial stress but also a hereditary gene in my family. I am willing to beat this "Black Dog" and make my life better!!! I have made a folder with positive thoughts that I can reflect on each day which helps a lot I must say, things in my life and the way I think and want to change, also I try to focus on the future and not reflect on the past. I do not drink alcohol any more, period, this is such a bad coping mechanism for us, never solves the problems, just makes it worse than it really is!!! I am grateful that we have websites like Beyond Blue because talking about our issues is one of the best starts we can make to a better positive life. Retrain that brain everyday with the tools that you need, I guess we are like cars somewhat, if we don't service them regularly they break down so it is important to eat well and get rest when required to build up our brains and body. In my past I have been to some VERY dark places and now choose never to go back and if something in life presents dealing with it in a different way I find is the key to making positive happy thoughts overrule this. Thanks for letting me pop in and say hello, share my thoughts and desires, you can beat this but sometimes it takes time and the right tools.

Take Care of you all.

[Chloe_M]

Hi 👋 And welcome! Wow I've never read a more enthusiastic first post, congratulations!

Your lifestyle sounds like a healthy one, you are to be commended on your efforts to beat the black dog that is depression. All these little strategies and analogies you have mentioned sound helpful and not drinking alcohol 👍 Thumbs up to you my friend 😊 smart move.

Thank you, truly, for sharing your thoughts here, I think if you stayed and helped us you would prove a wonderful asset to our team 😄 welcome to the family!

YOU take care, that's the most important thing for you to worry about.

xx Chloe

[Guest_21]

Thank you very much Chloe I appreciate your feedback and taking the time to read my first post!

I will be sticking around for sometime for my journey has only just begun and if I can help ANYONE, I'm all for that.

Generally I am a positive person but of late definitely not, one thing I have realized is I forgot about where my mental/physical state of well being was and not thinking of myself. I do tend to put others first which is my love of family/people/girlfriend (girlfriend which very sadly I have lost in the last week) but did forget who I was and what was important to keep healthy. No one is to blame in this world for what we suffer but sometimes people close to us in our life just don't cope and with high stress levels it leads to a very dark place. I really still feel love in my heart for her and feel so sad that she had to go through my darkness too, it affects others as well. One thing I try to do each day being unemployed is follow a list of must do's, GET OUT OF BED, this can be so bad for our health, HAVE BREAKFAST, this keeps our body and mind strong, HAVE A SHOWER, this makes us feel better, BE THANKFUL TO BE ALIVE, it is a journey and it makes us stronger each day we try to get the most out of it. Also little things that make us feel happy, like a trip to the $2 shop for a small gift to myself like a small plastic tree I have put in my bedroom to signify new growth in my life. One of my problems with my mind is that I set to higher targets which often leads to FAILURE, when i should be less critical of myself and focus on things that I can achieve easier. My life has been very kind to myself but some terrible things have occurred over time which certainly has had an impact on where I am now, it was not till later in life did I realize that this has had some impact on my mind, some things shape us somewhat but letting go more often lets it go away more which I now practice every day. No one knows the hell we go through with depression, "he looks ok" but internally we feel so sad or confused at times with life and where it is all going? It's not like a broken leg or arm, people tend to then understand somewhat better. I do believe that we can make ourselves better, healthier people with constant "RETRAINING OUR BRAIN" with our thought processes and the mistakes we make, guess we are just like computers, put the bad stuff in it's what you get back but trying the good stuff always gives us better responses.

Take Care of you All : )

[quirkywords]

LBuddha,

I want to welcome you to the forum.

Your posts are so enthusiastic and helpful.

I like the way you share with us all your journey so far and what you have learnt.

So welcome and thanksfor sharing your enthusiasm with us.

Quirky

Q

[Chloe_M]

I don't have long but would just like to highlight:

"One of my problems with my mind is that I set to higher targets which often leads to FAILURE"

This quote I can just relate to 100%. I have too high expectations of myself, and if I fail to meet them I am very critical. I think many people would struggle with self expectations; after all we are our worst critic.

Take care x

Chloe

ps I'm sorry about your girlfriend... I've been there before I'm here if you want support

[White_Rose]

Dear LBuddha

Hello and welcome to the forum. What a delightful and positive post from you. It is good to concentrate on the positives in your life.

It's good to read you do not blames yourself for your depression. As we all know to our cost the Black Dog takes up residence where it chooses. The name of the game is training the dog to behave, not bark and drown out your own voice and to walk to heel. Life gets so much better when we have a well-trained dog. I think we do not get rid of our depression from our lives, keeping it under control and learning to engage in positive activities and thoughts is about all we can manage. It can be a rewarding journey when we set out with those goals in mind. That's why I am so happy for you that you are travelling well along this path.

So sorry to learn you have parted from your GF. Never a good time no matter who makes the decision. Eighteen years ago I made the decision to leave my husband and have lived alone ever since. On the whole it is a more rewarding and happier place for me although I get lonely at times. This is where we need to remember who we are.

I have found, and still need to remember, that when I get sad the trick is to let it wash over me. Allow the thoughts etc to be there without fighting them and trying to 'make' them go away. Sounds a bit contra-intuitive I know but that way I can see how much these thoughts have lost some of their sting and every time they come back it is with less venom and power. Not sure if I will ever look back and smile at some of these memories as they have been horrendous but for now I try not to fight, which is instinctual.

Good to have you on board with us. I hope you will the time to answer other posts and help those who are still struggling.

Mary

[Guest_21]

Hi Chloe, Mary & Quirky, good morning

Thank you so much for the reply's, it makes me feel not alone in this crazy world we live in and gives me more of an understanding of what other people are going through too. : ) I woke up this morning with this thought of "what am I going to do to get through today?". I have had through my life an over active brain, always wanting to achieve things but now realize that this behavior of doing to much and keeping busy also results in burnout and not thinking about where my brain is. So.......I've decided to do less from now on and currently where my headspace is have decided to plan the day with less effort and stress during my recovery. (mind you I have thought of one little project). I tend to do all the normal things in the morning but also have allowed time at 2pm to have a rest period for recovery, 2 hours, I guess if we had a broken leg we would be resting so I am looking at it that way. Would love to be in a job earning money and furthering my life but this situation I'm in currently has sent me to work out the bits and pieces that need repair to allow myself to move forward in life so much better. It's interesting to see how our minds work, all my life I thought that keeping busy would fix things, a drink here or there, but honestly I was looking at it so much the wrong way, "Band- aids", that's all it was! Relaxing is another thing I have struggled with too so now I am putting in place more laid back thinking and trying to not let my brain wander so much. Another thing that has always played on my mind with depression is wanting to have kids and be married but I now realize that there was a very good reason for this, I wouldn't have coped. Back in my early years as a child I was very quiet, shy and withdrawn somewhat, I look at this now and understand that the depression has been there from a very early age, it just wasn't identified. As years went on through primary/secondary school I felt somewhat better but still not right, bullying didn't help either mind you. Then in my early twenties some things were starting to crack and show signs but I just lived in denial. In my thirty's I was still in denial being the so called strong male I thought i was but this was certainly not the case! One thing I have found is that our body/mind is made up of chemicals and when we resort to alcohol/drugs, it can change the way our body functions, thank god for "The right medication!".

Hope you All have a lovely day, take care

[Birdy77]

Dear LBuddha 😊

I just wanted to say how very much I enjoy reading your posts! Thank you so much for sharing what is going on in your head with us all.

Your post today is quite inspiring, and a wonderful reminder for us to be gentle on ourselves as we are in recovery ... so thank you again.

🌻birdy

[Chloe_M]

Hi LBuddha 🙂 don't have much to say, only that your post was very inspiring, interesting and very helpful!

x take care of yourself (although I reckon you'd be very good at that from what you have written)

Chloe

[Doolhof]

Hi LBuddah,

I too welcome you to the community here. I have enjoyed reading your posts and have appreciated being inspired and taking my thoughts to different places regarding my mental health.

Some morning I will lie in bed and consider how I will spend my day. I'm currently not working due to mental and physical health issues. I do some volunteer work and am doing some online study.

I try to plan around what jobs I need to do, balancing that with stretches, walking, doing something pleasurable, reading, appreciating my achievements, noticing any set backs and working on how to change or improve things.

When I have too much free time with noting organised, I find myself walking in circles so to speak and that is when the unhelpful thoughts come rolling in.

It sounds like you have some wonderful ideas and strategies to help yourself and to share with others. Thanks!

Cheers from Dools