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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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pulsar Hello beyondblue.
  • replies: 2

This is my story. Perhaps it will resonate with someone, helping them to realize that they are not alone. Perhaps someone will be able to shed some light on my situation, giving me a fresh perspective and hope.I am a 34 year old male who suffers from... View more

This is my story. Perhaps it will resonate with someone, helping them to realize that they are not alone. Perhaps someone will be able to shed some light on my situation, giving me a fresh perspective and hope.I am a 34 year old male who suffers from depression. I have been receiving treatment these last 4 years, although my depression goes back as far as I can remember. I suppose that the stigma of having a mental illness kept me from seeking treatment earlier in life. This "stigma" is still an issue for me, not because I judge other people; but because I judge myself. I was in a relationship with a woman whosuffered from extreme anxiety and depression, she later became my wife. Her anxiety attacks were frequent and debilitating. Almost every night she would have a panic attack and ask me to take her to the hospital. We both knew that it would generally recede before we ever reached the emergency unit, however going through this process seamed to help. Maybe it was simply the thought that someone cared and was going to take care of her that alleviated the anxiety, or perhaps it was simply a matter of enough time passing. I spent several years encouraging her to seek help and eventually she did. There was a marked improvement as far as the panic attacks were concerned although her depression never really left. Towards the end of our marriage, we have been separated for three years now, my own depression seemed to increase. There were a number of factors that contributed to this; the suicide of a close friend, the terminal illness of a family member, my feeling that my wife and I were both withdrawing and drifting apart. I believe that what had helped to keep me focused and able to work and function was the notion that I needed to be strong for her sake. I know now that one cannot make someone happy, happiness is a personal journey, and something that needs to come from within. My own people pleasing behavior was never going to result in my own happiness either. It became apparent to me then that if I did not get some help that I would eventually kill myself. What price misery? I am running out of characters so I had better come to some sort of point.The last few years have been a dizzying merry go round of medication and therapy, so far nothing seems to stick. I am currently undergoing a protracted period of extreme depression, over two months. In this period I have lost my apartment and my job, because I have not gone to work. Losing all hope.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Lucylou Feeling lonely, sad and isolated
  • replies: 46

I'm 62 and most of my life I have been caring for people. My 1st daughter was born with Cerebral Palsy and I cared for her at home for almost 30 years. I had 2 other daughters who are fine. I have been through a divorce which was my choice. My brothe... View more

I'm 62 and most of my life I have been caring for people. My 1st daughter was born with Cerebral Palsy and I cared for her at home for almost 30 years. I had 2 other daughters who are fine. I have been through a divorce which was my choice. My brother and only sibling passed away at 42 from a heart attack. I cared for my Dad who had lung cancer and was beside him in hospital when he passed. I then cared for my Mum who had Alzhiemers Disease until she passed. I also suffer from Fibromyalgia and in constant pain. In 2008 my daughter became very ill and was put on life support. After talking to doctors and specialists my ex and myself were advised us to turn off the life support....she calmly passed away going on 5 years next month.I live near my 2 daughters who are both married; one has 3 children who are 17, 13 and eleven but because of her circumstances I haven't had a lot to do with my grandchildren. I feel I am a stranger to them.My youngest daughter is my rock and has just found out she is pregnant which I am over the moon about. It may seem strange to some but I am closer to this daughter than the other. But I think sometimes she gets sick of me. I live by myself apart from my 2 dogs and 4 cats and have no friends; I say hello to the neighbours but I don't like socialising or going out. sometimes I can't even be bothered talking on the phone yet in saying this I feel so lonely and isolated. Does that make sense? Am I playing the victim? Am I feeling sorry for myself?I have been on several antidepressants over the years and currently have been on the only one that seems to work for 5-6 years now. I have seen a Psychiatrist after my daughter passed away and then a psychologist....that was about 4 years ago. Some days are good but mostly I feel I don't want to be here any more. I shouldn't feel this way especially with a new grand child on the way.I hope my story makes some sense because at the moment I'm feeling lost and sad. Beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Struggletown Long term battle
  • replies: 4

I have battled depression for as long as I can remember. I have tried many antidepressants that have had no effect.2years ago ,out of desperation my girlfriend had me admitted to hospital.i saw a few physiatrists and the only real answer I got was mo... View more

I have battled depression for as long as I can remember. I have tried many antidepressants that have had no effect.2years ago ,out of desperation my girlfriend had me admitted to hospital.i saw a few physiatrists and the only real answer I got was more antidepressants.Last year I became worse,overwhelming negative thoughts,never a day that I'm not angry or depressed so I had a mental health team visit me.they have diagnosed me with dysthymia and have told me that my only solution is cognitive therapy and there is no magic pill.Ihave finally taken myself off antidepressants which was the hardest thing I've ever had too do.I have had lots of sessions with a phycoligist but I don't really see any improvement in my condition. I am at a point now where I had to quit my job as I just can't face the day and have lost my relationship as I'm just unbearable to be around..Is there any solution to this misery I call life

in-it-for-the-long-haul When Can I Finally Be Free For Good?
  • replies: 5

Hello, My name is A,I was officially diagnosed with depression 8 months or so ago. After almost half of a year in University, and countless days where I wondering what was wrong with my head, I finally decided to do something about it. I saw a psychi... View more

Hello, My name is A,I was officially diagnosed with depression 8 months or so ago. After almost half of a year in University, and countless days where I wondering what was wrong with my head, I finally decided to do something about it. I saw a psychiatrist, and I told him how I would spend full days in bed, not leaving for even a shower. I could barley eat, and I felt like with every beat my heart took, black tar was coming through my veins. I had spent nights curled up on my closet floor in agony and anxiety. I had self harmed countless times. I had written over and over again the dark thoughts racing through my mind.Naturally, medication was subscribed, and I was battling the depression, the worry, the new news of what was wrong all on my own. Only a number of days after beginning my medication I had gotten so out of control that I felt I had no choice but toend my life because of the pain that seemed it would loom forever unless dealt with. I made an attempt one night, my roommate had come in without me even noticing. I spent that entire night in a hospital, completely alone, without sleeping a wink. After that things all went uphill. It was my lowest point. My parents were contacted by my roommate of my condition. They were finally able to support me. I was put on proper medication, and things took a while, but I began feeling like myself again. Days still came along however that I could feel the depression slowly creep up again and try to get a hold of me. I felt like I was swimming in pool, and I could stand up most of the time, but then some days the sun would hide, the clouds would come and it would pour. I'd start to drown. Sometimes this would last a number of days and I feel like I can't catch a breath. It's been 8 months that i've been properly medicated. 8 months that I've did everything I was supposed to. The thing is, Depression is still there, hidden under pharmaceuticals. It's dormant most days but I can't shake it. My question is when will the time come in my life that I can finally be free of this demon once and for all? When will I be able to breath, all day every day. When can I stop relying on pills to be happy. When can I be happy for real? On my own. Will I ever be able to get rid of this horrible part of myself? Will I ever be able to forget what happened that one night. beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Leafmaple Persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia)
  • replies: 10

Am 70. When I was 20, I saw a psychiatrist at the university health service because of extreme shyness, particularly with girls. He was so awful I never went back after the first time. I had an academic career, successful, publications, awards, etc.,... View more

Am 70. When I was 20, I saw a psychiatrist at the university health service because of extreme shyness, particularly with girls. He was so awful I never went back after the first time. I had an academic career, successful, publications, awards, etc., but feel a failure. I could be entertaining, spontaneous, informative, etc. talking to a hundred people, but in an ordinary social situation where I am not a lecturer, I freeze, can't talk, or when I do, it comes out so awkwardly that it falls flat. It is as though I were two different people. I only identify with the loser "me", not the successful "me". I was good looking as a young man, looks never a problem. Spent 3+ years with a psychiatrist in the 1990s (dysthymia was his diagnosis), learned a lot about why I react in certain ways, but could not change and ended up feeling even more of a failure. I have almost no friends, avoid social situations whenever possible. Am married with 4 adult children (great relationship with children), but no help. No time to talk about marriage/sex, but also a problem all my life. I have little faith in therapy, but I would like not to feel so lonely and useless (not suicidal, though). I have notes the psychiatrist gave me, but they just confirm my inability to modify my behaviour patterns. For example, I realize, as he said, that my self-image is largely the result of my conditioning by my mother, but it still seems, or rather feels like the "real me", even though I know that is its origin, so I still behave the same way. I have read about CBT, but from what I read, it seems to me that you have to tell your self lies, deny what you know, or at least feel, to be true, and I couldn't do that. I don't really have a good question, except that I would like to know if anyone knows if it is possible to find some kind of "cure" at my age, so that what time I have left (am fit and healthy, attend a gym) is not as miserable as these 70 years have been.

nhu feeling hopeless update
  • replies: 10

So I went and saw my GP today, I've been given a script for 2 drugs; one to help calm and settle me down when I need it and an antidepressant I start tomorrow morning. Unfortunately he did not complete a mental health assessment, so I did seek out a ... View more

So I went and saw my GP today, I've been given a script for 2 drugs; one to help calm and settle me down when I need it and an antidepressant I start tomorrow morning. Unfortunately he did not complete a mental health assessment, so I did seek out a psychologist via my work eap program. Talking to someone face to face was an relief and a burden off my shoulders. I can only do what I can do. I need to focus one the future and getting better for my family. I will see the GP again next monday and will ask to complete the mental health assessment.

Bruce_Wayne Some thoughts on my experience of anxiety and depression
  • replies: 8

I can't speak for everyone here but my experience of depression and anxiety is that, well, it's pretty awful. One the top 5 least favourite things in my life, somewhere between Justin Bieber and cold showers, both of which make my nipples invert in u... View more

I can't speak for everyone here but my experience of depression and anxiety is that, well, it's pretty awful. One the top 5 least favourite things in my life, somewhere between Justin Bieber and cold showers, both of which make my nipples invert in unpleasantness. I'm sorry everyone, I don't mean to undermine the severity and the effect of depression, nor shun those who enjoy Justin Bieber or cold showers, they're just not my thing. A weird (or possibly just stoopid) sense of humour is the one thing I hold close to me and try to never lose because it keeps me fighting back and allows me to look at things from another, less painful point of view. I just think that we all deserve to be able to laugh at the things that hurt us, that is our right. Sometimes the joke is only for your own sake and no one else's. That's okay. I don't think laughing at something or joking about an issue indicates that you don't take that issue seriously or that you're weak in any way. It's a way of holding some power. But for those of you who can't laugh at their issues right now that's okay too. There's no pressure. There are some things in life people often don't take seriously enough and could do with a bit of emotion. If you don't really feel like you care try not to feel guilty either. These things can play on your mind - someone out there has it worse than me and therefore my feelings or lack of feelings are unjustified and a waste of space. That's part of what people never told me about depression. It can make hit you on a small scale but be so persistent that it you doubt it's there and question whether you're making it up to justify your own apathy. That can just be another part. Depression really comes in all sorts of ways, it can be a numbness, a prolonged feeling like there's no purpose, direction or reason for your existence, it can be intense sadness experienced in frequent bursts and it can be a consistently average /low mood. But it's really not always so obvious that what you're feeling is depression and/or just a part of your personality. I know right; hats off to captain obvious but these are things I often forget and they can lead me to doubt myself. I say this hoping someone out there might not feel so alone and just for a bit of venting/musing. Whoever is out the reading this, I give you my love and wish you the best. I'll be posting here somewhat regularly, to share my thoughts, learn from others and hopefully help as many as I can on here.

AZSD Depression & Insomina
  • replies: 2

Came as refugee fleeing my country...stayed in detention centre for 1 year with isolation from rest of the world ....deveoped depression and sleeping problem....out of detention separated 5 yrs from family....depression and chronic insomina now even ... View more

Came as refugee fleeing my country...stayed in detention centre for 1 year with isolation from rest of the world ....deveoped depression and sleeping problem....out of detention separated 5 yrs from family....depression and chronic insomina now even I got my family with me ..........tried many health professional with no sucess....life getting very hard because I have to work long hours to support family...you can imagine without sleeping and using sleeping tablets most of the time ...I developed high blood presseur as well because of that..... I am not sure what to do ...too tired and depressed all time ...nothing to enjoy ....I will appriciate any help/advice Thanks you

Anchor25 It's like I've felt every possible emotion that I'm ever going to feel
  • replies: 4

I'm 32. I don't feel like I have anything to live for. My life is a waste. I have no purpose or great talents. And every day everything just seems hard.I' m done. It's like I've felt every possible emotion that I'm ever going to feel, I've travelled ... View more

I'm 32. I don't feel like I have anything to live for. My life is a waste. I have no purpose or great talents. And every day everything just seems hard.I' m done. It's like I've felt every possible emotion that I'm ever going to feel, I've travelled lots, I've been in love, I've had a good career and now... I'm just done. I don't want to get out of bed most mornings, even on weekends. I've always been a loner and I'm okay with that. I have only a few close friends and only one best friend who really understands me. I've never been close to my family. I see my brother and his family once a year at Christmas. I visit my parents maybe 4 times a year. We just don't have anything in common and it seems like a pointless exercise to even try to build a relationship there. And they don't want to either. I don't trust people. I don't really like people that much. Meeting new people and making small talk is a huge effort.I'm a negative, pessimistic person. I have read a lot of self help books, tried affirmations, self esteem courses, gratitude diaries etc. None of it works. I feel bleak about the future. I don't see what I have to look forward to except more of the same struggle. I feel like I am failing at life. I don't like myself - the way i feel and the way i can't dig myself out of this hole makes me feel like more of a loser. Intellectually, I know I need to think positive and maybe I should be working harder on this, but it's just another thing I'm obviously not that good at.My job bores me. I'm a well paid marketing manager. Things are changing at work and I often feel undermined and like I have to fight for my position. I have talked to my boss but he doesn't seem to get it. I feel like I can't quit or change careers because I need the money. How can you start a new career at the age of 32 anyway? Working in the corporate world is just all so fake. People would think I am nuts to quit. The thought of working in an office job for the next 30 years is just ridiculous. Is this what the point of life is? I've never really struggled to find dates or boyfriends. I have been seeing someone who i believe is m soulmate (what he believe is another story - and it's a long one) on and off for 10 years and when I finally told him how I really felt about life I don't think he could handle it and we haven't seen each other for weeks now. It's complicated.Have been on antidepressants for the last 6 months.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

andi Will I ever get back my ability to cope with stress?
  • replies: 5

Ive always felt like I was a resilient person, shy and introverted but quite capable of coping with whatever life throws at me. Sometimes its dealt some very hard times but I have always picked myself up and carried on. I look back on things, and I h... View more

Ive always felt like I was a resilient person, shy and introverted but quite capable of coping with whatever life throws at me. Sometimes its dealt some very hard times but I have always picked myself up and carried on. I look back on things, and I have had to deal with a lot of stressors over the years and have had periods of low mood. For example, raising 2 kids entirely on my own, getting a degree while working, then caring for others in my chosen profession. But I have always managed to lift myself out of the depression with a bit of counselling and looking after myself. Last year, I completely broke down and felt suicidal. A number of stressors completely overwhelmed me and I could barely function. I have to work, so it took everything that I had just to get through the workday. I did start to get better with some meds, counselling, hypnotherapy and had been fairly stable for the past 3 months. The last 3 weeks have seen a number of different stressful situations, and I am back to feeling hopeless, no energy, shake when I am in a situation with even a little tiny amount of stress, socially isolated....if I could escape to a hut in the bush where no one could find me I would be happy! Does this ever end? Will I ever get back my ability to cope with stress?