Anger and emotions coming to the surface

[Nell57]

I have been suffering from depression for so long I have actually forgotten when I was first diagnosed. I had been taking one type of medication for some years but discussions with my psychologist and dr that has changed. Since starting, it has not seemed to have changed how I feel, in fact I feel somewhat worse. I am groggy most of the day, wake up with nausea and when I manage to sleep it is a combination of vivid bad dreams, not nightmares, but not far from them. These dreams tend to be a mix of memories and dreaming. I find I am angry to the point of wanting to break a glass or something, not that I have done this literally, but I feel this way. It is as if something is trying to get the the surface but doesn't quite make it. I am unhappy and keep relieving and going over bad things that have happened to me in the past. Things I don't want to remember. Most of my day is spent feeling low and worthless. I am married and although my hubby is very supportive I find I get angry with him for the simplest stupidest things. I yell and scream over mole hills, which to me are mountains. Has any one out there felt like this. In a fit of despair I mentioned this on another site and was told I should get a referral to a psychiatrist and perhaps go in to a clinic to get all my meds sorted. Please help me, please tell me that this is not so weird and that I am not going mad. I only came to this site because I saw an ad. Thanks for **listening** to my rant.

[JessF]

Hi Nell57 no it is not weird but you don't sound very well. Medication is funny, I was once put on something (I could just about compile an A-Z of all the ones they've tried on me) and it gave me flashes of rage. I did actually end up breaking something, though thankfully not hurting myself or anyone else. Who knows whether it was the pills or just part of my depression but I went back to who I was seeing at the time (a psychiatrist) and explained what had happened and demanded to have it changed. Sometimes you can get side effects off medication that are just temporary while you are starting and then they go away, but if they're so horrible that you can't sleep, want to vomit or beciome so angry that it's violent then it's not helpful. A psychiatrist could be a good idea, or at least maybe a differetn GP for a second opinion. Not all GPs (or psychiatrists for that matter) are very savvy about depression.

[Girl_Anachronism]

Hi Nell,

First of all, welcome to BB. I hope you find these forums as supportive as I do.

Second you're not going mad. 🙂 I am sure that many other people are rading your post and nodding. Some may even comment. 😉

May I ask how long you have been on the new meds? I can second what Jess said above- some antidepressants have side affects which ccur in the first week and then disappear. My current ones had sideaffects for the first three days and then they disappeared with no long term side affects. Others can have long term side affects which will last as long as you are taking them. My previous antidepressants gave me light sensitivity headaches so bad I was on painkillers every day for the three weeks I was on the antidepressants. Even going out to hang out the washing sent pain spearing through my head. Thankfully I'm not on them anymore.

My first port of call, if I were you would be to go back to your GP/Psych at your next apoointment and tell them of the sideaffects you have noticed. Ask if they are sideaffects of the meds and if they could be changed.

Last, ly I just want to add that I know how it feel to have fits of rage. Unfortunately mine aren't meds based- they are just emotions I haven't dealt with for ten years and are finally coming home to roost. I too, haven't actually broken a mug or thrown something a the wall but I feel the impulse time to time. I am working through that with my psych but it could take some time. Again, that is something I'd suggest you bring up with your Psych at your next appointment.

Take Care and Talk Soon,

GA