Does anyone else have problems in discussing their issues on a face-to-face basis?

[slownews]

I have huge self esteem issues that is placing my quest to get better. I was trying to get a referral from a GP however I either couldn't answer their questions or was just simply meandering in my answers. I have been feeling awful about my life, work and studies for some time and I fear it is getting worse. I sleep too much and I question everything about myself. I feel isolated and unintelligent. I'm constantly anxious while contemplating the uselessness of my life. I fee utterly worthless, unaccomplished and stupid; beliefs that I think are the root of my increasing anxiety and depression. Does anyone else have problems in discussing their issues on a face-to-face basis? And what are some simple tips to alleviate such awful self esteem?

[Neil_1]

Hi SlowNews

And welcome to Beyond Blue ... I will try to give you some thoughts and suggestions, but I will no doubt be followed on by a few other posters ... all being fellow sufferers (or in a couple of cases, past sufferers) who provide wonderful messages of support and advice.  It's a really top community that is here on this site.

Before I delve into the GP that you visited, I just wish to point out that on this website there is a list of GP's that can be searched and you should be able to narrow it down to ones in your local area.  These GP's are not just the 'garden variety' GP, as these ones that Beyond Blue have, are all fully trained to deal with and assist with mental health issues.  And from that, they would have their own list of psychs that they could refer people on to, depending on what their situation is.

SlowNews, I think that this could be an approach you may wish to follow, considering the appointment that you had with the GP that you mentioned didn't appear to go overly well.

I would like to pick you up on something that you wrote ... in a massive wave of negativity about yourself;  putting yourself down really badly.  Could I please say that you earlier mentioned that yes you are feeling awful about your life, but also you're feeling awful about your work and your studies.  SlowNews, someone who is unintelligent, worthless, can't accomplish things, etc etc cannot hold down a job AND on top of that be studying to better themselves.  This is you, you've got a job and you're undertaking studies, as far as I can tell, which makes you NONE of the things that you've beaten yourself up about.

Having said that yes, I can feel and understand where you're coming from by mentioning those negative things, but it simply isn't true.

Discussing things on a face to face basis.  Yes, if I knew that answer I'd be definitely telling you, but that's something that frazzles me as well.  So yes, I have those issues and it stresses me out to the max as well.  A thing that may help (which I do, whenever I have an appointment) is to write down a list of things that are troubling me or how I'm feeling - just dot points and I take that with me, and either give it to the psych/GP or I simply have it with me as a reference if I need to access it.  So I don't miss out on anything ... nothing worse than having to wait ages for an appointment, you get the appointment, you go along, it goes ok, you're driving away after and you think, "DAMN, I wanted to say this, or that"!  But the time has passed.

Slownews I hope I've helped in some way with my post.

I also hope that you can post back whenever you feel ok to do so.

Kind regards

Neil

[Jo3]

Hi Slownews

I have huge self esteem problems as well; I am always doubting myself and question my answers to things in life.  For me, I have found an amazing GP and I now have a therapist (which I've had for 3 yrs) and a psychiatrist (for meds).

I think being honest with these support people have slowly helped me see what I do and how I think so negatively about myself and things in life.

You see it's the depression and anxiety that causes you to feel like this.  I would suggest if you can to see your GP and speak with him/her and maybe ask for a mental health plan (which entitles you to 10 sessions claimable with Medicare) to which you then can see a psychologist and discuss a treatment plan.

That would be my first step - seeing your GP.  There is also some great reading material on here that you can read up on which will help you as well.

I'm not sure how old you are but maybe taking someone with you to see your GP would help as they would support you.

Hope you can come back here and chat with us again, when you feel up to it.

Take care

Jo

[Mbuna]

Hey Slownews,

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so bad. You say that you think your low self esteem may be causing your  anxiety & depression. Its more likely to be the other way around. It is probably the depression that is causing your low self esteem. The feelings of worthlessness and isolation are a major symptom of depression. The sleeping is also a symptom. For some reason depression makes us tired all the time.

You need to seek help. You say your GP was not that helpful because you had trouble communicating how you were feeling. I have the same problems. I try to explain things but they don't come out right or I miss important bits of information. Try writing it down. You have explained yourself very well in your post. There is nothing wrong with writing down your feelings and presenting them to your GP. If that does not work, you can always find another GP. Neil has given some great advice above about the GP,s listed on the BB website.

You have asked for some simple tips to help with your low self esteem. If the low self esteem is being caused by the depression/anxiety then the simple answer is to treat the underlying condition. Getting some professional advice would be my number one tip. There is a lot of information on this website that can also be helpful to you as well. Once you understand why you are feeling the way you are, you can then work out ways to combat the feelings. I find exercise helps me a lot. It does not have to be hard work. Sometimes I find that a walk around the block helps me perk up a bit. For some reason a nice hot shower also works for me. There are also some support groups around. I'm not sure where you live but I found talking to people on this forum and at the support group I go to to be very helpful.

I know how you are feeling at the moment. Its a horrible place to be. I have been there. I'm sure there are a lot of people on this forum who can relate to the feelings you are having. There is light at the end of the tunnel however. What you have is a treatable condition. It is possible to get your self esteem back but this is not a journey you want to try and take alone. Niel is 100% correct when he says that you are not worthless. You may feel that way but you are not. Depression makes us feel that way. It made me feel that way. There is help out there. Once you get the help I am sure you will start to feel better.

Kind Regards

Mbuna

[slownews]

That is some really great advice. Thank you so much. Your response is already making me feel a little better. I'll take down those tips for next time. And it's odd, I do find hot showers rather comforting. Thank you again! 

[slownews]

And to Jo3 and Mbuna, I'm going to record your tips for future reference. Sorry for this rather uneven responses, I'm adapting with how to use this forum. But really, thank you all for your responses. I'm going to try again later this week. 🙂

[Neil_1]

Hi Slownews

That's great that you've posted back ... it's always really good to get the feedback from the initial poster.  And then if we can assist further along the way, we'll be here for you.

So yep, we'll be here whenever you want to come back to us ... because I think just one post from a few of us, while it's good, it's only a start.  So come back to us Slowness and we'll hopefully be able to give further support, if you need.

Kind regards

Neil

[Mbuna]

Hey Slownews

I am glad that you are feeling a little better. Talking about your problems always helps. If you bottle up your feelings, they have a tendency to overwhelm you. I have found this forum to be very helpful. Neil and Jo3 are always willing to offer a shoulder. There are a few other regular contributors as well. I try and get on here as much as I can but work sometimes limits my time.

I recently took up boxing classes. Its not fighting but boxercise where you work with a partner who has mitts. Its a cardio workout and I have found it to be very helpful. I feel fantastic afterwards. For me its a great way to unleash frustration. I also sleep very well that night.

Regards

 Mbuna