Again faced with the PND darkness what can I do.

[Mummykb]

So my second child is 10 months old. my oldest is 4 it took me 8 months to acknowledge I had a issue with my first child and the wheels started falling off this pregnancy at 28 weeks gestation.

i had been working permanent night shifts and I stopped sleeping.

tried to be proactive seeing Drs from 28 weeks starting antidepressants, stopped working the nights and seeing a Psycologist every 2 weeks but now my baby is 10 months old I am almost ready to raise the white flag and give up.

i am on a new antidepressant and that medication is now under control by a psychiatrist.

i still have Psycologist I see every two weeks

money is now a issue I never get time away from my children as I can't afford to pay for them to be in care.

i was due to go back to work but work has changed its mind based on psychiatrist advice that I am not ready yet so I am off until July 2017.

i get no help from Centrelink due to husbands income so are sometimes left making the decision of if I go to a dr or not based on do I have the money to pay for more medications and out of pocket consultations when we are currently budgeted to every last cent just paying the mortgage and other debts.

what are free coping methods other PND mums use that I am not seeing.

i was doing mums and bubs exercise for a while until I had to drop that expense.

[White_Rose]

Dear Mummykb

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. So pleased you have written in here for help and support. PND can be so deadly. After I had my fourth child I think I had some PND but back then (when was a lad) I don't think it was recognised as an issue. I got through it, I think, or at least the major part of it but I have had a mild depression ever since. Not that I knew it at the time but with hindsight (ain't it good?) I think that's where my vulnerability started.

If I may a couple of suggestions. Have you spoken to your GP about fees. Although practices say they do not bulk bill, some doctors will do this in hardship cases. You will not need to produce your accounts 😊. Explain what is happening, you cannot be worse off. Similarly with your psychologist, can you discuss fees. I'm trying to remember if Medicare pays psych fees other than being on mental health plan. Also talk to your psychiatrist about the size of the gap fee. These people are interested in you and many are prepared to charge a lower fee under some circumstance.

Have you been on a mental health plan? Please discuss this with your GP if this is not in place. It allows you to access ten visits to a psychologist with Medicare paying the bulk of the fee. Again some psychologists will charge only the bulk billing fee, but the gap is so more manageable. So that's doctors

Where I live my local council organise local events. Actually organise is not the right word. I think groups organise and council puts them on their web site. In my area, Brisbane, there are walking groups, Tai Chi which meet in the local park and are free and various other activities. Libraries have activities for children during the school holidays and probably toddler activities all the time. Check the web site of your council. I live in Brisbane and have their web sit in my favourites list.

How are you about reading? Libraries of course are the way to go, but they also know of local book clubs you could join. These clubs meet in the day and the evening. My group meet in the evening. Look at your local churches. They often run activities you may like to join. e.g. several near me have craft groups. This may not be feasible because of the cost of materials but I hope you get the drift. Also read your local paper. These are generally available from local shopping centres etc. They have ads for free or very low cost activities.

I have almost reached the word limit. Will give this more thought. Write in again.

Mary

[Mummykb]

Yes I have a mental health plan. All my Psycologist appointments are covered by veterans affairs due to my dads active service in Vietnam. I attend a free craft group once a week and have played winter and now summer hockey I have even tried to come out of my comfort zone and meet new mums in the area in the hope to build new aquaintences in order to "get out of the house". My mind does not like sitting idle so the fact I have already had a full 12 months off work almost stresses me out when I am at work due to it being a high stress (healthcare) environment there is usually no time to focused on how bad I am actually feeling I just get in and get it done however at the moment I don't have the ability to suppress things and get on with it via distraction I also am feeling pretty exposed as I would usually keep the fact I was struggling under wraps but as my employer was pushing for me to return to work citing operational considerations and go back on night shift i had applied for more time off. I had to expose the problem to get them to consider that if I returned day shifts and times where there were more staff on deck and reduced days was a better option for the interim if they couldn't grant the time off. Unfortunately emotionally I then started preparing for returning to work organising care ect only for them to place me in the too hard basket and decide the original request is what suited them better and left me just hanging confused as to what I really wanted.

[White_Rose]

That's very hard when you cannot get a straight answer. But maybe the best option for you now is to be at home. Looking after two young children is not the most restful of occupations I know.

I do understand how you feel better being at work. When I first was depressed the psychiatrist I went to wanted me to take time off completely. The thought horrified me. I lived alone so no one to talk to 24/7 was not what I wanted. He eventually agreed that I could work four hours a day. My boss was then ticked off because it made life more complicated for him. Sometimes I felt I ought to apologise for being unwell, as though I had reached this stage on purpose. So yes I know that managing by working is often easier than "resting" at home, no matter how busy you are.

Obviously you have a computer. Have you thought of computer activities such as researching your family history? I know it costs but I found there was nothing so absorbing as chasing down ancestors. It really helped me cope at times. When I woke in small hours of the morning I would often get up and spend several hours on the computer doing my research.

I have asked a couple of other folk to write to you. The more people answering the more ideas can be generated. I will pop in again.

Mary

[Sharny]

Hi Mummykb, sorry to hear of your suffering.

Firstly I'd just like you to know I did not suffer from PND but had major depressive disorder on and off prior to the birth of my first child and then diagnosed bipolar after experiencing a major manic episode. So whilst I did not suffer PND I hope it's ok to respond with some suggestions because I think they might fit into the catagory of coping, not sure but I'll try if that's ok?

I had a period of not being able to leave my home for 4.5 months when my little guy was about 2 months old until he was 6/7 months only venturing out to see health nurse on two ocassions to get my little boy weighed and have his appointment. All my shopping was done by my husband because i could not leave. Keyed up and suffering but wired with plenty of manic energy during part of this I saw no problem other than to keep my boy safe, venturing out would be too risky in my mind. Anyway enough of my own story, the thing is after a period of time I became depressed and my energy was suddenly ripped away. My depressive side led to problems functioning etc on top of still not leaving home. When my little guy was 9 months old or so I saw a psychiatrist and started looking at a few ways of getting out of the home (great difficulty). I felt instinctively by now that both his and my own development had to be supported by contact with other people aside from family dropping in we needed to get out. I started picking up, one outing which was of particular benefit was a weekly playgroup, cost was only $50 per term (13 years ago) and it involved parents with children in a local hall for 2 hours per week. Nervous at first and stripped of confidence I made myself get there each week. This gave me building blocks to engage with other mums, set out toys, pack up together and have conversation. From this it was a chance to form contacts within the community and led to invitations to park gatherings etc. If I could not manage more than the once a week at that point then that's all I did but it was an accomplishment. Some weeks I struggled because the enormous effort no one knew just to get out the door but it was one avenue.

Mary mentioned the library. I did this with my children and again a chance for playing with other kiddies.

You could take another parents child for couple of hours and then swap over/ share occasionally to have a break? Parent share of care and children get a play! No cost apart from time and extra kiddies!

[Sharny]

Hi again,

I also meant to mention that the shared care swap would obviously only be if and when you were feeling like you could cope with extra children of course. xx

[hayleynew]

I can wholeheartedly say that (with personal experience may I add) PND simply sucks balls!

You have done the right thing by giving up those things that stress you out and done things to alleviate your PND by seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist and sounds as though that perhaps you need an outlet to get rid of that frustration, depression, anxiety and general feeling of blah that affects many of us mums. Have you thought of going for regular long walks with bubs? And are there options where your parents or hubby or a friend can help you by taking the pressure off and looking after bubs while you have an hour to yourself? In regards to work, could you go back part time to ease you into or that a complete no go or is there a small income job you can do while awaiting to go back in a full time capacity like at home in come?

Personally, getting out for an hour by myself does me the world of good and makes me appreciate my son more as I realise how much I miss him. I love time with him but time away from him is bittersweet too. I practice mindfulness and it's something that I'm really passionate about, I also study and as much as it sounds silly, this takes my focus away from what isn't going right in my life. I also have a few hobbies that I enjoy such as softball, the gym, netball which are probably not as cost effective unfortunately.

Hopefully you have found this helpful,

Goodluck in your journey to wellness,

hayleynew

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Mummykb,

Thanks for posting.

There's a couple of resources that I can recommend that might be helpful to you.

Centrelink do have the majority of their payments which are assessed on both assets and income, however the Low Income Health Care Card is not asset tested. The eligibility is the income for the last 8 week period. Although this is not a payment, Health care cards can make Doctor's appointments (and other things) significantly cheaper. The link is here if you would like to look further into it - https://www.humanservices.gov.au/customer/services/centrelink/low-income-health-care-card

Depending on your area there are certain services and support groups that are free. MiFSA and Mind are two of these that have support workers that can help. To find out more about PND Support groups you could try contacting PANDA here - http://www.panda.org.au/practical-information/support-services/postnatal-depression-support-groups

You may also like to consider alternative therapies. There has been a lot of research showing that people with PND have benefited from this, although I would highly recommend you having a chat with your Psychiatrist first before trying anything incase it conflicts with your current medication. There is some information here from the PANDA website as well - http://www.panda.org.au/practical-information/support-services/alternative-therapies

Other therapies that people have found helpful have been more along the self-help line. Things such as books, podcasts, movies, relaxation practices or exercise can be effective. What works for one person may not work for another. Also important to surround yourself with a good support team; you mentioned your Doctor, Psychologist and Psychiatrist but I'm not sure if you have family and friends or neighbours who can help as well.

Hope this is helpful