Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Lost_Girl]

Why did Van Gogh paint?

Because he didn't have an ear for music.

[pipsy]

True story. Years ago a friend of mine and her hubby had a queen size bed they decided to sell after purchasing a water bed. They duly advertised the bed, a chap phoned to inquire, made arrangements to come have a look. At this stage wifey was inside, hubby was outside. Wife had taken the phone call. Wife rushes outside, yells to hubby, 'Honey if the man tries to get me down on the bed, how much should I take off?'. Hubby (for some strange reason does not answer).

Lynda.

[Lost_Girl]

Ha! Nice one Lynda

[pipsy]

Well it's said, fact is stranger than fiction.

[Gruffudd]

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.

It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

[Just Sara]

Ha ha ha, he he he, gawd! So needed a laugh...Rob you tickle me. You too Blue...so good. Lynda...priceless! Got to pass on the love...my sister will so appreciate this humour.

Cheers...Dizzy x

[Gruffudd]

Why was Cinderella so lousy at baseball?

Who could blame her? She had a pumpkin for a coach and she was always running away from the ball.

[Lost_Girl]

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

[Gruffudd]

Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?

He saw the salad dressing.

[Clues_Of_Blue]

How many software technicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. It's a hardware problem.