Worst Joke Wednesday

[Neil_1]

Hi all

I know a while back there was a thread with some jokes on it - just to try and lighten the load for folk and to provide a few jolly japes and spiffy spifferoons (those words etched in my memory bank from the late and great Kenny Everitt).  However, I was far to lazy to try and find the other thread, so thought I'd start up a new one WJW.

Here we go people, something to start you off with:

"When I was a small boy, I had a dog named Tax.  I'd open the door and "Income Tax""

"That very same year, I had a bird called Enza.  I'd open the window and "Influenza"

Now, they can't be done on any other day - for it is after all, Worst Joke Wednesday.

See if you can beat either of those?

[Gruffudd]

A bear walks into a bar and says "I'll have a... beer", the bartender asks "why the big pause?" and the bear says "I was born with them"

[Lost_Girl]

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

[Lost_Girl]

What do you call a belt with a clock built into it?

A waist of time.

[Gruffudd]

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

[Gruffudd]

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?

Because it was a dirty double-crosser!

[Lost_Girl]

Why did the one armed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop.

[Gruffudd]

Why did the rooster run away?

It was chicken

[Elizabeth CP]

I heard this on the radio.

Life is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death!!!

[Gruffudd]

What do you call a chicken crossing the road?

Poultry in motion.

[Gruffudd]

Why was six scared of seven?

Because seven "ate" nine.