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What do you think about following the heart in life and decisions?

randomxx
Community Member

Something l've seriously wondered about my whole life.

Personally l've usually used both through life in making decisions like the obvious logic and trying to be smart in choices but the heart too whenever possible.

Some have been right and some have been wrong.

Some have lead to good things and eventual happiness in that instance but others, not so much or not at all.

l mean life has many decisions and choices that need to be made doesn't it. Some of them will be life changing , some of them just day to day stuff and everything in between.

 

But l've always wondered if it could just be as simple as which one will make us and our loved ones if they're involved in it too ,happy ?

lf any decision we need to make can be cut back to as simply , which one will make us happy , which one does the heart prefer ?

 

Any thoughts, experiences, examples ?

rx

 

 

 

 

 

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi RX,

 

The heart can get the mind in strife. An emotional decision to sign the dotted line with an expensive car can chain you down for many years stopping you from purchasing basic items or small luxury items. In the RAAF as a 18yo that signed up a loan for a car my friends were enjoying outings and buying guitars or dating girls whereas I was stuck in the barracks.

 

After many years of poor financial decisions I asked a friend with solid sensible, wise ideas to come with me to buy a car. We chose one and I thought it would be a good choice, turned out that European car had a injection fault and would cost me dearly. That proved to me - yes, wise to get advice but get it from several people and then choose not just one. It also proved to me that my car choices weren't always incorrect, that cars, used ones especially, is a lottery. This released me from much guilt. I was finally a mere human.

 

Life does have so many choices, daily even. To most they are easy and automatic. I'm happy for them but to some not so easy. I've built 2 caravans, two houses, pulled racing engines apart, used CPR and mostly learned by my mistakes when trained expertise was missing. But, I cant be left on hold with a company for more than a minute or so, therefore appreciate the difficulties members have with making the most basic of choices. At a cafe I take mess than 30 seconds to choose a meal yet a ex partner would choose 2 or 3 dishes then after 5 minutes ask me to choose one then once I chose her dish she'd make that decision then change her mind. I'd ask "why ask me"? lol.

 

So as complicated as you might think you are in making choices, sometimes we are quite normal in that process, normal for us, normal for you and when you face such issues by over thinking that "fault" you are actually self assessing that fault, this might well mean you are self assessing your inabilities which in general is a good thing but too much over thinking can flood your mind and that removes you from the beauty of living life to the full. I do sympathise with you RX however, it isnt easy to make acceptance our biggest challenge.

 

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/acceptance-is-this-our-biggest-challenge/td-p/14769...

 

TonyWK

Thanks very much Tony very appreciated always love your experiences and ways of viewing the world.

l'm pretty good in general, l can usually make very accurate decisions in seconds not that l'm rushing it but l just tend to assess pretty quickly on most things,if not l'll sleep on it or wait until it comes to me if there's time.

But of course there's always a few of those sticky ones in life too isn't there eh that might also be very big,couple of those atm actually.

 

Funny , ex and l travelled and moved all about oz 10yrs or so when we first met, that's what we wanted to do while we were young.

But alternatively though , in my 20s before l met her, l found this cedar house on 6acs 1hr 1/2 from Melb. l knew the day l saw that place , went in,looked around, l could live there my whole life.lt was 110k, way too much for me back then but dad offered to help ha, the things we do. l said nah,l better not,but inside it was just that l was too proud - or stupid, to accept his help. But had of l had a son my age at the time, l would've realized he would've loved to have helped his son move into this place and he probably saw what l saw and that me taking this property that l loved so much so instantly,would've set me up for life.

That one decision changed my whole life forever but l wouldn't say for the better really,probably the worse in most ways.

l may have even still met my wife anyway even if l did buy that place bc later on we actually met anyway not far from there.

 

At any rate, the heart knew just how big that property was and just what it would mean for my life,l knew it even then. l also knew l would manage to pay for it l knew it would be cheap as chips in 10yrs time and l was young, there was plenty of time to work and get on top of things. But l let my head and all the logic and pride and rubbish , over rule.

Often even now, still think about the what if's.

 

But of course, there's been other big decisions through life since that like that car loan or yours, the heart would've loved but had of l gone ahead would've brought myself undone for sure so using the head avoided that.