In hospital geoff

geoff · ‎08-02-2015

Geoff in hospital trying to use my iPhone and login if and getting to BB is atrocious for me and even whatI type isn't correct so I am going to this phone away when I get out and CHirstopher hope I spelt it correct I a. Going to.be disappointed if I miss the bus in my area as I'm not even sure I will be of here. I. have tried the enlarger the screen but that's useless to me so all up I'm sore and frustrated and missing the site bugger it Geoff

pipsy · ‎23-02-2015

Hi Geoff, hope you had a good weekend. How's the walking going? I had a talk with L last night and, to my surprise, I 'knew' when to leave well alone. He has only got about another 11 shifts to go till 24th March when he goes on leave. He was asking me when my next councilor appointment is. It's Tuesday March 3rd, actually. He is going to visit his family then, then he isn't going down for 2 weeks on his sister's birthday. I asked him if they knew when he starts his leave and he said yes. I said to him (very cautiously) what if they demand he goes down more often. He basically said, they can want. Whether he has the courage of his convictions will be determined by how often he does visit them. I get the impression he wants to make a life with me, but doesn't want to unduly hurt them. He sort of said they are starting to annoy him with their rubbish, he didn't go into any detail and I didn't ask him. He seems happier and more content to be at home and I feel he is starting to see them as a rather unpleasant duty, sad that they make him feel this. He did say they're not ready to see me, I don't care as I have no great desire to spend time with them. I'm happier and stronger and I think L sees this change, he has actually commented on it. I don't feel I've 'won' or they've 'lost', it's just 'life'. My life is so fulfilled and strong, I'm a different person. Cheers and much love. P. xxx

pipsy · ‎24-02-2015

Hi Geoff, hope all is well. I uploaded my photo online with BB, but, as yet, haven't seen it. How long will it be before it is posted? I was asked by our minister to write my story for a project. I gave only a brief outline of how betrayed I felt last year when I first contacted you. The best part was, I felt no animosity at all, I didn't name anyone, last year I would've. I have come so far with your help, I feel no anger, the depression has lifted. I do know, for my own peace of mind, I've made the right decision as far as L's parents are concerned, not to have any contact with them. I feel so sorry for them that their actions have driven me away. I don't think they have many (if any) real close friends. They do have visitors, but no-one (to my knowledge) ever offers to take them shopping. Isn't that sad, when you think about it. They rely almost solely on their daughter and resent her friendship with anyone, looking on it as taking her away from them. My heart actually goes out to them. I see my councilor Tuesday, hope she'll be pleased with how far I've come. Take care. Much love P.xxx

Chris_B · ‎24-02-2015

Hi Pipsy, sorry but we don't have your photo.

To upload it, you need to go above into 'My account' which will bring up your Member profile page. The fourth option down is 'Change profile image', where you can upload your picture.

If you are still having problems uploading, send your picture to me in an email and we can sort it out for you.

geoff · ‎25-02-2015

dear Pipsy, well aren't you a lovely person, and goodness me why have you waited so long to put your face on the site, is that why I haven't heard from you, just a little shy, goodness me we are both in our 60's.

How is everything going.

Look forward to hear back from you. L Geoff. xx

pipsy · ‎25-02-2015

Hi Geoff. Thank you for the nice compliment. I did write to ask how things were with you, but I expect you've been busy with other urgent matters. Are you still walking? I must say, I've missed hearing from you. I guess I am a bit shy camera wise. That's a hang up from being told how plain and unattractive I was from verbally abusive parents. Don't worry, I'm completely over that, but still a bit camera shy. Everything is going well, I have 'connected' with a lady at church who is really nice. Bit concerned I may 'blow' it as I tend to get a bit 'heavy' due to not knowing how to make friends because of lack of confidence. Couldn't take friends home as a child, therefore didn't make them easily. L and I getting on well, although I feel as though I'm 'leaving' him behind because of returning to church. He's not interested, so I can't discuss anything with him. He just says he supports me with anything I want to do. I still feel he doesn't know what real love is. My new friend at church has given me some guidelines which I've taken on board. I see my councilor Tuesday, wonder if she'll see any difference in me. Cheers and have a lovely day. Love Pipsy. xxx

Neil_1 · ‎25-02-2015

Hi Geoff

I just wanted to chip in and say “Hi”, but also to comment to you on Basil’s awesome post to you.

In some shape or form, you have helped him in the past and it really touched me deeply when I read it – so I can only imagine how chuffed you would have been to read his words as well.

Maybe it was through your advice to another person and Basil read it and it proved to be something very useful and vital to him at the time. Either way, it is fantastic to know that by being here, you’re making a difference. But then I always knew that about you. 🙂

I know your recovery may be a hard one, but I hope that everything is going along as you are hoping for.

Cheers

Neil

pipsy · ‎27-02-2015

Hi Geoff, Pipsy here. Sorry to burden you but I really need to tell you something. I had a bit of a bad night last night. L and I had a slight blow up, nothing serious, but it brought back some bad memories. The way he stood by his parents against me, how we split up because of them. I started questioning my feelings about him. I started dwelling a bit and I cried. I know if he was ever questioned about what happened, he would still take their side and this hurts. We've never talked about what happened, he never went to councilling, I started feeling really let down again. I want things right between us, but I feel there'll always be a shadow between us. Some of his father's arrogance started showing through as well. I have forgiven them, but every so often (like with a toothache) you go back to the pain. I'm feeling better now, and I suppose with time, the memories will fade, so will the hurt, but last night it all came flooding back. We do seem to be stepping along different paths and I don't know what to do. I guess time will tell. Just needed to tell you to 'get it off my chest'. Thanks for listening, as usual. Cheerrs and much love P. xxx

geoff · ‎27-02-2015

dear Pipsy, can I firstly say to Neil a good friend of mine just as you are, that I really appreciate his support so much.

I am about to log off but pleased I had seen this before I have.

Pipsy it will never change while L's parents are alive and I'm so sorry for you that it has brought you to tears, a leopard will never change it's spots, it will always be the same m and d will come first, because they have this domination over him and nothing will be able to change it, it's so hard for you and you were doing well but M/D have again brought you down, they mean nothing to you, and what help have they given you over the past, I don't need to answer that, because we both know.

Well I started driving today I really had to, because when I was depressed 99% of the people disappeared, except my sons and twin and I could include a friend just around the corner, because I had helped him free of charge for years as a builder/handyman, so off I go to do what I have to do unbeknown to my surgeon who hasn't said when I can drive, a bit naughty but will take care.

Will see you in the morning. L Geoff. xx

pipsy · ‎27-02-2015

Thank you for taking the time to write back when I know how unwell you've been. It was selfish of me to unload and I'm so sorry to burden you again. You are right, of course. As far as L and his parents are concerned, it will always be them as a unit. I actually hadn't been letting L's relationship with them upset me that much of late. I've been pretty tied up with church activities, so had been ignoring the 'rubbish' as I call it. It must have been because I was feeling a bit tired and when you're tired, sometimes things can get you down a bit. Please promise me you'll be careful driving, as if anything happens, you know insurance won't cover you. I wish I could be there to drive you, I would hate anything to happen to you. I find it interesting that you drove while depressed. When I felt that bad (which, thankfully isn't often, now), the last thing I want to do is go out. Oh, well, as they say, different strokes for different folks. I have a pretty busy weekend coming up with church activities. I think I'm going out for tea tomorrow night with a family I seemed to have bonded with. They have 3 daughters. Sounds dreadful, but what L is doing, I don't know and don't much care. Not a very Christian attitude, but it's hard to be loving when there's no trust. As you know, we're together but not as a family unit. Have a safe and happy weekend. Much love P. xxx

geoff · ‎28-02-2015

dear Pipsy, you haven't burdened me one bit, because it's always lovely to talk to friends even though it's only on the computer, nothing is any trouble, but I hope that you can laugh and thoroughly enjoy yourself when you go out tonight.

Take care. L Geoff. xx