Seems to me I've had some sort of problem or difficulty sleeping since I can remember.
When I was little, I would fake my naps so I would be allowed up again - I couldn't sleep in a room with light coming in. Not absolutely dark, but pretty close.
As I grew up, day time naps were no longer required, & I was okay, except I enjoyed the late night quiet & would listen for quite a while, or my sis & I would continue talking, & talking. Some nights it may be an hour or 2.
On my own I'd listen & feel at that late hour, much better than I did at other times of the day when the household was more active.
I liked to sleep, dream, or lay down & be still, regulating my breathing, so people thought I was asleep. Sometimes I experienced my body sort of disappear, or I could think myself in a different position & be surprised when I became aware I was not in that position. I could have waking dreams then, too.
I began in my late teens to actively wake myself up, simply by telling myself to get up at 6am, & I would. I wanted to get up & leave the house before my (ex-)step-mother got up. That worked fine for months.
I didn't used to be bothered if some nights I didn't sleep. Once I didn't sleep for 3 days. Now I'm older, & I feel the effects of not sleeping.
Then there were also times I could easily sleep 10hrs at night.
At some point I decided I wanted to sleep in a lit room,/daytime & gradually, practising my pretend sleep, being able to physically relax as I did then, I began to be able to do that.
For some years I've been up late, not able to get to sleep easily anymore, due to hot, cold, pain, tinnitus, phosphenes, my nose, too much thinking, memories & emotions coming up , sometimes even when I've got a book or music playing, I'm just too uncomfortable. I wake two or three times, sometimes not able to get back to sleep.
It used to be enough to get a short snooze, no more than 2 hrs, & I'd be okay. But not recently. This is one thing which is worse since my recent diagnosis. I get so suddenly tired I must sleep I get cranky as a two-yr-old in need of a nap. & now I'm napping once or twice, more than 2 hours, often 3 -4 hours. & I'll be tired again just a few hours later. At night I'm getting to sleep easier, but waking 4 - 5 hours later. I have a totally wonky sleep cycle.
This morning I woke at around 3am due to neighbours quarrel. I couldn't get back to sleep properly, dozing for another 2hrs, then tossing for another, & then I gave up & got up.
🙀mmMekitty
