A Place for People Alone Over the Festive Season

[Eagle Ray]

Hi, I just thought I’d start a thread for those of us who will be alone on Christmas Day or during the festive season generally and would like somewhere to chat and connect.

I will most likely have a quiet Christmas Day at home, cooking some simple meals as I usually do and enjoy my hobbies such as photography and photo editing. I might go for a swim in the ocean.

Feel free to connect here on Christmas Day or over the festive period if you are alone and would like somewhere to chat. You might like to share how you are making it an enjoyable time or reflective time or whatever it is for you. Feel free to share anything festive you are doing and also feel free to share if you are not doing festive activities. Also, feel free to share if you are with others on Christmas Day but feeling a bit lonely as I know that can happen sometimes too.

Wishing everyone a peaceful time over the holiday season 🤗

Eagle Ray

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Beaser,

Happy New Year to you too.

I’m so sorry it’s been difficult but I’m really glad you reached out for help. The change of year can be a difficult time. I hope you’re doing ok? I hope today is a better day and you can find some nice things to do. It’s a mild, sunny day here. I woke up at sunrise and saw the sky was bright red then fell back to sleep.

We are always here for you if you need a chat. I think it’s hard being on your own and I know I I’m feeling that. I hope maybe this year you can find more ways of connection that can lift you and support you. I think for me this year is going be about greater connection and being less isolated.

Take good care of yourself and sending you a big hug 🤗 

ER

[Eagle Ray]

Happy New Year to you too rx.

I can relate to what you say with your town and totally get still not feeling part of it. I’ve been here nearly 3 years but I’m quite sure 9 years or more would feel the same. I do have friendly interactions with particular people at particular places here, but I just don’t feel part of it and that I’ll always be drifting on my own. I’d rather be travelling like you or in the city where I have more connections and have realised I already feel more connected. But it could be too that there is a town I’d feel more belonging in and this was really not the right town for me.

It’s interesting coming into a town isn’t it after being on the open road. It must have been a bigger one with a Hungry Jacks. It’s good to move on when that feels right. I find it so interesting how different towns have different characters. Here in WA it’s a vast land and there can be a long distance between towns. It can be quite bizarre in remote areas as you drive through vast spaces of cleared farmland or stretches of low scrub or bushland. Then all of a sudden you’re in a town with all its structures - shops, town hall, sports oval, industrial area etc, then as soon as you’re out you’re back in the wide open spaces again for quite a while.

It can be hard explaining what you’re doing to others, especially family who don’t always get it. But the important thing is to be doing what’s right for you. Hopefully, as you say, by explaining it to a few already it will get passed around and you won’t have to keep explaining. It’s good to go your own way, so to speak, and follow your heart and intuition about what you need right now. It’s so easy to get caught in the expectations of others about what we should or shouldn’t do with ourselves and I know I’ve got caught up in that in past. But I’m feeling more connected in my heart now to what’s right for me and I want to follow that going forward and live aligned with myself. I feel living in alignment with ourselves is where we find peace.

I hope you enjoy today and the beginning of the new year. May it be a good one rx.

Hugs,

ER

[randomxx]

Yep may it be hey , thx er.

The hearts a funny thing isn't it. My town was a tourist town too so all the droges weren't local anyway and all brought their own clans. For me it was always nice to see new people and the mix for once though , well mostly, except they take over and spoil your bliss to right. But then the locals were always locals and me l was somewhere in between the two coming from the city .

But l think what your thinking too and that it's not all , some towns have their feel and people and ways that suits you better , l always knew where l'd moved to wasn't my fit and could see the people in a min flat. But l also had a great house and views and it was close to my daughter while she grew up - my main concern. So for the time l'd thought even though l know l won't fit in, we'll at least be able to live really nicely within our own place and it had a great shopping center too so they were all the basics . D and l agreed that if l or we still like it there later we'd stay but if not we'd move on.

Well she wants to get out of the whole area now and l wasn't feeling it either sooo.

Could imagine with wa, big big place, have been there but yrs ago Perth would be a different place now. Really liked Perth though but l missed the east.

Your town may exist , that's the dilemma isn't it, it's just gotta be the right one maybe. We've got what we call central Vic , it's full of people from all over and with a lot of alternative going on , much more my style than over on the coast where l was- although love the coast so much but where we were was a bit conservative for me  .

This trip now is half an experiment seeing how l feel being away from the coast and inland again, bc l'll prob go to the central Vic areas later is my thoughts.

Can't go back to Melb wouldn't want to and couldn't afford it anyway but l do have a spot in mind that is a def mix that will suit me much better.

Maybe if your not 100% sure as yet well, maybe you could stick around another yr, it's only a yr, and go check out some other areas, think on it all more, that's what l'd been doing before l left.

Apart from the coastal aspect l think l'm good to go, still struggling a bit with that one but they're either great towns and too dear or crappy ones middle of nowhere but cheap enough.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

 l relate to what you say about not minding the influx of tourists. I’m enjoying more people being in the town at the moment. It’s nice having a wider diversity of people and with their holiday energy too. They’re here to relax and enjoy themselves. It’s actually nice for places like the supermarket to be a bit busier and they have stocked up for the tourists. Some shelves run bare at other times and it can be hard getting what you’re after.

It sounds like your town definitely served a purpose and was a good place for you and your daughter in those years. There are definitely pros and cons anywhere. I think it will take me like a year before I can really move anyway so I will still enjoy and make the most of where I am while I can. There are things I deeply appreciate about it, but no matter what I continue to feel lonely and isolated. Maybe that will change if I really manage to make some good connections this year. But I feel this place is probably too much for me to manage too. I nearly moved to a smaller, more basic unit in another town and looking back I can see that would have been more manageable. That was quite new too whereas this unit is old and I know is going to present more and more problems over time. Quite a few things have broken, rusted through etc since I got here. The most serious was a bracket rusting through holding up the hot water storage tank. The thing nearly collapsed and would have dragged a wall down with it which would have also torn asbestos sheeting. Luckily I was able to get a handyman to fix it in 24 hours while I propped it up. I just don’t want the worry of this place going forward.

Yes, Perth is a beautiful city but very isolated. Growing up I never thought of being isolated. But I’m more aware of it now. Over east you are relatively close to several other cities and many more towns, plus even NZ. I even had thoughts of moving to Melbourne and went there in September for 5 days but it feels a lot more effort again to move interstate and I do have people in Perth I feel meaningfully connected to who I would miss. As you say, it can be expensive in Melbourne and I’d be looking at a small one bedroom unit or bedsit if I was there. But housing prices have skyrocketed in Perth too.

I understand the dilemma trying to weigh up the coast vs inland. Coastal areas are very expensive here now too and a lot of people are priced out of it. If I sell this place I know I won’t be able to afford to get another place here. Apparently some inland towns here have started to have a bit of a mini boom as people realise they can get more affordable housing. So people wanting to leave the city are opting for some of those places now. I’ve read about some of those Victorian inland towns that are on the alternative side with good arts scenes and things going on. I like the good regional public transport there too. It’s much easier to get on a train and travel between places. There’s only very limited rail here and the buses are ok, but I prefer being on a train. I love country driving too but I do like how interconnected Victoria is and sometimes it’s relaxing to just be on a train. I went to Geelong on the train and I’d like to explore more of Victoria and other parts of Australia that way.

Anyway, keep enjoying your journey. I think it will likely gradually become clearer over time where your place might be. It’s good to chat with someone else who’s in that kind of liminal space of figuring out where to go. I think the important thing is to enjoy the journey on the way. I’m trying to remember that each day.

ER

[randomxx]

Yeah it did , the place did it's job and in most ways it was a pleasure being there even if a bit empty on the inside. l always made a point of enjoying what it offered like the views and the peace or like the ease of just living in a simple smaller town and coming home to it after being away on work or up at gf's in Sydney, it was always a pleasure to come home to. But my place was too big too and the work it took was a real pain , alone 1/2 that size would've done me and l know how you feel. lt wasn't too bad when gf or d were about but v often it was just me on my own and often mths a time , place was too much.

Nice to hear your not rushing off then anyway , gives you time , the new place and town time, time to weigh things up and check stuff out, get your bearings.

l kind of used the 9yrs at mine in that way too but also made the most of just enjoying the goods too.

That inland or cheaper town stuffs been happening over here a lot too , often the cheapest towns around wind up turning out the best later on and with better people coming from all over to try and get a start yaknow, see a lot of that over here. Hoped it might happen to my town where l was and actually there were heaps of new people moving up to it of late.

Funny you mention rail bc we had hardly any buses but we did have trains just up the road and you could go to anywhere on that thing.  l always loved having it bc well my d was using it a lot before she could drive but l just love trains.

Grew up in Melb with a train line near by so while everyone else complained about the noise it always made me feel at home ha ha.

But yeah it is too and eh, gotta chuckle about the similarities too right.  And yep , will do , l mainly just wanted a damn good break and a rest tbh, from life , work and all the trappings for awhile yaknow. l've pretty well known what l wanna do later, l just want a damn good rest first .

Take care.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

It sounds like you've had a similar situation with your place just not quite suiting your needs. I know I was too idealistic and thought I could manage my place. But even just managing the garden I find difficult, and I am someone who loves gardening and gardens. But I have to say the age of the place and its maintenance issues bother me even more. It's good, however, that you were able to enjoy your place and town and make the most of it while there too. I think that's a really good glass-half-full approach, because there are always pluses. At the same time it's like you knew when it was ready to pull up stumps and head off on your current journey. Change can be a really good thing and I think we all need forms of renewal at different times.

Some of the inland towns here have had noticeable renewals just in the past couple of years. I think there are people who wanted to move out of the city initially because of Covid but perhaps more than ever now because of the cost of housing. I think I'll visit a few towns to get a feel for them, even though my primary drive now seems to be to go back to the city. What I do love and miss about the city are some of the things you can do like go to the outdoor cinema in summer or a wider range of social and entertainment options. I'm definitely a quiet person but I still enjoy going out to things like concerts and events from time to time. But I have been in extreme social isolation over the last few years and just haven't been doing any of those things. I'm wanting to reach out into the world more.

I love trains too. They just feel nicer to be on than buses. Here the only regional train lines are to Kalgoorlie and Bunbury. That's not much at all for a massive state. In Victoria it's like you can be in Melbourne and jump on a train and easily be heading off to all these different destinations. I just loved the fact I could pop down to Geelong and would like to head off on some of the other train lines. It just feels easier to get around there if you don't have a car. The regional buses here take a long time which is understandable as they make multiple stops along the way. I can't say I've enjoyed regional bus travel all that much when I've done it but put me on a train and I'm fine.

I think it's really wise for you to take that break from work and those trappings of life. Some people never do and just keep pushing on through which often negatively impacts their mental and physical health. It's so important in life to follow where your heart and spirit need to go.

You take care too,

ER

[quirkywords]

Just checking whether no one is letting to much pressure on themselves to change their life and make resolutions they can’t keep. 
I know this time of year we often look for a clean slate.  Best  wishes to all.

[Beaser]

Thanks QR

No big resolutions for me.   Just a day at a time.    

My wish is that everyone can be as settled and content as possible.

My best wishes to you and all at BB

Beaser

[randomxx]

Thanks quirk and nope , same , none for me either don't believe in them tbh, only bc it's usually seemed the worst time to make any and never works anyway.

And thx to you to Beaser, that's a really nice wish from you and l'd like to wish the same to all as well.

The best to all.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Quirky, Beaser and rx,

I haven’t been thinking in terms of resolutions. I don’t make them either. I’ve just been planning how to improve my life and mental and physical health, and realising the things that need to change to create that. But they are not resolutions as in a pressure to do this or that by a certain date. It’s more just trying to move in the right direction. At the same time I’m learning to let go more too and find peace in the present. My big thing at the moment is feeling a need for greater connection with others having been very isolated in recent years. But again it’s something I’m easing myself into at a pace I can handle.

Yes, that’s a lovely thought Beaser, that we are all as settled and content as possible. I hope you find that too.

Best wishes to all,

ER