A Place for People Alone Over the Festive Season

Eagle Ray

Hi, I just thought I’d start a thread for those of us who will be alone on Christmas Day or during the festive season generally and would like somewhere to chat and connect.

I will most likely have a quiet Christmas Day at home, cooking some simple meals as I usually do and enjoy my hobbies such as photography and photo editing. I might go for a swim in the ocean.

Feel free to connect here on Christmas Day or over the festive period if you are alone and would like somewhere to chat. You might like to share how you are making it an enjoyable time or reflective time or whatever it is for you. Feel free to share anything festive you are doing and also feel free to share if you are not doing festive activities. Also, feel free to share if you are with others on Christmas Day but feeling a bit lonely as I know that can happen sometimes too.

Wishing everyone a peaceful time over the holiday season 🤗

Eagle Ray

Beaser

Thanks MeKitty

Yeh staying in a swish hotel can pretty relaxing at times. I think with my budget though its more a tent on the Murray River. LOL.

Its great you made up your own Christmas lunch and an ice cream cone.

Sending you kikndness today

Beaser

Eagle Ray

Thanks Beaser,

I think I’m a bit better today. I’m sorry you feel that distance with family too. I know what you mean about loving them and wanting the best for them but feeling the distance at the same time.

I’m sitting in my backyard drinking coffee at the moment. The baby galahs are really raucous in the trees opposite 😂 I’m having issues with triggers in my home, especially with what I think are some hidden dampness issues and it affects my respiratory system. So it’s much nicer being outside. Even if I can do a lot to remediate the issues I think it’s not going to completely go away. I have a medical condition that’s triggered by it so I think I will have to move. But coming to terms with that now. I will probably be moving back to the city. It will take a while to organise though.

You mentioning the cricket reminds me of the summers of my childhood. Perth summers were hot and we didn’t have aircon back then. So summer days involved all the curtains being closed to keep out the heat and lying in front of the TV watching the cricket. I remember the sound of the clink of the bat on ball and the sleepy sound of the commentators’ voices. Some years we’d be at my uncle’s farm and we’d have cricket games with our cousins who were obsessed with cricket. I was quite good at left-armed bowling though a bit wild 🤪 That was back in the 80s. I still remember so many of the test cricketers names from that time.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your day. I’m planning to visit a neighbouring town as it feels good to get out of my town for a bit and I’ll do some grocery shopping there.

Best wishes and kindness to you too,

ER

indigo22

Hi ER,

It's good to hear you had a pleasant text conversation with your brother, perhaps things might change a bit going forward, I do hope so for your sake. I guess the upcoming visit will be the testing ground for how much has changed. Will be interested to hear how it goes.

Hope you are having a good day,

indigo 💜

Eagle Ray

Thank you kindly indigo 🙏

It’s like I have to set some firm boundaries for him to actually be kinder and more aware in how he is towards me. It’s not easy as I know his partner is so controlling. It upset me to hear him sounding so emotionally vulnerable on the phone the other night. I think he was worried I’m going to completely cut ties with him, which I have actually got close to because the whole issue with his partner has been so distressing over time to deal with. But I love my brother and in my heart I don’t want to cut ties but have felt like I at least need some boundaries and distance because of the situation. I feel like he’s trapped in a toxic relationship but there’s nothing I can do about that. I know if he allows himself to fully grasp that reality he’ll likely have yet another massive breakdown like he’s had in the past. It’s like this untenable, horrible situation but I’m having to practise radical acceptance that it is what it is.

I hope you’ve been having some good days indigo and enjoying the festive season. Take care and thank you again for your support ☺️

randomxx

Hi to all .

Hey er , how you doin? Hope you got through the wk ok.

So your thinking about going back to the city hey , or ?

All cool if your not ready to get into it atm though, v understandable. How was it going back for a visit last wk ?

Best to all

rx

Eagle Ray

Hey rx and wave to everyone,

I'm ok, well not brilliant, but surviving. I was great when I was in the city but have plunged into depression since returning here. I have people I feel meaningfully connected to in the city but I'm so lonely here. But I've also had to come off certain medication leading to a crash in hormones and that is really starting to affect me now. And I just can't get adequate medical help so I'm having to try and solve it on my own.

Anyway, the city was great for me. I've surprised myself in that I was so sure I didn't want to live in the city anymore. But I really want human connection and that is so hard to find in this town. There was a lovely couple who moved here with their kids and I got to know them. They ran a cafe a bit out of town. But they've packed up and left already as they weren't happy here either. They felt it wasn't the best for their kids and I could tell they didn't feel happy or connected here. They were here a shorter time than me I think. I really don't want to be lonely anymore and there's so many more people to actually meet and connect with in the city. In WA there's really only one city. I've thought about the bigger regional centres but that isn't feeling right either. It's going to be a long hard slog though getting it together. My place needs maintenance to be sold and I'm doing it all on my own when I'm really not well. I have a lot of stuff to sort before I could move too. So it feels like a huge mountain ahead of me, but I think I have to start climbing it.

Did you move on Friday as planned rx? I hope the weather has cooled off and you've found a good place to go. One thing about being on the move, I think it helps somehow rather than feeling like you are tied to one place. I feel so much better when I get in my car and drive off to other places. I love just being on country roads, especially backroads. I like getting off the main highways. Is that something you do a bit of as you travel around?

I hope you've got a peaceful spot now wherever you are. All the best,

ER

randomxx

Sorry about that getting back feeling and to now the worries it sets off in order to get things back to how you'd like them and everything moving. Could you manage to just see the hols out first , try to relax for a bit first and put things into the next yr basket just for now.

But yeah l just finished doing all that 3mths ago too, packing up my house my business the workshop, everything- thankfully l didn't have to do anything to the house itself though. Never been so tired so if you can just enjoy some time first, form a bit of a plan for later and some ideas, prepare mentally, it really helped me. Shame really, not a lot on right now as you know and nothin else to do ha ha if l could l'd come give you a hand, bit of a drive from here though right.

But your probably right about where your at. l actually talked about my town here at bb 4 or 5yrs ago with the same dilemma . Everyone said ahhh- get out. Well while my daughter was growing up l gave it another 5yrs but nothing changed. l did kind of really grow to like it there though actually, unfortunately it was just that nothing changed. Still never met anyone made no friends still didn't fit in so if you feel that's what you need to do then your probably right.

l have missed y town a little since l've left l was there nearly 9yrs, but at the same time l've excepted that nothing would've changed if l had've stayed anyway so.

And thanks very much too for the lovely thoughts and wishes , very appreciated.

l'm the back road master ha ha. Yep l left Frid , smack in the middle of holiday period n Christmas, worst time to go anywhere and l rarely do this time of yr. But l must say , l excelled ha ha. Throw google out the window give me my atlas and l'll find a way. l only crossed one major hwy took me 10mins just to get across the thing waiting on 10k of boats, caravans and packed up cars near bumper to bumper. But l've had the most beautiful drive over and through the country side, roads almost to myself all the way and managed to totally avoid all major towns, it's been so nice. l'm still not actually there yet, found a few nice stops and got sidetracked, maybe tomorrow ha ha. But eh, it's 12 degrees cooler now than where l was, thanking the Gods for that one too.

You take care and some time out if you can too hey.

rx

Eagle Ray

Thanks rx,

I think you’re right, I should just enjoy the rest of 2024. I think I do need to prepare mentally. My mum died suddenly just before I moved here and I suddenly had her and dad’s stuff unexpectedly too. My brother and I dealt with some of it already but I still have stuff in boxes here I’ve been unable to go through. It’s really emotional for me and so it’s another hurdle with moving. I don’t feel I can keep and carry most of it with me but I find it so extremely hard to go through it. Yet, realistically, I can’t keep lugging it around and I do need to let most of it go, especially as I’ll most likely be moving to a smaller unit.

It’s interesting your experience with your town too. I think I know what you mean about nothing really changing. It feels that way here too. I can feel I don’t want to spend the rest of my life here. On paper it seems ideal - no traffic, I can walk to all local shops, there’s a beautiful swimming beach that isn’t crowded like the city and I have beautiful nature places all around. But it’s the difficulty in making connections that’s getting to me. People are mostly either long term residents of the area or retirees who’ve moved here as a couple, so they at least have each other.

I’m glad you’ve had such a beautiful drive and excelled at dealing with the festive season roads, including finding the quieter back roads. Yes, I love good old-fashioned maps. I think it’s good to have physical road maps on hand, should the technology fail or get it wrong, which it can do. I’ve got this picture of you patiently waiting to cross the major highway as an endless stream of boats, caravans and packed cars go by. It’s such a completely different experience getting away from those major highways, isn’t it. It’s good to be on your own timeframe. There’s no set time to be somewhere. To me that’s the ideal way to travel. It’s wonderful it’s cooler too now.

Well I hope today is a good day for you rx. The weather has been on the cool side here.

You take care too and happy travels.

ER

Beaser

Happy New Year to all .

I must admit it hasnt been too good for me. Ive struggled with so many things and had to seek some help. I hope everyone is well and has the best possible year.

Beaser

randomxx

Hi to all and happy happy new yr too, well we can dream right.

Do know how you feel er, with your parents l still find it hard but won't go there.

And your town sounds like mine, pretty well the same sort of thing. Trouble was l never really had any life there especially people wise they all kept to their own circles and families, lives - nice for them but not so great if your an outsider though and l hear you believe me. God almighty even at nearly 9yrs , l was sort of a local finally, l'd get a few smiles and familiarity just doing my business out and about but that's as deep as it went.

l use to think l'm sort of a local finally, but then l'm also still not even close.What do l do just keep existing for another 9yrs, ya know.

But yeah funny, that hwy l came to was like a twilight zone. l'd just come out of hours on this beautiful peaceful back road and passing through cute little towns and then it was like wham. WT !

All l had to do was get across the thing and l'd then be back to la la land ha ha. But eh, the old google did save the day with one town, big and v, v busy looking just like that hwy but l'd come into it from around the outside thk God. Saw Hungry Jacks got some lunch and had a rest, then l typed the next town/direction into maps and she had me outa there in 15mins. l would've had no clue but l just wanted out so what a feeling that was.

One of the hardest things though has been explaining what l'm doing to family or anyone from home if l talk to anyone now. l'm usually a great skimmer but on this one they've all tended to prod around further and wanting to know the ins and outs. And no one can understand why l moved either or that l just wanted a damn pause and escape for awhile after that now first.

So right when the last thing l've felt like is explaining myself, l've wound up explaining myself . Anywayyy, ended up going into it with a few of them so hopefully that will spread itself from there now and that'll be that.

rx