zoom anxiety

[Amanda2000]

Whenever I have a zoom meeting for work, I just worry so much beforehand and rehearse what I'm going to say over and over again in my head all weekend. I've tried various things like not looking at myself on the screen etc. but nothing seems to help. It's the feeling of "being watched" that gets me. During the meeting, I feel like I'm shaking/heart racing/unusual voice and then I worry that the others will notice my strange behaviour. Public speaking has always made me nervous but zoom seems to be worse for me. I know my anxiety is so unnecessary but I just cannot rationalise within myself to calm down.

[Aussie.Girl]

Sorry you are feeling this way. I always feel awkward on Zoom calls too, but not to the same extent. 

I think a lot of people dislike being watched/filmed if that helps at all. 

Could you do something or fiddle with something in your lap to distract/soothe yourself? Maybe patting a dog/cat if you have one?

Or maybe try having another window open on the computer so you can look at something aside from your own reflection?

You could also try 'practicing' zoom calls with a trusted friend or family member, just having an everyday conversation to get used to watching yourself speak on camera. 

I apologise if these suggestion aren't very helpful. I hope you find something that helps relieve your anxiety. 

[alym20]

Hey Amanda,

I struggle with zoom anxiety too and it can be really overwhelming.

Something that helps me is to having something to fidget with or hold and making sure I am in a calm space (i.e. facing a window or outside). Also having a bottle of water next to you can be helpful as I know I can get quite parched from the anxiety. 

Try to remind yourself that it is just a screen and you have the option to leave at any time, whilst this may not always be possible it helps to know that you are not trapped and have control in the situation. 

All the best and hope this can help : )

[Amanda2000]

Hi Aussie.Girl

Thank you for your reply. I know it is such a silly worry but I start feeling tense automatically. The "covid way of life" has given me many triggers. I probably have GAD now. There's always something that worries me.

Some days are not so bad. But today was just impossible. Tomorrow will be a new beginning 🙂

[Amanda2000]

Hey alym20

Relieved to hear that you can relate to my issue. I know it's such a silly worry but I just cannot shake it off.

For my work-meetings, about once a month we need to give a personal update. Just something short but it gets me every time. I try to treat it like I'm doing a stand-up comedy routine. It's a good distraction for me to make my audience/co-workers laugh. It's just myself that worries for no reason. Very frustrating.

[geoff]

Hello Amanda, being on zoom can really be a worry for you, as it is for many other people, especially while you aren't talking, you fear what other people think of you, and notice any eye movement that may not happen at all, only when you're on a screen where half a dozen other people are watching you.

You are who you are, nobody can take this away from you and what you have to say is just as important as what anyone else has to say.

Don't forget that even the most prolific public speakers still get nervous before they speak and sometimes this isn't so bad, because it makes them aware of what's going on around them.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Flop]

Hello Amanda,

I'll start off by saying that I've never had a zoom call, nor one in a professional capacity, but I've had plenty of FaceTimes and I'm super fidgety even with someone I'm comfortable with. I definitely don't like feeling like someone's watching my every move or worry if I look weird for a moment but that's a fear I think I mostly put behind me. I feel as though you put a lot of worry on yourself because there's both a set date and it's for work, despite the general discomfort I don't think you'd dread a video call with a close family member you're happy to talk to.

I don't think your worry is silly at all, there's a chance even your coworkers feel similar when the dates are closing in. Remember that you've done this before and have never had any problems conducting yourself and getting your information across, it sounds like you actually do a really good job and the comedy routine sounds like a fun idea.

My advice, is to remember we're all just people and you've got nothing to prove to anyone, except yourself, and you ARE the living proof as you've done it time and time again. Allow yourself to think these anxious thoughts and feel these anxious feelings and don't fight against them. They too will pass. The more you fight them the more they'll want to persist. I know it isn't that easy, but if you find a way to accept these emotions for what they are; your nervous system firing off signs that you're in danger when you're totally safe and more than qualified for what you're up against, maybe it won't seem as dreadful to deal with.

I hope any of this was of help and I truly hope for the best. Good luck 🙂 

[Mark Z.]

Hi Amanda2000,

I'm sorry for your challenge. But it's not silly at all, don't blame yourself or give yourself pressure. 

Do you want to share, if you have social anxiety in general, and workplace anxiety before the pandemic?

If you can choose to work from office more and it'll make you feel better, you can go to your office more frequently. Will it help a bit?

Mark