Should I quit my job?

[Aussie.Girl]

I was working as a dog bather/trainee groomer at a grooming salon and really enjoyed it. Unfortunately that salon has since closed, but one of the groomers started up another business and offered me a job with her. 

We worked well together at the other salon, but now that she is the boss:

- She is booking far more dogs than we can reasonably get done in one day and expects me to stay 1-2hrs overtime every day to help finish them.

- She went on a 5wk overseas holiday at the last minute and left me 100% alone to handle everything. I have had very limited training as a groomer (due to no time because of the number of dogs) so she is incredibly lucky that I have been grooming my own dogs for years and was able to handle things on my own. 

- She has started complaining about and criticising everything I do. Even things I used to get praised for are 'wrong' now. To be clear, this is not constructive criticism. Examples include openly mocking my work, and saying things like "why are you so slow", "try harder" etc. 

- She complains endlessly if I am 5mins late or have to leave on time. I live an hour's drive (one way) from the new salon, so sometimes traffic is awful and I end up late even when I leave an extra 20mins to get there. She is 5mins away and is regularly 5-10mins late. 

I have tried to explain to her that she either needs to hire more staff or book less dogs, but she insists 'we' can handle it and she doesn't trust anyone else (yet I do everything wrong??). 

The whole situation is stressful and frustrating and has made my anxiety so much worse than it needs to be. 

I want to quit, but I know I would feel awful for leaving when she is so overbooked (because there is no way she could do that many dogs on her own). 

I also know it's her fault that we are so overbooked so idk. I can't keep going the way things are though; something has to change. 

I have already started doing 4 days instead of 5, but she just books the same number of dogs in a shorter time frame so it hasn't really helped. It just increased my overtime. 

Maybe I will tell her I'll stay till the end of the year to train my replacement, and then leave, but I'm not even sure I can tolerate this for that long. 

Any advice would be appreciated.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome,

Based on what you have said, I'd leave the job however there is a number of ways you can go about this and its conditional, if you can afford the loss of income etc to do it.

Firstly, anyone that used to tell me to work faster would get my standard reply "my other speed is slower". Then if they pushed me too hard I'd say " I dont think I can work under these conditions of pressure and unrealistic expectations".

The other thing is it is clear you have consideration for her and her business, you are worried about the workload she would have if you left. Can I suggest that  "charity begins at home". Those people in your life that are not supportive of your efforts do not deserve support from you. The business is her responsibility not yours, you should imo get this is a more accurate viewpoint. It is a fact that in most cases whereby people like yourself that is a "giver" and always worried about other people- are taken for granted.

Re: "I have tried to explain to her that she either needs to hire more staff or book less dogs, but she insists 'we' can handle it and she doesn't trust anyone else (yet I do everything wrong??). " Dont be fooled- its the highest profit margins to make with less staff.

There is a high percentage of business operators that have successful businesses but zero people management skills. That means high turn over. Sad but true.

If you can afford to leave then thats what I would do and not worry about her business that you dont benefit from.

If your anxiety is a concern make sure you visit your GP.

TonyWK

[blues23]

Hi Aussie girl

it sounds like you’re done ( your not sure you can tolerate any more ) believe me I know don’t push yourself if you know your done , your done.  Write a list of pros& cons of the job ( 1 hour commute is not a pro I used to work 50 mins from home and it was a pain , I work close to home now but in a toxic environment but I’m on work cover  due to stress from bullying & injury )  I would make clear to your boss she wants u to work over time u need to be paid for this ,if she wants u to work unreasonable shift loads ( work loads ) that is a breach of ohs standards ,so is unpaid overtime , if you want to go to work safe ,go to fair work find out your rights and give her the facts . If she can’t treat u right ur out . Don’t train anyone new as the vicious circle will continue for the next staff member ( it’s ur bosses mess to clean up so let her do it she does not care about u and is using u to do HER work load . 

[geoff]

Hello Aussie girl, you can't wear yourself into the ground, just so she can make as much profit as possible, because this is when you slowly begin to have problems, which will spiral into the rest of your life.

Perhaps this has already begun and it's not about her profit you need to consider, it's all about your mental health you need to take care of.

She will find a replacement and you need to look after yourself and that's so important for your well being.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[Mark Z.]

Hi Aussie.Girl,

I can tell that you've done everything you can, you've made all possible efforts to make positive changes.

If the way of management still remains the same, yes, it's time to quit, for your own mental health.

You can give your boss a bit longer notice than legally required, it'll be good enough, not necessarily till the end of year. But bear in mind that it's hard to find a new job in Dec or Jan. If you don't have financial challenge, it'll be a good idea to allow yourself to take a break.

Mark

[therising]

Hi Aussie.Girl

Trust your nervous system. If it had a voice, I imagine it would be saying something along the lines of 'This work load is out of control. I can't tolerate this for much longer. You need to either demand change until you get it or get me out of this situation' (aka fight or flight). If your cardiovascular system also had a voice, I imagine it might be saying 'Please, slow down. I'm experiencing way too much pressure (blood pressure)'. The body is such a highly intelligent thing. While it won't communicate with words, it can communicate through feeling. I suppose you could say you can feel what you're body's trying to tell you.

Maybe this is a good time for a double solution. If you can afford to report in sick for a week, this can give you time to manage the dis-ease your mind and body are experiencing plus it will give her a taste of the pressure she simply refuses to imagine. She'll find herself suddenly facing your reality (the amount of work that causing overwhelming unease/dis-ease). Maybe she needs a healthy dose of reality in order for things to change. Personally, I wouldn't ask for leave as you most likely won't get it. Reporting in sick gives her no choice but to grant you leave. Don't give her a choice.

Don't feel bad taking sick leave. Sick leave is all about the recovery process. While most see it as recovering from physical disease, it's really about recovering from dis-ease in general. We can't easily and effectively recover while under stress. This is concept I follow myself. As a mum to 2 teenagers, I've always offered my kids the choice of taking 4 mental health recovery days off a year from school. A handful more if that's what they've needed.

If your body as a whole could speak maybe it's saying 'For god's sake, give me a break', to which you could respond 'Your wish is granted', with one single phone call that gives it a chance to take a week off. Try and ignore the internal dialogue that dictates 'You can't do that!'. Of course you can. You can do anything you set your mind to.

[Aussie.Girl]

Thank you for your replies. It seems like the general consensus is that I should leave for my own wellbeing. To be honest I think I knew that already, but its nice to hear I'm not just being dramatic over nothing. 

In regards to blues23s reply; I am getting paid for the overtime at time and a half. I just dislike working 10hr days instead of 6-8hrs and can't keep doing that forever, especially given the long commute. 

I guess the decision then becomes when and how to leave. 

Taking some sick leave first sounds like a good idea therising, but if it's anything like cutting back to 4days a week I think she will just move all the dogs to when I come back and it will only make it harder then...

Thanks again for your help, I will try to keep you updated.