Why am I the way I am?

[Guest_10110]

For context, I'm a Working Holidaymaker from the USA, and have been in Australia since late October. 

I came here fresh out of uni to make up for a lack of life experience (Most of my early 20s were stolen by the Covid pandemic), get myself out of my comfort zone and make connections with others. I've had some success with those things, but the issues that plagued my old life for many years have caught up with me. Somebody I met dropped a bombshell explaining why I can't attract people to me, and it made me cry, as I've wanted to know the answer for a long time: I speak with a rather whingey tone of voice, which not only displays a lack of confidence, but it takes energy out of people and pushes them away. It's a way of protecting my anxiety, which has become part of my character as a person. I also create worries of potential events that haven't happened yet or may not happen at all. It's always black and white thinking. More than anything else really, it's poor conversational skills. 

Being neurodivergent may have something to do with it (What a bloody curse it is), but I just wish there was a way I could not be such a wreck all the time.  

[idrkwiarn]

Its not your fault that this keeps happening, maybe its the people around you that just need to grow up and accept the fact that people are different in the world. The self judgement and the pressure you put on yourself is also ridiculous but I feel you. You shouldn't let others tell you who you are and instead be yourself. I know it's extremely difficult especially with anxiety, but yeah just be you and try to ignore the comments of others. also you can try go to support groups and talk with others and try to make other connections with like minded people.

[randomxx]

l'd put maybe a different spin on it in some ways.

For a start , Covid's long gone but my d is your age and she found ways to keep on doing her thing and has hardly even mentioned Covid since. lt was life it happened to everyone.

People , you say they say you have an annoying whingey voice well yaknow, there's the Covid thing right there 1st up but there are also things we all have to work on especially conversationally. There's being ourselves yeah sure, ofc , but then sometimes we can be too much this or that thing is if everybody let out the whole of their true selves inside out and every thought , most people would run. There's a social maturity type of thing , timing, tones, things said and not said. it's not not being ourselves just some sort of adjustment, a maturing but sometimes in ways there is at least something we might wanna take some notice of if we keep hearing it from everyone, there's probably something in it.With most people there's only 1 or 2 people in their lives if they're lucky,lucky - whom they can be "totally" themselves , many have none.