Hi
I have came to the conclusion lately that I am dedfinitely not ok and I do really need help. I actually think I may be going totally crazy and OTT.
Quick background, I am 26 years old, lived overseas for about 6 years, I live with my beautiful girlfriend who is extremely caring, makes me breakfast lunch and dinner everyday , funny, a ray of sunshine, also sick Fixable to an extent but nonetheless stressfull for young human beings like us.I am an obsessed fisherman so always spend my days outdoors and surfing too. I work as a programmer in IT and make websites and apps as a trade. Work isn't really stressfull and I wouldn't say I LOVE it but I am really good at it so it pays the bills really well. Every now and again I do get unhappy about it but I guess it is standard for any adults ...
Money isn't a stressfull situation for me thanks to my job so I can rule that out of my equation.
Lately I have been overthinking everything . I have everything anyone would want but I can't stop worrying about irrational thoughts and it is destroying me and affects everyone around me.
My girlfriend and I are really honest , we do not drink and tell each other everything , even if it's bad truth is always better, and we are also raelly loyal and here for each other, very down to earth.
Here is an example, what if her disease gets worse what am I gonna become ? What if she goes to a wedding and then all the guys are here hitting on her because she is a brisdmaid ? What happens if a friend of her introduces her to someones else even though she knows that she has me as a boyfriend ? What happens if we move out and then she decides she wants to go back home to her parents will she just leave me ?
Last weekend they had a hens party at our house, and it's been the most challenging moment of my life I swear. They had a stripper. I had put in my head that everyone was gonna get rowdy with him and I worked myself up so much the whole day not knowing what was happening... When I got home she told me the truth, nothing happened, he didn't even go near me, it was gross.
You know what the worse part about this is ? I knew this is how she was going to react, but I just make up crazy stories in my head and it all becomes so real and it really affects my body , it makes me angry, short, sad.
I can't keep living like that, I am sick of making stupid stories in my head and worry about them when I know from the start they are not going to happen ...
What is wrong with me ?
