Very very lost in life

no_job_no_money · ‎23-11-2020

Hi everyone. I am new to the forum and just want to say my story out.

I have been working in my last job for three years. Last week I got terminated from the job because of misconduct. I really regret of what I did, but I don’t think I deserve to be terminated. Detail of this story is confidential but all that happened was I used the transactions from the store to make some financial benefit from another organisation but I didn’t get any benefit from the store itself. HR advisor called that stealing. I would not have done it if I knew the result of this. I just couldn’t stop thinking about the word stealing even though I know I was not. I am also worry what if anyone else finds out and think I am a “theft”?!

Talking about my job and life, I studied a degree in uni (totally not related to retail). I started working as a casual when I was in uni and continued the job as full time after I graduated. I don’t even know what I learnt in uni and feel like wasted many years doing nothing. Now I am trying to look for a new job and every job I look at, I feel that I have no skills that can match. When I look at the options to take traineeship, I see the requirement of “no completion of higher qualification is accepted”, and I just felt worse about the choices I made in the past, why did I even take a degree and why did I wasted so many years in my last job?? And I am still lost and don’t know what type of job i want to or I can do. All my friends got a job in the area they studied, I just think I am so useless.

I am from a single family, my mother is such a great mother, she supports everything I do. The more she supports me the more guilty I feel. She spent all these years growing me up and I can’t even earn the money to pay her back or make her feel proud of me. Her friends’ children all got a nice job and able to support the family, but for me, she can’t even say my occupation out loudly to her friends because I only worked in retail. (She still loves me.)

I don’t know what I am trying to express here but just want to say this out somewhere. Sorry if these is any grammar mistakes or any sentences not making sense, as you can probably tell my English isn’t that good either. Nothing in my life is good.

smallwolf · ‎23-11-2020

hi and welcome to beyond blue.

firstly do not worry about your english. I was able to understand everything you said. 🙂

After I finished high school I went to TAFE because I did not get into Uni. I truly believed I had failed. Using the assoc. dip. from TAFE I was able to get into Uni but still believed that I went via the side door. It was only after I started seeing a psychologist that I have been able to see that we might each have our own journey.

when I was at Uni in the 90s, I lived in a share house with other students. While living there, there were some kids who would talk about "how would they tell their parents they did not want to do some degree" and this was near the end of their degree itself. There are some I know who finished a degree but did not use it later on.
After I finished high school I went to TAFE because I did not get into Uni. I truly believed I had failed. Using the assoc. dip. from TAFE I was able to get into Uni but still believed that I went via the side door. It was only after I started seeing a psychologist that I have been able to see that we might each have our own journey.

After I was on medical leave from work due to mental health issues, my mum suggested I work at somewhere like Bunnings until I got my stuff sorted out. It is sad your mum cannot say what sort of work you do. I would also contend that all jobs are important - whether you are a cleaner, or butcher, work in IT or ??? They each fulfill a role. Finally someone told me about someone else that left the corporate world to start a mowing business because it was something be liked and less stress.

In relation to work ... what sort of things do you like doing?

Listening to you,

Tim

no_job_no_money · ‎26-11-2020

Hi Tim. Thanks for sharing your story. I am looking into jobs or courses in the education sector. At the same time I am also worry about my future career if I do take this step.

smallwolf · ‎26-11-2020

I have worked in IT for much of my life. Things happened and IT is not really for anymore. Two years ago I started a diploma and I recently completed it. I have a plan B that I hope to use execute next year. And I am no spring chicken. There is uncertainty in making a change. The other way of looking at it is ... how would I feel if I did not change career?

There is "comfort" and certainty in what we can do or know. We know what to expect and can prepare for that. For me, is it healthy to stay where I am?

Petal22 · ‎04-12-2020

Hello no job no money,

What you did in your past doesn’t define your future......, think big ... aim high .... you are capable of more than you think......you are not useless don’t tell yourself that..... tell yourself positive things about yourself.... build yourself up....

you are alive.... that’s something that’s great in your life... you have people who love you.... feel that heart beating inside your chest that’s purpose...... your alive for a reason you are supposed to be here.....

keep pushing forward..... be positive....