Tired

[Truetomyself]

At the moment I feel really tired and exhausted from my anxiety that is now impacting my depression.
I am also tired of having to hide it. Especially with work.
I can't afford to loose my job but I can't say what's really going on.
I am scared and unsure of what to do. I have lost jobs because of my mental health being so up and down.
I have no one to talk about it to.

[smallwolf]

If I may... sending you a hug.

It does not sound like you got/get many hugs or love from your writing. That makes me sad. The way you speak about a dog ... you seem to be sensitive and caring person.

Tell me more about this dog. What would you do with it?

[Truetomyself]

I don't get any hugs. It makes me feel unloved and that I am not worthy of love.

Thank you for the compliment. I like to think I am a caring person.

with the dog I would play with it and give it lots of hugs. It would be spoilt.

[smallwolf]

my view is that when we are down we can forget about (lose touch?) with our real self. And I am aware of the effect of not getting something as "simple" as a hug. 😞 Do do have anything like a stuffed animal or blanket for a substitute. Or even a plant, While you cannot cuddle a plant it would be something else living. (I can imagine you playing with a dog.)

You deserve to have your needs met. You are worth investing time and energy into. Your feelings are important. You are important. I think you know you are worthy because you are talking about love here.

What do you think?

[Truetomyself]

I have a stuffed bear.

I don't feel worthy as no one in my family shows me love. They usually yell at me or pay me no attention. It's really lonely and I spend a lot of time crying because I feel so alone and unworthy of love.

[smallwolf]

Do you give your stuffed bear hugs?

Tell me about your bear? Big or small? Age? Colour? I had a small blue bear. Parents kept it til they moved and gave it to me. Would have been 40 years old then.

[Truetomyself]

I give it hugs. But it's not the same as the real thing.

His name is Spencer and he is 40 years old. My aunty gave it to me. He is brown and soft.

Your parent's must have loved you to look after it that long and give it to you.

[smallwolf]

You are right about the my parents giving me that bear. I never thought about it that much.

I also realise it is not the same as the real thing yet it can be helpful. How did you choose that name for your bear? And do you still talk with your aunt?

[Truetomyself]

The bear came with a name.

I still talk to my aunt. It's hard though because my family don't want me to. But I text her.

[Truetomyself]

Today is hard. I feel like a burden to my family and am struggling with my mental health. I am 40 next year and having mental health issues I don't know what to do with my life. I am not well but can't keep staying home. It is so confusing and I am tired of it all.

[Truetomyself]

I am tired of being yelled at because I have a mental illness.