Success stories - returning to work post-baby and rebuilding self-confidence

[Bec2014]

Hi Everyone,

I'm a first-time mum who's returning to work slowly - freelancing one day a week plus a couple of days at home with bub. I've been excited to get back into things, but I am completely lacking any self-confidence (imposter syndrome at its best) and I am quietly terrified at the thought of being social in an office of adults. Prior to baby I've struggled a lot with anxiety and depression, and I feel the mat leave 'gap' has left me feeling even more out of sorts. I have some work lined up, which I am happy about, but I am scared it won't last because I have next to no social skills and am lacking that self-belief. Enter: you lovely folk who have found success in regaining self-belief and overcoming social anxiety. At this point I am feeling pretty isolated about it all and I would love to hear of anyone who has some tried-and-tested tricks they can share. Thanks!

[Nurse_Jenn]

Hi Bec2014,

Its really great to hear that you are taking steps forward like reaching out for support on the beyondblue forum. It says to me that you are motivated and ready in taking steps towards improving your social anxiety and self confidence.

First off it is important to know that you are not alone in this. Anxiety impacts a lot more people than you might think - often people have anxiety but learn how to not wear it outwardly so you might not see it in those around you. Gaining self belief and overcoming social anxiety takes can take some work but it is very achievable. I wonder what strategies you had tried prior to having your baby in managing your anxiety and depression symptoms and if any of these were successful?

There are several different strategies you can try however it can often be trial and error until you find what works best for you. It sounds to me that you already have some goals for your health in mind. Writing out exactly what it is you want to achieve for yourself can be a great reflective process and can really help put things into perspective.

A common first step would be going and talking to your GP. During your appointment you might be able to find a solution in reaching your goals such as a referral to a group program for anxiety or a referral to see a psychologist. I also understand it can be challenging to get to appointments when you have a child at home but there are other starting points such as using online tools. There is an web based program called MindSpot which has several courses for both anxiety and depression. Locally run mothers groups and play groups can be a place where you could connect socially with others who have similar interests but sometimes it takes a few tries to get the right group.

As a first time mum myself, I know how stressful it can be when bubs is unwell or has a unsettled period so getting on top of your symptoms will be really important while you take this new step into the role as working mum. It is a great achievement going back to work but when you are experiencing social anxiety and poor confidence, this could feel tough when other stressors arise.

I am certain that reading through the forum you will find several shared solutions and stories that you might find helpful and there is also the bb social zone thread where you might be able to start chatting to people socially which might give you some practice.

Wishing you the best possible outcome,

Nurse Jenn