Struggling Mum

[AnxietyMumLonelyMum]

Hi everyone… I am very new to this!
I have social anxiety and GAD. Some days are good and I can leave the house and have no problem, but those are rare. Since my second child it has gotten worse. I found myself breaking down to my husband last night, who really truly wants to understand. But he doesn't.
I find myself not being able to talk to my best friend about it. She is in a different stage in her life and when she doesn’t understand something, she never knows what to say so I won’t get replies. I had connected with someone else I've known for a while. But I think she is going through her own things and has shut off recently. I don't want to bother her.
I feel like I am letting my kids down. I want to be that mum that goes out most days takes them somewhere fun without stressing. With having toddler and a baby it is so exhausting even just going to the supermarket. I didn’t feel safe in the last town I was in, so when we moved I had more good days than bad (leaving the house, even going to playgroup), but in the last few months that changed. My husband picks up things that we need, but I worry that him helping is letting my anxiety get the better of me. I feel like I should just be forcing myself to go, even though he doesn’t mind. Sometimes I cant even go to the mailbox. The strange thing is, if its something urgent or if it something my kids need – I can push through (doctor appointments for them/hospital/pharmacy). I have tried medication before but it made me have horrible thoughts and I didnt feel right. So I just stopped taking them (I know that's not great).
I am a stay at home mum and work from home, which makes for late nights and struggling during the day trying to keep both kids happy so I can focus on my work. I love my job, it makes me feel good but being mum and working from home is really trying. I feel it helps me keep some identity, not being just ‘mum’ 24/7. We can’t afford child care just yet.
I have connected with one person who has anxiety (she still gets out though) I haven't confided in her fully. I have a problem with opening up because it makes me feel weak and embarrassed. Majority of people have no idea what’s really happening with me. My husband says how good I am at hiding it.
I want to go out on my own for me time but something is holding me back. I can’t continue like this. I worry about every little thing, about how people perceive me, do they even like me? Even though I know my worry is for no reason. It’s exhausting.

[AnxietyMumLonelyMum]

Hi Nurse Jenn,

I now have a mental health plan through my GP and some medication which I feel might have started working a bit already. I feel relieved I have a plan now. I am hoping that I can find somewhere that given cheaper or even free psychology sessions as the referral I have been given is much more than I can afford. I wonder now that I have a mental health plan, I may not need a referral for someone else to give me some cheaper or free sessions? I wanted to let you know I signed up to a MindSpot course as well, which I will be starting some time today. Thank you for your help.

Mum

[White_Rose]

Hello Mum

Sorry not to reply earlier. I have been in Melbourne for a week and spent some time with my son who lives there. It was great catching up with him in the same room. Phones are good but being together was best.

You sound so much happier. I am most impressed. Glad the meds are helping. Have you or your doctor thought about getting some physiotherapy? The local hospital usually has physios and there is no charge through the public system. I have found physio most helpful at different times. Your GP will need to refer you.

Unfortunately you cannot access a free/bulk billing psychologist without a mental health plan. You can go to a different psych instead of the one named on the plan. Your GP can help with that. Sadly Medicare does not recognise psychologists except via a mental health plan. Have a look round and see if you can contact a psych who bulk bills and then get your GP to fix up the paperwork. You are also limited to ten visits a year which may be OK for the remainder of this year but if you need further appointments next year you can only access ten unless the psych says it is urgent. Talk to your GP about this.

Glad you found a GP you can relax with. Telling the whole story is important and if you feel uncomfortable in any way it does stop you saying some things.

You can access other avenues of counselling. You have enrolled in MindSpot which will help. If there is an Anglicare office near you they usually have counsellors which are free. Also Relationships Australia offer counselling for a very low fee. I believe the Salvation Army also offer counselling. See what's available or ask your GP. These are all worthwhile options and could supplement the psychology sessions.

Going back to your yoga may be a good option either now or little way in the future. Again talk to your GP first.

Hope all this information does feel overwhelming.

Mary