Separated from wife of 25 years

[Soniq]

Hi, I separated from my wife of 25 years last night and thought I was ok. Today I had, what I can only describe as an anxiety attack, head felt like it was going to explode, heart racing, shortness of breath, couldn't move. Is this normal?? I was diagnosed wit depression about 10 years ago and take medication but have never had anything like this

[Matchy69]

Hi soniq i understand your anxiety and what you might be going through.I seperated from my wife about 12 years ago and i really was in a bad state after i coulnt sleep i could feel my heart racing and felt sick and just layed on my bed.It is really a hard time emotionally for you.Do you have some support friends,family to talk to.And it would be a good idea to see your doctor and tell them whats happen and how you are feeling.It can take time to start feeling better and you can come on here to talk.

Take care,

Mark.

[Number 86]

Hi Soniq,

Yes unfortunately that crippling feeling sounds like a panic attack.

I have the same feelings when I am having an attack and feel like I can’t move.

Very scary feeling but know that you’re not alone and with the support of this community will help guide you back on track.

[therising]

Hi Soniq

Identifying the cause of a sudden surge of energy can be tricky at times. Sometimes, it's about 'a sudden rise to action'. You've taken a massive life changing course, regarding the separation. If you can imagine this now a little like being at the starting block of a marathon of change, the starting gun has just gone off. Pow, okay 'GO!' You're body is set for hyper (increased) activity.

Such a surge of energy can hold 2 different perspectives: 1) From the perspective of someone who's incredibly excited to be free of a spouse, they will welcome the feeling of hyperactivity. They use it to power them self through the changes they face. They will feel courage begin to churn in their gut, the excitement will get their heart racing, they'll barely be able to control their breathing due to the excitement and their head will feel like it's exploding with ideas and possibilities. 2) From the perspective of someone who is somewhat fearful about the future, they may feel the same course of action powering up through their body, beginning from the gut, leading up to the head, yet will perceive it from the point of view of fear and self doubt. The way the body and brain interact at deep levels can lead us to feelings of empowerment or disempowerment.

Wondering if you have any plans you are looking forward to in the way of restructuring your life. Is there anything you feel a little excited about exploring? Maybe looking to this particular bit of inspiration could help you during your transition. Could this help you identify with your body and mind's rise in energy in positive ways? Maybe talking to a friend, family member or mental health professional may inspire you further, helping you map out some positive territory worth exploring.

Of course, I don't want to dismiss the incredible upset and stress you may be experiencing. Such stress and upset can definitely be overwhelming and confronting. It is simply my deepest wish to inspire you to acknowledge the power you hold, from a different perspective.

All the best 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Soniq and those above as well, it doesn't matter how long you have been married, once you decide to separate, the reality sets in, either in a positive or a negative way, depending on the situation.

Depression and anxiety can be linked, although I'm not qualified to say, however, at one point one of them can be much stronger than the other, I have felt myself, so by having appointments with a psychologist we could discuss any triggers that may be the cause.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.