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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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sim777 Derealization and anxiety/depression disorder, the 'scary' anxiety infliction, but it can be managed.
  • replies: 2

I've had anxiety/panic disorder/depression for over 45 years with Dearealization, I'm 59. It's a scary experience that can last for minutes, hours or months. Sadly, it is under reported in the media and the general population has no idea of how debil... View more

I've had anxiety/panic disorder/depression for over 45 years with Dearealization, I'm 59. It's a scary experience that can last for minutes, hours or months. Sadly, it is under reported in the media and the general population has no idea of how debilitating this condition is as there is no cure. I can have daily physical symptoms (Somatisation) as a juxtaposition to anxiety/panic disorder. They are debilitating and keep me socially reclusive and unable to function normally. I hear a lot of sports people talking about their story of depression, wonderful for awareness, but panic disorder and the daily physical/discomfort is not really a known issue to the public. If one has a broken arm in a sling, people will know something is wrong, no need to explain, right? With mental health, most of us put on a brave faces and a 'smile' so we don't suffer the wrath of 'you look fine'..get on with it! I was a record producer/writer of some of Australia's iconic artists. I struggled daily at the height of my humbling ARIA awarded career. I had a great psychotherapist using role play therapy as a method to live with acute panic disorder. Sometimes giving a symptom a 'name' can also reduce the anxiety about ..the anxiety! The first step for help is to talk to a GP and if they don't 'get you' another will. Mental health disorders are such an invisible infliction and family sometimes will not believe or understand how you feel. An ex partner, who was concerned about my condition at the time was once told by her brother, "give him a hard time and he'll snap out of it" - WRONG!! There are so many roads to recovery. Being kind to yourself is a good start and not worrying about what others might think. Trying to achieve 'one win per day' no matter how small is a great mantra, I know what it's like being bed bound due to horrific depression. Another, whether it be depression or anxiety is occupation of the mind, a real key. 'Acceptance' is another. Anything that takes you away from the conscious state you are presently in can work. Yes, Derealization and all the awful symptoms may return, but it's a reminder that they can and will dissipate. Congratulations to all at Beyond Blue and all the forum contributors, you are empowering other sufferers to have hope. Derealization really needs awareness, It's known as the 'scary anxiety symptom', but no one mentions it and it doesn't need to be scary.

James Terrified I’ll be the next “20 something dies of rare disease”
  • replies: 2

Hi, I’m 26, and started getting chest pains, bouts of shortness of breath, burning sensations in the middle of my chest, and some agonising sharp pains amongst my lower ribs and upper back, all rounded off with a nice persistent cough (it’s come and ... View more

Hi, I’m 26, and started getting chest pains, bouts of shortness of breath, burning sensations in the middle of my chest, and some agonising sharp pains amongst my lower ribs and upper back, all rounded off with a nice persistent cough (it’s come and gone for 3 years now). I work in agriculture in rural NSW, far from just about anything or anyone. I somehow managed to see 5 doctors in the first month, unsatisfied by each gp telling me nothing was wrong. Finally went to the ER in a massive panic one night but was duly assured I wasn’t running out of air since my blood oxygen was 100%, and ECG/triponin fine despite the awful pains I was feeling inside my chest and back. I’ve since started therapy and medication. Unfortunately, none of this seems to be helping me very much. Dr. Google has since convinced me I have lung cancer, Crohn’s disease, GERD, or asthma waiting to kill me at an inconvenient moment. My greatest fear is COPD, given the amount of dust that’s around out here, but of course a spirometery test found only “slight congestion” and certainly nothing worth worrying about. A chest specialist took a test today revealing my blood oxygen was 94% at rest, which sent me into a tailspin thinking this (otherwise benign detail...) was concrete evidence my lungs were failing and I’d suffer an awful death. I’ve been a mess all afternoon since; she assured multiple times I’ll have a long and lovely life and that I only seem to have very mild bronchial congestion which could explain all the pain and be treated easily, but every day feels like I’m going to have a painful end resulting from some unknown condition because the feelings are so real, even though I’m more or less medically fine besides what should be very unconcerning and mild congestion. Getting more tests soon (CT and bloods for chronic bronchitis, cancer, etc.) but I just feel physically awful. Can anybody offer any insight whatsoever as to what’s happening? My therapist has gone over relaxation techniques and deep breathing (doesn’t help when my chest feels like an iron band is wrapped around it), and I don’t know if my fears are justified or just silly. Not to be too annoying but I’m just constantly petrified with the pain whilst being told everything is fine. Has anyone else had similar problems/have advice for someone just starting out with anxiety? Any and all help would be immeasurably appreacited, (thankyou in advance!)

Meg_611 My intro - is this really anxiety?
  • replies: 1

Hi All, this is my first post not sure where I’m supposed to post etc. At the end of June this year I had an episode after the toilet where I stood up and felt lightheaded. I looked in the mirror and could see my pulse beating. I continued feeling di... View more

Hi All, this is my first post not sure where I’m supposed to post etc. At the end of June this year I had an episode after the toilet where I stood up and felt lightheaded. I looked in the mirror and could see my pulse beating. I continued feeling dizzy and my work took me to hospital. An ECG, cat scan of my head and neck were all clear. Since this episode I have felt lightheaded, random stabbing pains on my head, tight chest, swollen throat. But the main symptom is I can CONSTANTLY feel my heart pounding in my chest and a neck, but also sometimes in my fingertips. I’ve had a brain mri, carotid artery scan, echo stress test, thyroid ultrasound. Everything has come back clear - BUT during this process I discovered I have high chlolesterol (they suspect its genetic) and thyroid antibodies with a swollen thyroid which drs say is Hashimotos. So those unexpected diagnoses have been rather stressful. My other strange symptom is I cannot lie on my right side in bed if I do I become dizzy and feel like my heart can’t pump enough blood to my head. Sometimes when I stand up or leav over to pick something off the ground I feel like I get a build up of pressure in my head. My doctors keep saying it is anxiety - but I just don’t believe them and feel like there is physically something wrong with me somewhere. I am also wondering if anyone else as a silly habit of stressing about emptying their bladder before bedtime? I have for years and it results in my overstraining trying to make sure every drop is out - I hate myself for doing it- but my body won’t let me relax unless I do. It’s got this reason that I worry I have damage something internally which is now impacting my heart and/or blood flow. Has anyone else got this habit or tips to help me ? please it’s been 6 months straight of constant heart palpitations (forceful heartbeat- normal pulse) and i am just so sick of it

Medrit Discord Roleplay causing turmoil on my emotions
  • replies: 6

Hello all, I've been in a discord roleplay server for a while now and have gotten co-owner, it was fine for a bit until it started affecting my mental health. It started getting better when the server died and it was only me and another person rolepl... View more

Hello all, I've been in a discord roleplay server for a while now and have gotten co-owner, it was fine for a bit until it started affecting my mental health. It started getting better when the server died and it was only me and another person roleplaying. Recently a staff member came back and started to do a reset. I don't necessarily like change and this made me uncomfortable, but I endured it and pushed on. This morning I woke up and checked over the staff chat and found out that we would be resetting everything and we weren't allowed to reuse characters. I was pretty annoyed with this as I put in a lot of effort into the characters. A few of my characters got into relationships with the person I mentioned earlier and whenever I brought up leaving the server she would lose their mind and I felt bad thinking about it. During this period I developed a sort of crush on her, another person joined and made a character then afterwards got into a relationship with this person. Since I've had a crush on this person this made me jealous. It also made me feel not wanted because she would stop RPing with me to RP with him. After enduring that emotion eating and tearing me apart, the person left after not wanting to roleplay anymore. I was happy and starting to feel better since he left and we got back to RP. He came back when we began to reset the server. When he came back I began to feel worse and worse as she kept on ignoring me and our RP to speak to him. I want to just leave the server but I can't help but feel jealous that her characters will get into a relationship with his. I also can't but think that the staff team is talking behind my back. I know that if I don't leave the server then I know my mentality isn't going to get better, but it's the same if I stay. I don't know what to do or how to control these emotions let alone get rid of them or cope with them. Sorry that this was a bit long as well.

Cerise547 Awful dream has sent me into an anxiety spiral
  • replies: 4

If you have the time PLEASE reply to this with some help, I'm feeling really awful about this. So last night I had a bad dream, centred around some of my main anxieties/OCD obsessions. I don't want to go into detail about them, but one of the main wa... View more

If you have the time PLEASE reply to this with some help, I'm feeling really awful about this. So last night I had a bad dream, centred around some of my main anxieties/OCD obsessions. I don't want to go into detail about them, but one of the main ways that I have to combat them is to reaffirm to myself that they are not a reflection of me. In the past, I've only had to deal with thoughts of these obsessions, like while I'm awake. But last night I had a very vivid dream that played into these OCD obsessions and images, and in the dream I was the opposite of how I try to reaffirm myself as in real life. So pretty much I was painted as the "bad guy" i suppose, and all those things that I'm scared really were a reflection of me (in the dream). When I woke up I was reeeeally anxious. I felt like since these images had crossed into my dreams, does that mean that they're true? That they ARE a reflection of me? It's weird because in the dream, i was fine with it but in real life I am not. It sent me wayyy backwards and I've been anxious and crying all day. I can't talk to my family about it because the dream involved them and I do not want to talk to them about it. I feel like all of my hard work convincing myself that these anxieties aren't ME has gone out the window. I've heard lots of things about how dreams are a refelction of your subconscious and they "mean something". I'm way too scared to look into what this dream would mean. I feel like a disgusting monster honestly. These images are really distressing and i feel like I can't face my family. I was finally getting into an okay place with this obsessions and now I feel like I've gone back to square one. I've worked with my psych through the anxious thoughts: we've gone through how thoughts kind of mean nothing and you can't control them anyway, but we've never talked about dreams because they've never been an issue before. I honestly have no idea whether they MEAN something or not and I'm too scared to research whether or not they do. I've been scared like "what if deep down this whole time I have felt these things and agreed with them (the obsessions/images/worries)". I don't know whether I dreamt about this simply because it's been in my subconscious a lot because I worry about it a lot, or whether it's a reflection of me, who I am, how I feel deep down. I'm terrified and I don;t know whether I'm a monster or not. I don;t know what this all means. I feel so awful. Please please please help me! Cerise

Tanzi Anxiety Depression and Alcohol
  • replies: 13

I've been anxious and depressed since I was about 7, prior to that I thought I was great! I came from an upper middle class family where my Dad was State Manager of this and that and Mum was a Mum. I was an only child for 10 years and then I got 2 si... View more

I've been anxious and depressed since I was about 7, prior to that I thought I was great! I came from an upper middle class family where my Dad was State Manager of this and that and Mum was a Mum. I was an only child for 10 years and then I got 2 sister within 18 months. Mum and Dad fought every night and Mum made me stick up for her against Dad. The rest is Psychiatrist material. Anyway long story short I moved states at 21 and had no idea of who I was, luckily I made great friends and forged my way through but anorexia and bulimia crept in, My family moved states for a new start and I followed because I could feel I wasn't mentally right but unfortunately I wasn't as readily accepted and the fighting was still there, I stayed under sufferance and alcohol became my best friend and continued to be for about 20 years. I had bad relationships that did nothing for my self esteem then about 10 years ago I met a wonderful man and married, too late to have children. I moved to Melbourne where he lived and we had a wonderful social life, life in general was great. We decided to move back to where I was born to save money and thats when the horror began. My depression and anxiety went out of control along with drinking (I was a heavy drinker for about 15 years) all the bad memories consumed me and he said we need to quit drinking. He did and stood by it and I have lived in a constant mess trying to quit, The longest time was 2 years and for no apparent reason after a trip to see my Family just drove to the bottle shop and drank in th car. I have been to detox about 5 times. My thinking is that I want my best friend (alcohol) around social times and holidays Xmas, Easter etc and I go into a big slump and find it hard to either be happy or abstain. I detoxed in hospital about 3 weeks ago and my Husband said this was my last chance, I had to go to rehab, I went for an interview and it was full of people very unlike me mainly men and I felt intimidated. My Husband agreed this place was not for me and I have to find my own alternative hence me writing to BB, My Doctor sent me to a psychologist and all she has done is give me lots of sheets of paper about cognitive therapy and offered no real help. I am now waiting for an appointment to see a psychiatrist. I hate it if we do go out when people say oh do you mind if I drink, or aren't you good I couldn't do it or even mention anything about alcohol at all. I miss my crutch but I can't seem to have a couple it turns into a couple of weeks and then I get really sick. I just want to feel normal I am on anti anxiety/depression tablets but it doesn't stop me from feeling abnormal. I know it sounds self indulgent but I am fat with little confidence, have no sex drive and fun is fleeting. Can anyone relate or have any ideas. Thanks Tanzi

assj anxiety and bad pmdd
  • replies: 3

my pms time in my cycle is awful. i experience everything you can think of pre-mensturation including an increase in anxiety. the worst is my heartrate elevation. :(( its hard because there isnt much online discussion about this kind of thing. doctor... View more

my pms time in my cycle is awful. i experience everything you can think of pre-mensturation including an increase in anxiety. the worst is my heartrate elevation. :(( its hard because there isnt much online discussion about this kind of thing. doctors have told me It’s Just Your Hormones Fluctuating... but no one else i know gets high heartrate during PMS.... i take meds to lower my heart rate but around this time of the month they either only help a little or not at all. i get anxious at night a few days before my period comes because i can feel the thumping in my chest and cant sleep.... the palps range from 80 to 100bpm ive had ecgs and heart scans in the past, all good. these types of palps go away when my period comes... but before that its so hard to feel ok... does anyone else experience this at all? i feel so alone.

nervous_nelly Considering meds and nervous
  • replies: 3

Hi all, This is my first post here, I’ve lurked and read a few over the last couple of months though. I’ve recently come to the conclusion (following long conversations with psychologist, GP and husband) that it’s probably time to commence medication... View more

Hi all, This is my first post here, I’ve lurked and read a few over the last couple of months though. I’ve recently come to the conclusion (following long conversations with psychologist, GP and husband) that it’s probably time to commence medication for my anxiety/agoraphobia. Likely an SSRI, am seeing my GP tomorrow (thanks public holidays for that delightful wait time ) to discuss which medication is likely to be best to try. I’ve tried over the last year to manage my symptoms and periods of extreme anxiety via other means- I don’t know why, but I have been strongly resisting regular medication. Exercise, therapy, meditation etc however I have slowly been feeling worse, with shorter periods of wellness between the more uncomfortable times. I’m writing this post because I’m super nervous about starting medication. I’m breastfeeding, and have done a lot of research into medications appropriate to use while breastfeeding (I’m a health professional, not in mental health, and can’t help myself when it comes to drug interactions, side effects etc). I’ve read about all the possible side effects, expected periods of time before the medication will start working etc, and starting to feel quite worried about it. I know it’s probably a daft thing to have done, but I always feel like more knowledge is better than less. A large part of my anxiety/agoraphobia manifests as a fear of driving, and I’ve started to freak out a bit about the side effects and driving to and from work. It’s only a 30minute drive, but it’s the only way to get there and has been a source of my worry over the past year. Particularly driving after long shifts or night shifts. I guess I’m just after a little reassurance that it’s “normal” to be nervous about commencing medication, and maybe hear others experiences? I know everyone will experience meds differently, but at the moment it feels so overwhelming and like no one else in the world has ever felt like this, and I’m the only one. Which I know I mustn’t be. People function well on medication everyday- right?! Thanks guys.

Paddlepop13 Obsessive thoughts
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting. I am 27 and my whole teen/early adult life I thought I was just a slightly stressy slightly neurotic person like a personality quirk. But since beginning to have serious romantic relationships around 18 it ... View more

Hi everyone, this is my first time posting. I am 27 and my whole teen/early adult life I thought I was just a slightly stressy slightly neurotic person like a personality quirk. But since beginning to have serious romantic relationships around 18 it got so much worse. I struggled so badly with all-consuming jealousy even if it was baseless and I become hyper vigilant for signs that I should be jealous which is exhausting for myself and awful for my partner. I havent been able to hold a relationship for longer than 2 yr. Recently I have noticed that things are changing though. I met someone I loved so much and tried hard not to be jealous (though I still was frequently but to me it was an improvement compared to past relationships) - but in suppressing that behaviour a new thing emerged. I worried constantly about his character. I worried about whether he secretly had sexual interests or desires I might find immoral. I worried that he might be a paedophile (completely baseless btw and looking back, can't believe I would think that?) Then I worried he might be secretly gay. I worried myself sick over the idea he might prefer my friends to me. I have no clue where these thoughts or worries came from at all but at the time they seemes real and important. He left me a few weeks ago and I have been struggling terribly. I feel that he deserves to be free of me but also I want so badly to be able to be a normal happy girlfriend and let him like me, but i cant and I dont know why. Recently I have also started having intrusive thoughts. this is totally new for me, the thoughts are of a family member sexually assaulting me as a child. I am 99.999% sure it didnt happen as sometimes I can even feel the sensation of my brain "making it up" voluntarily almost as though it just wants to think about the worst possible thing it can on purpose. But then I get confused and obsess about it and try to recall more evidence for it etc. Sorry I dont really have a question I just cant sleep cant relax and needed to tell someone.

Lozzy33 Relationship Anxiety & Desperation vs Self Worth
  • replies: 2

I have been dating a guy on and off for about 6 months. Recently he has voiced his concerns about moving forward as a couple and that he doesn’t want to be with me right now for various reasons. As soon as this happened, I instantly blamed myself, my... View more

I have been dating a guy on and off for about 6 months. Recently he has voiced his concerns about moving forward as a couple and that he doesn’t want to be with me right now for various reasons. As soon as this happened, I instantly blamed myself, my insecurity says it’s me, I am the reason he doesn’t want to commit - I am not good enough. My mind starts creating problems and scenarios in my head that aren’t even happening and so the spiral begins. We starting arguing around this topic and as this happens a snow ball starts to form, more anxiety, more emotion and more insecurity is built up, which results in more pressure and more arguing. I start to get highly emotional and irrational as he pulls away from me, which again creates more desperation for me as I try and pull back. This has gone for weeks and kudos to him, he has tolerated the entire process respectfully. I on the other hand haven’t been able to keep a calm mind, I am erratic, I am up and down and constantly embarrassing myself in the process - saying and doing things I shouldn’t and then being overwhelmed with instant regret and guilt. There are moments when I feel like things have been saved, but then instantly lost again. Then the worse things get between us, the worse I feel, the more anxious, panic stricken I feel, yet I’m the one making the whole situation worse, therefore I’m creating the outcome and ultimately the way I’m feeling and I don’t know how to make it stop, it’s a very toxic cycle. I don’t know why I put myself through the torment either - the simple solution would be to stop talking to him and I cant. Ideally if I showed enough self love for myself, I would have been able to walk away knowing that I deserve better. Instead I have lowered myself to the point of begging, discounting my self worth entirely and utterly afraid to let go of someone who has doesn’t want me, have the time for me nor deserve me. The texts and the discussions around this are still being battled out, but I know it’s not long before he can’t take it anymore and blocks my number. I don’t know why I want someone and so desperately look for comfort in someone who doesn’t want me. I can’t explain why I behave or feel this way. Does anyone else ever feel this anxious, emotional, desperation or look for love, support and relationships in all the wrong places?